Battleground #1 : Best of Both Worlds

(The opening sequence shows the highlights of the competitors in their various matches intermingled with Manga style action poses by the participating teams followed by the words "Best of Both Worlds" before switching to the ringside area. The cameras pan the ringsiders who are holding signs saying "Nerds Rule the World!," "Inmates Rule the Asylum," "Wildcat Scratches the Competition!," "Olympia's a Golden Goddess!," and "Hired Killers for Hire!" before fading to the commentator's table where Warren W. Webber and Mervyn are joined by Dragonatrix and The Hired Killers Jade and Kim.)

WWW: "Welcome back, we're joined by the legendary Dragonatrix and The Hired Killers Jade and Kim."

Dragonatrix: "Thanks and it's good to be here representing SWAT Amazons in the broadcast booth and making sure the roster follows the itinerary and promotional appearances."

WWW: "I noticed that Olympia's in the ringside area."

Dragonatrix: "She's here as Goodwill Ambassador for SWAT Amazons and she's well known internationally so Delilah gave her the responsibility to spread good will during the tour."

Merlyn: "She can fit my bill anytime."

Dragonatrix: "She's married Pervy...."

Melvyn: "That's Melvy...."

Dragonatrix: "Whatever."

WWW: "So Jade you have an interest in this match as well. Alice called you out in No Man's Land#4: All In and Lightning's trying to get a shot at you too along with the rest of the roster after that brutal three way battle between yourself, 'Lucky' Linda La Fey and your sister Kim."

Jade: "I'm only interested and concentrating on one opponent and that's 'Lucky' Linda La Fey. I promised her a rematch and I'm going to give her that rematch no matter what anyone says. I'll meet her anytime and anywhere and in any kind of match and unlike certain champions I won't make excuses to not defend my title. I'm going to be in the ring and ready to wrestle. The fans want this and so do we."

Melvyn: "I'm just wondering if you could do a hit job for me."

Kim: "You got the money. We got the time. So what's your offer since we don't work for cheap."

Melvyn: "How about $50,000pounds."

Kim: "American Dollars no foreign currency."

Melvyn: "It's $45,000 in American Dollars."

WWW: "He doesn't even have that kind of money."

Kim: "Is that so. Then forget it."

WWW: "Let's get to this match which is quite dangerous in every way whatsoever."

Dragonatrix: "Compared to my retirement match with Neela Shizeguma which was an Ultimate Death Match. This match is more mild and harmless and a walk in the park."

WWW: "We saw that one and it was extremely violent and brutal."

Melvyn: "Why did you end the careers of those three lovely babes which was unjustified."

Dragonatrix: "They interfered with my business and they paid a heavy price with their health and careers."

WWW: "Well one of the tag team competitors is the woman you defeated in your retirement match Neela Shizeguma."

Dragonatrix: "Yeah we had a few bloody wars and believe me she's tougher than she looks."

WWW: "How did this feud come about anyway."

Dragonatrix: "I'm still being asked that question everywhere I go and I keep telling everyone the same thing. Now I'm going to say it one final time and that is Neela attacked me in the parking lot whether it was out of jealousy or the fact she didn't win the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship. She even cost me a shot at retiring earlier but in the end I defeated her."

WWW: "You and Lynn Brewster had quite a few wars and history yourselves."

Jade: "We had quite a few battles too and Lynn's very tough and when it comes to hard hitting brutality Lynn Brewster is all that and more."

WWW: "You can bet that it's going to be just that and more. Right now let's get to the ring introductions."

Frank Salazar : "Ladies and Gentlemen. The winner of this tour is going to be the SWAT World Tag Team Champions. This match is scheduled for one fall and it's a Lightning Rope Match. Introducing first from St. Louis, Missouri and Osaka, Japan now residing in New York City, NY. respectively. They come in at a combined weight of 380lbs. Please welcome Neela Shizeguma accompanied by Cam Davitt and the current SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Champion Wildcat Lynn Brewster."

("Cat Scratch Fever" by Pantera plays and the ringsiders boo as Lynn Brewster and Neela Shizeguma appear on the stage as Cam Davitt comes up behind Neela. Lynn looks around soaking up the boos and wait before coming to ringside with Cam following behind Neela. They reach the ring and Lynn enters the ring and looks around soaking in the boos as Cam talks to Neela who nods and enters the ring.)

Frank Salazar : "Now introducing from MIDA and Dark Temple respectively. They come in at a combined weight of 320lbs. They are led to the ring by Mr. Green. Please welcome Lightning and Evil Lynn aka Asylum."

(Entrance strobe lights begin flashing white lights throughout the arena and on stage as "Wind Up Toy" by Alice Cooper begins to play and Mr. Green leads Asylum out onto the stage to boos from the ringsiders. They are wearing strait jackets to prevent them from attacking the fans and staff.)

Lightning: "Oh Hired Killers we apologize for embarrassing you earlier this year, sorry to see you just lost the last match and wont be around to meet us in the final. Just give up on trying to win those World Tag Team Titles. Oh and Jade just give me your SWAT Amazons Women's Championship before I kill you."

(Jade gets up ominously and slowly removes her dark shades glaring at her and Lightning returns the glare until Dragonatrix sighs and gets up and places a hand on Jade's shoulder and nudges her back into her seat.)

Dragonatrix: "Mr. Green will you advise Lightning to get into the ring or me and Delilah Strain will read both you and Asylum the riot act."

Mr. Green: "Lightning take it out on the opponents and we'll talk about this later."

Lightning: "Okay. We'll meet again Ceramic Dolls."

(She laughs as the Hired Killers slowly get up but they glance at Dragonatrix and think twice about it.)

Frank Salazar : "Now introducing from Cleveland OH and Elmwood Park, NJ respectively. They come in at a combined weight of 225lbs. Please welcome The Mean Girls Wendy and Lizzie."

("Spiteful" plays and the camera quickly shows towards the ramp music playing lights beaming blue and white flashed across the arena as The Mean Girls doing their four finger pose conceited and arrogant. They roll their eyes and start heading towards the ring. They slide into the ring to avoid the Lightning Ropes.)

Melvyn: "The Mean Girls are my ultimate Dream Girls."

Dragonatrix: "Pervy is the right name for you."

Frank Salazar : "Now introducing from Dallas, TX and Silicon Valley, Ca. respectively. They come in at a combined weight of 325lbs. Please welcome Alice and Erica Lindsay Richards."

(The theme from the original 1984 movie "Ghostbusters" plays and Alice and Erica Lindsay Rich come out to the stage dressed in Ghostbusters outfits equipped with the accessories. They dance their way to ringside like the cast of the 1984 in music video from the original movie to thunderous cheers.)

Melvyn: "This is going to be interesting we have The Ghostbusters vs. Lynnzilla vs. two Mrs. Frankensteins and my Dream Girls risking their fine beauty. Erica is staring lasers at my Dream Girls and Lynnzilla while Lynnzilla's returning the stare to both Alice and Erica and vice versa. Yeah things will be getting interesting."

WWW: "The bell rings and this match is underway. Alice starts off the match and along with Wendy. They lock up and Wendy delivers a series of kicks and punches followed by a series of jabs, Wendy goes for a big shot and Alice ducks and Wendy’s fist slaps into the electric ropes and it zaps her resulting in Wendy holding her fist and crying in pain."

Jade: “Alice does her best Hulk Hogan impersonation and points to Erica who also points to Alice and tags in. Erica snapmares Wendy and stomps on that injured hand."

Erica: "Did I do that! Tee....Heee! Hee!"

Kim: "Erica continues to work on that hand grinding it with her boot and continuing to increase the pressure. Wendy makes her way back to her feet and rakes Erica's eyes. She applies a side headlock and Erica shoves her off, but Wendy uses the hair and reapplies the side headlock and takes her over the hip grinding it in."

Dragonatrix: "She continues to grind it in and Erica counters with a leg scissors and grips the arm for a submission hold. That's a wise move to work on both the hand and arm as Wendy manoeuvres towards the ropes and she slides her foot under them to prevent being shocked by those lightning ropes."

Melvyn: "Oh please let that be me in the leg scissors and I don't mean the geeks legs either. Wendy tags in Lizzie who charges and is met with a Japanese armdrag and is subjected to another one before Erica applies a step over armbar."

Dragonatrix: "You can tell that Brewster's studying Erica along with Alice making things even more intriguing."

WWW: "Lizzie makes her way back to a vertical base and delivers a series of forearms. She bounds into the ropes and painfully executes a dropkick and then does another. She whips Erica into the ropes and executes a flying clothesline and makes the cover.....One! Erica kicks out."

Dragonatrix: "Lizzie wisely goes for a reverse chin lock to wear Erica down and she's grinding it in. Erica's slowly getting to her feet and she counters with a series of elbows and an atomic drop suplex. She drops a series of elbows onto Lizzie's chest and makes the cover....One.....Wendy breaks it up."

Melvyn: "Great save by my Dream Girls."

Dragonatrix: "Keep it in your pants Pervy."

Jade: "Erica delivers a series of head butts followed by a body slam and drops a series of knees to Wendy's back. She whips Lizzie into a corner and Brewster tags herself in."

Kim: "Looks like a sign of things to come. These two are giving each other the eye as they circle and lock up. Brewster easily overpowers her into the ropes and unleashes a series of devastating body shots as well as knees and chops."

WWW: "If this is a preview of things to come then Erica's title hopes are greatly dimmed. Brewster whips Erica into the ropes but misses with a clothesline and Erica comes off the ropes and executes a flying forearm. Brewster's still standing but on really wobbly legs."

Dragonatrix: "Erica delivers a series of kicks to Brewster's legs which is also sound strategy to take away most of her offense. Brewster stumbles into a corner and Erica jumps onto her and starts pounding away on her head and follows up with a series of elbows. The Pan Amazon Women's Champion shoves her off."

Melvyn: "Like the pest she is. Erica continues to work on Lynn's leg with those kicks and Lynn counters with a clothesline. She uses her size advantages and reaches out and tags in Neela Shizeguma who delivers a dropkick to Erica's face not that it will improve that ugly geek's looks. She grounds and pounds Erica and drops a leg on her and covers for a two count."

Dragonatrix: "Neela's doing what Neela does best and that's showing her aggressive nature. Believe me I know and I felt it during our feud. Neela whips Erica into the ropes and Evil Lynn secretly tags herself in and runs through both of them like a diesel truck."

Kim: "Evil Lynn starts to open up a can of whoop ass on both Neela and Erica. She leaves and goes under the ring apron and finds a steel rod and returns to beat both Neela and Erica with it. She whips Neela into the ropes and she hits a line drive before beating her over the back with that steel rod."

Jade: "Evil Lynn unceremoniously tosses Erica out of the ring and then does the same to Neela....."

Evil Lynn: "Oh Hired Killers come and join in on our fun...."

Jade: "Put your finger in a socket and shock some damned sense into that brainless skull of yours."

WWW: "Evil Lynn doesn't see Brewster come into the ring and she turns around and is choke slammed. Lightning charges in and she also gets choke slammed. It sure didn't take long for order to break down."

Lynn Brewster: "You want some of this too Golden Gutless!"

Olympia: "Let's see who's gutless when you face me again for the title!"

Dragonatrix: "Looks like Im have to read the riot act again to the whole roster with Delilah watching. Alice comes in and both she and Brewster are exchanging some stiff shots. Alice is still out for revenge after Lynn defeated her months ago."

Melvyn: "Lynnzilla whips Alice into the ropes and delivers a big boot to the jaw. My Dream Girls look to sneak in but Lynnzilla gives them the eye and they think twice about doing so. Oh such a wise decision my lovely dream dates. Erica re enters the ring with a barbed wire baseball bat as Lynnzilla turns around and she blasts her with it."

WWW: "Alice and Erica double suplex Brewster before Erica scrapes the barbed wire baseball bat over her head making her bleed real badly. The Mean Girls attempt to re enter the ring again but Erica dropkicks them into the ropes and they become entangled and they are being electrocuted and fried in those ropes."

Melvyn: "No! Please my Dream Girls are suffering and I have to save them from being mauled to death by those wires of death!"

Dragonatrix: "I hate drama queens like you Pervy."

Kim: "Erica leaves the ring and she goes under the ring apron. She finds a table and she and Alice slide it into the ring. They set it up....I can't believe Erica just plugged in that table into an electrical outlet."

Jade: "Alice and Erica just whipped Neela into the ropes and she painfully comes off the ropes and gets double flap jacked onto that electrified table. Asylum's laughing and they want in on the fun too. Looks like there's a tag team more crazier than Psychotic Goth."

Dragonatrix: "Looks like Erica's using one of the tanks to spray water onto the electrified table. They whip Lynn into the ropes and she painfully comes off only to be double flapjacked onto the table and Asylum's going crazy because they want to have some fun with it."

Melvyn: "What do you expect from the Frankenstein sisters....."

Lightning: "Come on let us play with the table too...."

Melvyn: "Yeah the Frankenstein sisters want to play with the table too."

WWW: "The Mean Girls untangle from those ropes. Alice bounds into the ropes and as Erica leaves the ring and Wendy secretly tags in and she executes a flying leg clothesline to Alice."

Melvyn: "Wendy bounds into the ropes again but Lightning secretly tags in. Please don't maul one part of my dream dates. Lightning whips Wendy into the ropes and absorbs additional punishment as she comes off and Lightning running clotheslines her hard."

Dragonatrix: "Lizzie comes in and gets clotheslined by Lightning too. Asylum places their hands onto the table and they laugh as they get shocked by that electrified table. They take their hands off the table and they look all crazed and demented as they turn around and square off with The Mean Girls."

Melvyn: "Ring the bell! Stop the match but please save my Dream Girls!"

Kim: "Oh shut up! This is professional wrestling not a sex hotline. Asylum takes the steel rod and barbed wire baseball bat and smashes The Mean Girls with them."

Dragonatrix: "At least we know two things: Erica invented an electrical table that can withstand a heavy pounding and there's no shortage of metallic objects in the ring for this demolition derby of a match. Lizzie just brained Evil Lynn with a chair and flees the ring before Asylum could catch her."

WWW: "Smart move on her part and my colleague Melvyn would agree to that. Alice double clotheslines Asylum while Erica comes in with a couple of chairs. She sets them up and sits both Wendy and Lizzie into the chairs...."

Erica: "Detention time for being mean to the geeks!"

Jade: "Erica just bound into the ropes and double dropkicks both of them. Alice buttbombs Wendy and then does the same to Lizzie and they both make the cover but Neela and Brewster make the break saving the match. They mount and ground and pound Erica and Alice delivering double doses of whoop ass."

Kim: "Neela leaves the ring and finds a stop sign and brains both members of Asylum along with Mr. Green. Cam DDT's him for good measure as Neela returns to the ring and hands the stop sign to Brewster who smashes it into Erica's face. Asylum just noticed Mr. Green unconscious and are really mad."

Melvyn: "My Dream Girls just launched themselves over the top ropes onto Asylum and all four were knocked into the security railing and are uncouncious on the floor. Oh please let my dream dates be in one piece....The sex we can have and the orgy....."

Dragonatrix: "Oh zip your pants up already Pervy. Brewster sets up the stop sign in the corner and whips Erica face first into it and drives Erica's head into the edge of the stop sign cutting her open real bad."

WWW: "Let it not be said that nobody obeys the traffic laws in America or abroad."

Lynn Brewster: "This is going to be you bronze bitch!"

Olympia: "We'll see Brewster!"

Jade: "Olympia's slowly getting up from her ringside seat and the ringsiders are anxious to see what's going to happen. In the ring Cam hands Neela an icepick which she uses to dig into Alice's head."

Kim: "Meanwhile on the outside The Mean Girls double cutter Asylum and slowly roll back into the ring. They charge Brewster who grabs them each by the throat and chokeslams them both onto that electrified table."

Melvyn: "Oh god no! She's mauling my Dream Girls! Why isn't the referee doing something to help my dates out! Cam just slides in both a window pane and a piece of sheet metal. Neela covers my Dream Girls with both the window pane and sheet metal while Lynnzilla gets onto the top turnbuckle and she jumps off and....NOOOOOOO! They just killed my Dream Girls!"

Dragonatrix: "Man up Pervy. Lynn and Neela remove the sheet metal and window pane remains revealing two bloodied dream dates who are also unconscious. Both go for the cover but Asylum breaks it up. Lightning finds the icepick and starts carving up Neela while Evil Lynn brains Brewster repeatedly with the chair."

Melvyn: "You're heartless you know that."

Dragonatrix: "I'm a retired wrestler and I know the business."

Mervyn: " Alice gets up slowly and joins in on the action. She belly to belly suplex's Brewster while Erica charges and spears Neela. "

Kim: "The Mean Girls double stomp Neela while Asylum go after Brewster, Alice and Erica. Evil Lynn delivers a series of kicks to the mid-section followed by a series of chops. She DDT's Brewster who gets up and shakes her head in a no sell way. Telling by her expression she is really pissed off."

Jade: "Believe me I've seen that expression many times and it's not a good sign for opponents. The difference is I never backed away from Brewster and vice versa. We just continued to beat each other down into a bloody pulp until one or both of us were in an unrecognizable mess. We both have the battle scars to prove it too. Brewster lets loose with a barrage of elbows to Evil Lynn who seems to be urging her on despite being on rubbery legs."

WWW: "Not anymore because Brewster just delivered a real knock out elbow to Evil Lynn. She drops a leg onto Lightning to save Neela and the match. Alice double clotheslines both Brewster and Neela into the ropes and the sparks and smoke flying tells the whole story of the match taking it's toll on the competitors."

Melvyn: "My Dream Girls just double dropkicked Alice into Lynnzilla and Neela who double clotheslines Alice. They turn their attention to Erica and open up a can of whoop ass. They set up the chairs and the remains of the window pane and Neela goes to the top turnbuckle and Brewster sets Erica up and they spike brainbuster Erica."

Dragonatrix: "It could be over here....One....Two....Th.....No! Erica gets a shoulder up keeping this match going. Erica delivers a desperate low blow to Neela followed by a mule kick to Brewster's crotch. Alice recovers and she comes over and sets Brewster up for a powerbomb onto the table that's still standing."

Kim: "When Erica patents and trademarks this table. She's going to be a rich woman and possibly world champion. She may not have to wrestle anymore since she revolutionized the table's immortality. Erica and Alice make the cover on Brewster who exhibits her power by getting a shoulder up and forcing Erica off of her."

Jade: "You have to respect Brewster's brute strength and believe me I grew to respect her during our ring wars. Erica mounts and grounds and pounds Brewster while Alice does the same to Neela."

Melvyn: "That must bring back memories between these two."

Dragonatrix: "If you mean Alice and Neela they interfered with each other's matches and they haven't forgiven each other since. Asylum double baseball slide dropkicks Alice and they serve her a double heaping of whoop ass. Let's hope the restaurant still has enough cans of whoop ass since it may run out after this match is over."

WWW: "Asylum goes after Erica and they whip her into the ropes and Lightning Frankensteiners her while Evil Lynn cannonballs onto her. She goes for the cover and Erica gets an arm up in a close count. Meanwhile Olympia's pacing back and forth near the ring like a hungry lion watching Brewster."

Kim: "This match has definitely turned into the ultimate war zone and all four are showing it's effects. The Mean Girls get onto the top rope and double missile dropkick Alice and they try to cover her.....One....Two.....T.....No! Alice gets a shoulder up saving this match."

Jade: "Erica's exchanging forearms with The Mean Girls but Brewster double bulldogs both Mean Girls. Erica dropkicks Brewster and then delivers a series of kneedrops. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a Taser and poses as she shows it to the ringsiders and lets Brewster have it."

Melvyn: "looks like Lynnzilla's not getting up anytime soon. Looks like Erica and Alice have this match won....One....Two....No! My Dream Girls save the day. Alice bodyslams Lizzie and then Wendy but Neela hurricanranas Alice and transitions into a cross armbar."

Dragonatrix: "Neela's been adding submissions to her repertoire during her absence. Alice struggles to get to the ropes and gets a leg onto the ropes. Alice and Erica are lucky to be wearing those special Ghostbuster outfits. Electricity proof!"

WWW: "Erica's thought about almost everything for this match. Erica drops a leg on Neela and then finds one of the chairs and places it on the table. She sets Neela up and death valley drivers her onto that chair on the table."

Dragonatrix: "Erica slides onto the table and makes the cover and hooks the leg for a close two count. Erica mounts and grounds and pounds Neela, who counters with a series of knees while shifting her weight and they both slip off the table to the canvas. The Mean Girls pounce on them and start grounding and pounding them viciously."

Melvyn: "Oh if they just had wet t-shirts on doing that. What a fantasy that would be for me to experience. My Dream Girls just whip Neela and Erica into the ropes and they double gore both and go for the cover but Lynnzilla breaks it up."

Jade: "Speaking of Brewster Olympia's still pacing back and forth like a hungry lion. The looks on both their faces is really dangerous and nobody wants to mess with these two in their states of mind...."

Lynn Brewster: "Come on and get what's coming to you!"

Olympia: "When I'm ready Brewster and that may be anytime soon!"

Kim: "Brewster power bomb’s one after the other onto Erica. She makes the cover but Asylum breaks the count. Right now nobody knows the players from the scorecard."

Dragonatrix: "Damned right they can't. It's like a damned demolition tag team wrestling derby. Looks like I was right because Mr. Green just assisted in helping Lightning slide a car bumper and sliding it into the ring. Now I've definitely seen everything used in a wrestling match."

WWW: "Asylum just set that car bumper between the ropes and onto the turnbuckle. Lightning whips Neela into the ropes and Asylum just double hotshot her face and head into the car bumper and she looks like she just got badly burned from it."

Jade: "Neela's going to need real heavy surgery. Erica's back to her feet and is also exhausted as Alice is pummelled by Brewster. She finds the barbed wire baseball bat and whacks Brewster real hard in the back."

Melvyn: "Meanwhile, Alice recovers a bit and she serves up some European uppercuts and some lefts and rights to the Pan Amazon Champion's prime ribs. Erica jabs that barbed wire baseball bat into Lynnzilla's mid-section and proceeds to work on her legs. They whip Lynnzilla into the ropes and she painfully comes off the ropes and is met with a 3D face first onto that table."

Kim: "They pull her off and Alice makes the cover but Cam places Brewster's foot under the ropes saving her and the match. Neela's barely back on her feet and is leaning on that electrified bumper trying to endure the pain from the shocks. Asylum double bodyslams The Mean Girls and goes to the top ropes and executes double flying elbows."

WWW: "Neela charges and cannonballs Lightning and drops an elbow on Evil Lynn breaking the count. Neela grabs Lightning and she takes her over to the car bumper......"

Neela: "You want to have some fun lunatic freak.....!"

WWW: "Yeah you can tell Neela's ticked off about feeling the shocks from that car bumper. She smashes Lightning's head into it and Lightning is bleeding though she's smiling at the sight of her own blood."

Melvyn: "You can tell she's elated and enjoying it since she just licked her hand and smiling at the sight of her own blood. I do agree that Asylum is more bloody crazier than that Psychotic Goth guy. Alice charges Neela who ducks and back bodydrops her sending Alice over the top and onto the hard concrete floor."

Dragonatrix: "Neela launches herself over the top ropes and painfully executes a plancha onto Alice and both are out. Erica's the only one of that team left and she's determined to hold her own against the rest of the competitors including Brewster."

Kim: "Erica's smart and probably can find a way to win even if it's not in any of her variables or equations. So far Olympia's stayed out of the match and has kept her cool and nobody's tried to physically provoke her or tried to provoke us....."

Jade: "You forgot about Lightning's insult before the match began."

Kim: "Don't forget the possibility of someone trying to destroy the commentator's table."

Melvyn: "Who's going to pay for the table if ours is destroyed. Hell going to pay for my Dream Girls injuries."

WWW: "We all know you won't pay anyone back what you owe."

Jade: "Leave that to us if he even tries to weasel his way out of it....."

Kim: "That's because we're the professionals..."

Dragonatrix: "Okay I think he's gotten the message."

WWW: "Looks like Neela and Alice are barely back on their feet but Asylum charges and they fly through the ropes and wipe them out again. They head for this table and I think it's time to abandon table. Looks like we'll find out who pays for the table Melvyn. Meanwhile, Olympia's expression shows she's not impressed by Brewster's performance in this match."

Melvyn: "Asylum places Neela on the table and Lightning holds her down as Evil Lynn gets onto the table dragging Alice with her and she sets her up and powerbombs Alice through the table with Neela."

WWW: "The Hired Killers just grabbed a couple of barbed wire baseball bats and are daring The Mean Girls to take them on. Looks like they really are thinking twice about what they did."

Dragonatrix: "If you had a choice of having your faces bashed in with barbed wire baseball bats and backing off. Then backing off is the better option.

Melvyn: "Thank goodness my Dream Girls are still in one piece for my big dream date. Asylum is pulling the same stunt and both teams aren't backing down. Mr. Green steps in front of Asylum and is pleading with them to get back into the ring."

Mr. Green: "Forget them and win so you can go for the world tag titles."

WWW: "Let's hope they can contain their enthusiasm. Asylum takes it out on Neela and Brewster and The Mean Girls are ganging up on Erica who also has that barbed wire baseball bat. Alice comes up from behind and brains both Mean Girls with another barbed wire baseball bat."

Kim: :Asylum just got tossed over the top ropes by Neela and Brewster. Neela painfully bounds into the ropes and wipes out Asylum. All three are out at the security guard railing. Erica and Alice continue to beat The Mean Girls with those barbed wire baseball bats until Brewster brains them both with that stop sign."

Jade: "At least no one can say this tag team match went quickly from a tag team match into a demolition derby to all out brawl....."

WWW: "You forgot I mentioned that a bit earlier."

Jade: "Not the demolition derby to all out brawl part. Brewster sets up Alice executes a running vicious powerbomb onto that electrified table which by some miracle of science and technology is still standing after all that punishment. Olympia seems to have recovered from The Mean Girls assault......"

Melvyn: "Olympia was getting ready to attack them....."

Jade: "They were trying to go after her first Pervy. Olympia's looking like she's ready to unleash that aggression after that assault on her."

Dragonatrix: "No surprise there. Olympia probably believes it was Brewster who put them up to it. I don't think she did but Olympia has her opinion and so do I. Erica just DDT'd Wendy and is setting up Lizzie for a pedigree when Brewster clubs her from behind with a series of double axehandles."

Lynn Brewster: "How did you enjoy your beating Golden Bitch! You got your just reward!"

WWW: "What was that you were saying about Lynn not putting The Mean Girls up to attacking Olympia. Meanwhile Olympia has reached the limit of her patience...."

Dragonatrix: "Oh you think....."

Melvyn: "If she did put them up to it at least she saved my dream date with The Dream Girls from that mad scientist."

Jade: "Olympia's in the ring and Brewster doesn't even see her. Obviously Brewster's more interested in trying to destroy Erica and eliminate the top contender for her Pan Amazons Championship. Olympia just let loose with a barrage of well placed stiff kicks to that injured leg of Brewster's and Olympia's attempting to and does lift Brewster up and she Olympic Slams her and then cinches in an anklelock."

Kim: "That's what happens when you push your luck. Olympia transitions quickly to a sharpshooter and Brewster's screaming in pain and agony....."

Olympia: "Want to say what you said again! Do you Brewster! Well do you want to repeat it Brewster! You still want to face me again or are you a gutless bitch who sends others to do your dirty work for you! How does it feel! Paybacks a bitch isn't it when you're receiving it!"

WWW: "Olympia's definitely snapped and she wants her revenge on Brewster anyway she can get it. She lets go and helps Brewster up and she's barely standing and Olympia positions herself and she executes a flying scissors kick to Brewster's temples and she's still standing but barely on wobbly legs."

Dragonatrix: "Olympia sees The Mean Girls and she tosses them one by one unceremoniously out of the ring. Erica is barely back on her feet and sees Brewster still on wobbly legs. She stumbles over to Lightning and gives her a jumping stone cold stunner. She slowly rolls and crawls over and covers Lightning and hooks the leg."

Mervyn: "Neela tries to get into the ring to break it up but Olympia prevents her from doing so as the referee counts......One....Two....Three!"

Frank Salazar : "Your winner at 25minutes.....Nerds in Wonderland ... Erica Lindsay Rich and Alice!!!!"

(The theme from the 1984 movie "Ghostbusters" plays as Alice returns to the ring and helps Erica up and the celebrate by dancing like the Ghostbusters as the ringsiders join in on the singing.)

Dragonatrix: "Erica secured her spot as the top contender to the SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Championship but got a little help from Olympia."

Melvyn: "Looks like the losers are having issues with each other and Olympia seems to be having issues with a couple of the teams. Looks like the managers can't control the trouble."

WWW: "Looks like Dragonatrix grabs a microphone and she's steaming mad as she marches with a purpose into the middle of the dispute."

Melvyn: "That's putting it mildly. Hell she could probably mediate anything with that temper of hers."

Dragonatrix: "Stop right now and I mean stop your complaining right now!"

(They stop and look at Dragonatrix.)

Dragonatrix: "First off Mean girls you started it by attacking Evil Lynn and then you have the balls to attack Olympia!"

Wendy : "Brewster put us up to it!"

Brewster : "You lying bitch!"

Olympia : "Who are you calling a lying bitch!"

Dragonatrix: "Back off Olympia and you too Brewster! Anyway, Neela and Cam you went after Mr. Green too!"

Mr. Green: "We want some satisfaction."

Lynn Brewster: "Do we have to remind you again that she assaulted me and cost me the victory!"

Dragonatrix: "Excuse me for not being sympathetic but you didn't exactly help matters by hurling insults and threats at her! You had a tag team match and you blew it by not concentrating on the opponents! Hell you had the match won but you kept blowing it by provoking Olympia! You should know what would happen when you keep trashing fellow wrestlers!"

Lynn Brewster: "So you won't do anything about this!"

Dragonatrix: "First off I don't run SWAT Amazons Delilah Strain does! Second I was appointed to be the liaison and to keep you all in line during the tour and keep you to your itinerary! If you want to go to Delilah and have her straighten this whole mess out! She's backstage and she'll review ever bit of the match! She'll straighten this whole mess out and mete out all punishment. So get your egos in check and we all had better hope she's in good mood especially after all the shenanigans that occurred! Let's go and see her!"

WWW: "Well that proved quite interesting since Dragonatrix is going backstage with them to speak to Mrs. Strain."

Melvyn: "Damned it! My Dream Girls deserved better treatment than what just occurred! This was an injustice. I mean these are my dream dates."

WWW: "Are you still crying and complaining that The Mean Girls lost."

Melvyn: "Yeah they should have won."

WWW: "Give me a break. Speaking of breaks we'll be back with more action when our Best of Both Worlds broadcast continues."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

“Lil Baby Beerus” by VI Seconds begins to play as Tetsuya and Hirmou step out onto the stage, posing for the audience and then walking down the ramp to the ring.

Salazar: The following contest is a Slaughter Houre Rules match. One fall in the center of the ring but otherwise the teams are free to do as they please.

A shot of the ring shows several reservoirs of weapons, a table made of lite tubes, a barbed wire board and other devices surrounding the ring.

Salazar: Making their way to the ring first. At a combined weight of 382 pounds. From Japan. Tetsuya and Hirmou... THE NATURAL BORN ARCHITECTS!!!

Webber: These two are here from Japan, Both using the more Japanese styles of wrestling. Tetsuya a strong style while Hirmou goes for the high flying.

Melvyn: Though you have to ask when tonight's matches can play into the crowing of the champions... how bad must it feel to be put into a match like this? Where you're likely to sustain tremendous amounts of damage throughout.

Webber: Yeah the winners certainly won't be favored for the titles.

Who's The Man blares and Kim Parish walks out to the ramp way, she stands at the top of the ramp then does the tow hand point to the entrance and Menace makes his way out. He storms past her and makes his way down to the ring, the masked monster power walking with purpose and intent..

Salazar: And their opponents. Making his way to the ring accompanied by Kim Parish. Weighing 428 pounds. From Parts Unknown.... One half of Massacre... MENACE!!!

Malvyn: I want to know who this guy thinks he's fooling? We all obviously know who's under the mask.

Webber: Do you really think Pesci would just let him walk back in here so blatantly? Come on.

“For the Damaged Coda” by Blonde Redheads begins to play. A figure in an all black hood and robe walks out. Stepping with the beat as he seems to walk to the ring intently and almost with a trance. Stepping inside he takes his place next to his partner, removing his robe and standing there in his black mask. Hands folded as he just stares at his opponents.

Salazar: And his partner. Weighing 219 pounds... from the hearts of the damned... MALYCE!!!

Webber: If you know who Menace is then you must know who this is as well.

Melvyn: Well... honestly this one I don't. He's come completely out of nowhere to support Soutter.. I mean Menace.

DING DING

Menace and Hirmour square off. The larger Menace lunging at the him, who quickly ducks under the grab and starts to strike at his back. Menace is mostly uneffected by this. Turning and hitting a side elbow in retaliation. Making Hirmou stagger back from him.

Webber: Hirmou is going to have to rely more on his speed against Menace.

Melvyn: Yeah just trying to outstrike someone twice your size against the broad of his back won't work.

Tetsuya approaches the smaller Malyce, who hasn't moved even upon his approach. Confused for a moment Tetsuya just stands at the ready as Malyce stares at him. He does a fake out seeing if he could get him to flinch, but he doesn't. He turns like he's going to go help is partner, but then quickly turns around and hits a running kick to Malyce's chest, forcing him back to the corner. Tetsuya grabs him by the mask and throws him over the top rope, making him land on the apron. He goes to grab again, but Malyce quickly takes hold of Tetsuya's head and then falls, Pulling him throat first across the top rope. Instead of letting go He hangs there, holding on and making Tetsuya kick as he's being choked on the rope. Then lets go.

Webber: Malyce just seeming to take the initial blow from Tetsuya.

Melvyn: Yeah, but that retaliation was nothing to scoff at. He just choked him out on the rope.



Himrou ducks a few more attacks from Menace and then slides between his legs and out of the ring. Instead of prosuing Menace turns around and rushes and catches Tetsuya in the corner, clothesling him against the turnbuckle. He hits a headbutt against Tetsuya and the man falls down. Menace calls out to Malyce who tosses him a Kendo Stick from one of the weapon piles and then proceedes to throw a couple of chairs and a trash can into the ring as well. While doing this Himrou hops up onto the arpon again and takes a running crossbody off of it onto Malyce.

Webber: One may think the best stratgegy for the Natural Born Architects is to concentrate on Malyce. The smaller man is far easier for them to take down without high risk moves or weapons.

Melvyn: You can't just ignore Paul, though. The guy isn't going to just let you win. You can only outmaneuver him for so long.

Menace slams the knedo stick down a few time across Tetsuya's back. Making him scream out in pain each time. Himrou gets up from taking down Malyce and rushes into the ring. Running up toe menace. He see's him coming and swings at the new assailant, but ducks the shot again. He quickly reaches out and shoves a tumb in the eye of the big man to blind them. And then hits a standing drop kick directly to the kendo stuck, thructing it against the upper chest of Menace and knocking him off his feet.

Webber: A bit of a cheap tactic on the part of Himrou, but it's perfectly legal in this contest.

Melvyn: Almost required, one would say.

After, he helps Tetsuya up. Getting him the trash can and pointing to Menace. Then he turns to see Malyce up again. He runs to the edge of the ring and jump over, landing on the apron before going for a springboard moonsault. He lands on Malyce's shoulder, but he doesn't fall. Instead, catching Hirmou and then running to slam his back into the edge of the ring with a loud thud. He turns and then body slams him down into the barbed wire board.

Webber: A reversal by Malyce and then he deposits Hirmou into the barbed wire.

Melvyn: Worst place to be. You have to untangle yourself from that.

Tetsuya places the trash can onto Menace's chest and runs off the ropes. What move he would do would have been interruprted by Menace tossing the trash can back at Tetsuya. He managed to catch it, but Menace then kicks the can crushing it against Tetsuya. He falls back dropping it.

Melvyn: I guess that didn't keep him down.

Webber: There is certainly a strength and endurance to Menace. Not to mention of his team he is the one that has taken the least amount of damage. Malyce seeming almost willing to take the brunt of any attack.

Menace climbs back to his feet and comes running at Tetsuya again, who ducks him. Running to the other ropes and coming off to run at Menace again. Menace ducks and then lefts Tetsuya, sending him flying over the top ropes and coming down through the table made of light tubes. The glass tubes exploding under him in almost a violent deadly powder.

Webber: And Tetsuya may not recover from that the rest of this match. We can see on his arms some cuts already bleeding from the glass he just went through.

Melvyn: Maybe, if we're lucky, some got in Pauly's eyes.

Malyce managed to seperate Hirmou from the barbed wire board. Cuts on his clothing and scratches on his skin. He lobs a few shots to him in the face and then rolls into the ring.

Webber: Looks like Malyce may be trying to feed Hirmou to Menace.

Malyce rolls back into the ring as Menace is pulling Hirmou back to his feet and lifts him up over his shoulder so his head is laying across his chest. He looks ready to deliver a move when Malyce puts a hand up like he's saying to stop. Then does a double thumb across his throat and points to the corner.

Webber: Trying to signal something it seems.

Melvyn: I'll fully admit with these tornado rules this is the first time these two have acted as a team.

Malyce grabs a chair and walks to the nearest corner. Climbing up and standing in the coern. Menace turns and delivers a sit out piledriver to Hirmou.

Melvyn: Oh that looks familiar. The Soutter Special.

Menace is quick to get out of the way. Malyce proceeds to hold the chair to his chest and then leaps off. Hitting a shooting star press with the chair between the two of them. Malyce rolls off clutching his stomach as Menace then pins Himrou.

1....



2...



3!!!

DING DING DING

Salazar: Here are your winners... MASSACRE!!!!

Melvyn: Should be disqualified. There is now way you're going to keep doubting who that is under the mask.

Webber: Because no one else has ever done that move before.

Melvyn: You're in denial.

Webber: Regardless Menace and Malyce win their debut match.

The scene opens on the backstage area where we see Avery being looked over by the ring doctor. He looks over the few mark that are on her face and arms before he steps back.

Doctor: Everything looks alright. You just have a few bruises.

Avery: That's good to know. So I'm clear for the rest of the night then?

Doctor: Yes. You're cleared.

Avery hops down from the table and smiles looking at herself in the mirror seeing bruise starting to form on her face. She shrugs and heads out into the hallway, and runs into Glorious Glenda. She smiles as Avery stops in her tracks.

Glorious Glenda: Just the lady I was looking for.

Avery: Really? What do you need Glenda?

Glorious Glenda: I wanted to get a word from you about your match earlier tonight.

Avery: Sure thing. I have to admit that it went well.

Glorious Glenda: That it did. You and Linda did well so far tonight. You have some competition ahead of you here tonight. How do you think you ill do tonight?

Avery: Well... I know we still have to dig through the trash to get to the top tonight and take the tag titles but I know that we can do this. It's a tough fight but it's nothing that I haven't been through before.

Glorious Glenda: I'm sure you have. You don't seem to have any issues with facing off against the guys that could make it to the main event. Do you think that will give you the advantage here tonight?

Avery: It might. But Linda and I are a team and the two of us are going to make sure that we get those tag titles no matter what we have to do.

Glorious Glenda: You sound very confident.

Avery nods and smiles softly.

Avery: That's because I know that my partner won't let me down, and I won't let her down. Now if you excuse... I better go and find her. You have a good night Glenda.

With that Avery walks off leaving Glenda in the hallway as the scene fades to black.

Warren W Webber : Ok folks, coming up next, we have the Anzac Cup winners, Better Than Sex going up against Jacob McCray & D C Tucker? In a European Death Match?

Melvyn : That’s correct Waz. What a win that was for Better Than Sex in the Anzac Cup, man, this Viper, he wins everything, the Cup, the Royal Rumble, the Haunted House match for my old boss Adrian Tanners will. He is THE MAN here in SWAT. Hell, EVERYWHERE!

Warren W Webber : He has had quite the year. Quite the career, but every man has his day, and on any given night, anyone can beat anyone in this business.

Melvyn : Come on Waz. Don’t pull that rubbish with me, they should just skip this match, and advance Better Than Sex straight to the final, heck, just give them the belts, they DID win the Cup!

Warren W Webber : That was for the Cup, and this is for the gold.

Melvyn : Look Waz. In this business, and in this world, there are winners, and there are losers. Vile vince Viper. Spike Nelson. They are winners. McCray & Tucker? Is that who they are facing?

Warren W Webber : That it is.

Melvyn : Is Tucker any relation to my old colleague and commentator Jeremy?

Warren W Webber : I don’t think so.

Melvyn : Lucky for him.

Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A EUROPEAN DEATH MATCH AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL.

I know from Kiss hits and Doc Wilson & Flamboyant Red make there way to the ring, they look confident and ready to battle.

The opening to White Zombie's More Human Than Human starts to pump over the loud speakers, the house lights dimming as a woman moans loudly.


The moaning quickly stops, a scratching sound cutting to the Teddybear's Cobrastyle, as white fireworks explode from the entranceway. As the house lights come up, there are a dozen exhibitionists in snake body paint on stage contorting around explicitly enough for the broadcaster to drop SWAT, but managing to cover all the naughty bits up so as to not get this segments designer in trouble. ...suck it.

Frank Salazar : And their opponents ...

BETTER
THAN
SEX
WITH
VILE VINCE VIPER
AND
SIMPLY AMAZING SPIKE NELSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With the announcement of Better Than Sex, some orange fireworks explode, causing all the snake models to stop their lewd exchanges. Spike Nelson dives through the entrance curtains in sync with a second round of red fire works; while a subdued Vile "Vince" Viper calmly struts out in sync with the music. The snake models prance down the aisle, throwing flower petals at the feet of the greatest tag team of all time.

Warren W Webber : Wow, that was quite the entrance. These fans here in Russia going absolutely beserk for Vile vince Viper, he is like a hero to these people.

Melvyn : I would expect nothing less.

Warren W Webber : Referee Bo Brady calls for the bell and we are underway. Tucker and McCray slide to the outside and go under the ring and come up with a tray of plunder.

Melvyn : Viper is leaning against the ref watching them, condescendingly, Spike brushes past his grandfather, bounces off the ropes and hits a beautiful handspring elbow flip over the top rope and takes out both Tucker and McCray!

Warren W Webber : Vile encouraging him from the ring, like a soccer mum grandparent. Spike smiles at the praise and rolls Tucker in. Vile grabs him in a full nelson and Spike grabs a cookie tray from the plunder and clocks Tucker across the head.

Melvyn : Vile stomping viciously now on Tucker. Spike grabs McCray and snap swinging neck breakers him onto the guard rail.

Warren W Webber : Referee admonishing Vile for his stomps, and Vile puts his arm around him and tells him it is a Death match. Meanwhile he really is distracting him so Spike can enter the ring and is now choking out Tucker. Why the distraction, as he pointed out it’s a death match and anything goes. He doesn’t need to distract the ref.

Melvyn : He LIKES to do it this way Waz.

Warren W Webber : Vile is distracting Brady and explaining to him that in a Death match anything goes, especially a STOMP, meanwhile Spike Nelson is choking the life out of Tucker.

Melvyn : BEELZEBOZO! He is not booked tonight!

Warren W Webber : Beelz comes up and nails Spike with a balloon morning star! He just knocked his lights out! Whats he doing here?

Melvyn : He hates Vile! There is hate and there is hate, and interfering against the likes of these two opponents, that is just crossing all lines Waz.

Warren W Webber : Man, that Morning star balloon was devastating! Spike Nelson hasn’t moved!

Melvyn : Beelze slides out of the ring, and is hiding, Tucker somehow drapes an arm over Nelson, Brady pushes past Vile and drops to make the count, Vile looking on in shock.

Warren W Webber : One .................................. Two ................................ Vile breaks the count with a stomp to the back of Tucker.

Melvyn : Vile is irate. He is looking down at Spike with disgust. He signals it’s all over, and goes for the Satan’s Strut!

Warren W Webber : NO! Beelze trips Vile with barb wire from the outside, Vile clutches at his shin where the wire gashed him.

Melvyn : Not the shin!

Warren W Webber : McCray seizes the opportunity and timely springboards into the ring, hitting Vile with a springboard leg drop, covers .............. One ....................... (Vile grabbing at the shin, McCray hooks the leg) ........... Two ................ Vile rolls the shoulder.

Melvyn : Vile kicked OUT! Beelze grimaces at the kick out, and Viper see’s him, and sees red!

Warren W Webber : Viper pushes McCray off him like he was a piece of paper, and running charges over the ropes at Beelze! Beelze was making a run for it thru the crowd, and Vile speared him as he was going over the barrier and both sprawl into the crowd!

Melvyn : Now this is something! Vile Vince Viper Vs Beelzebozo! Didn’t think we were going to see THIS here tonight in Russia!

Warren W Webber : Spike see’s them fighting on the outside and runs to help his grandfather.

Melvyn : Beelze and Vile are duking it out up thru the crowd to the next level, and Spike trying to help Vile, he smashes Beelze with a steel chair, and the momentum forces both Vile and Beelze to topple thru the grandstand and fall down a level to the rampway.

Warren W Webber : Spike Nelson standing on the edge of the balcony and looking down at the fallen Vile and Beelze, he feels the moment and mounts the ledge ... launches!

Melvyn : Spike with a shooting star press! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Warren W Webber : Attila Balan! The Industrial Man comes out and pulls Beelzebozo up off of Vile! Spike just splashed his own grandfather!

Melvyn : Balan! What are you doing?!

Warren W Webber : Balan looks around like he heard the question, gesturing helping his best friend Beelzebozo (if he could compute a best friend that is).

Melvyn : McCray and Tucker are in the ring, and they are looking pretty stoked with someone else beating the tar out of their opponents.

Warren W Webber : Balan picks up Beelze on one shoulder, and Spike on the other, man, is he strong, robot like strength.

Melvyn : He starts heading thru the ramp way to the back, and gets to his car and places Spike in there. Is he kidnapping Spike?

Warren W Webber : Balan places a seat belt on Spike!

Melvyn : He IS kidnapping him!

Warren W Webber : Safety first Melv.

Melvyn : Safety? That’s a restraint! Spike is coming too and feverishly trying to undo the belt but it seems locked. Balan takes Beelze to the other door! YES!!!

Warren W Webber : Viper with the chair, levels Balan! He cracks him again, and again and AGAIN! This Russia crowd going nuts here watching on the tron.

Melvyn : Vile then jumps in the car, starts it up, and floors it out of here, escaping with Spike!

Warren W Webber : What about the match?

Melvyn : Ref is watching on in the ring with McCray and Tucker ... and he calls for the bell ... what the ... ?

Warren W Webber : Referee Bo Brady raises the arms of Tucker and McCray! They are advancing! They just defeated Better Than Sex!

Melvyn : Thanks to Funny Business!

Warren W Webber : A wins a win. Better Than Sex are OUT of the Final. Things have just opened up big time here as to who will be our first champs.

Melvyn : My money is NOT on these two in the ring.

Warren W Webber : Folks, we’ll be right back with the last qualifying match, the scaffold match!

[The scene opens up in the lockeroom of "The Jersey Devil Diva" Joanne Cannelli. Glorious Glenda walks in through the lockeroom door to get an interview with the "Don of Chianti".]

Glorious Glenda: Joanne, can we get a few words from you?

Joanne Cannelli: Yeah, sure what do you want? Make it quick, I'm a busy woman.

Glorious Glenda: The SWAT World Tag Team Titles are on the line tonight yet you weren't even booked in a qualifying match. Why is that?

Joanne Cannelli: It's called "Tag Team" and incase you haven't noticed both my Chianti partners, Candice and Joey Morelli, are on the shelf until they get cleared to come back. Who else was I going to team with...Reno or Rude? Or better yet how about our Owner Joe Pesci? GET OUTTA' here with that.

Glorious Glenda: Speaking of SWAT Owner, Joe Pesci, did you see what happened to him at the beginning of the show at the hands of Menace?

Joanne Cannelli: Yeah, I saw what "The Suit" Paul Soutter, the FORMER owner of SWAT I might add, did to Joe. He's only got 800 lbs. on Joe so what do you expect?

Glorious Glenda: Are you afraid--

Joanne Cannelli: Let me cut you off right there. (she glares at Glenda staring a hole right through her) Do I look afraid? Do I look intimated? Have I ever looked afraid or intimated, Glenda?

Glorious Glenda: Noooo.

Joanne Cannelli: Good answer sweet pea. Besides with Reno and Rude watching the door what do I have to worry about?

Glorious Glenda: Um..

Joanne Cannelli: Um, what? Spit it out Glenda I already told you once I am a busy business woman...Don't make me tell you a third time!

[She once again gives Glenda the death stare.]

Glorious Glenda: Rude and Reno weren't at the door when we came in--

Joanne Cannelli: What are you talking about? They only take orders from me. Of course they are out there watching the door and my back. That's what I pay those two goons for. Look, I'll prove it.

[Joanne goes to the lockeroom door and opens it. She looks slowly to the left, then the right. Reno and Rude are nowhere to be found. The door closes behind Joanne. She looks to the left again when suddenly she gets double speared through the door and into the her room by The Mean Girls, Wendy Bliss and Lizzy. Lizzy and Wendy both start firing lefts and rights as they land on Joanne and the door. They get up and slap each other five standiing over Joanne.]

Lizzy: I'm the REAL "Jersey Devil Diva" around here..not you!

Wendy: That's right..Elmwood, Jersey in the house!

Lizzy: The Means Girls mean business too Joanne. We aren't sore losers..We just don't like to lose. (She laughs)

Wendy: Let's show her how business is NOW done that The Mean Girls have entered the SWAT Amazons division!

[They lift Joanne up by her hair and she tries to fight back but two on one is just too much. Glenda tries to intervene but she gets tossed aside for her efforts. Wendy brings Joanne over to a table the tv monitor is setting on and gets her into a Pile Driver position. Lizzy holds Joanne's legs in an attempt to spike her through the table. Before they succeed "The Diva of All Diva's" Candice Morelli comes flying into the room to make the save. She kicks Lizzy in the gut then Bull Dogs her as Wendy has to set Joanne down. Wendy and Candice begin to brawl with Candice getting the better of the exchange. Lizzy gets up and kicks Candice off of Wendy who was Thez Pressed Wendy to the ground by Candice. Lizzy helps Wendy up and the two quickly take off and disappear. Candice helps Joanne up who is holding her ribs in pain.]

Candice Morelli: You okay?

Joanne Cannelli: Yeah, thanks to you. Where the hell was Rude and Reno?

Candice Morelli: Last I saw they ran into the bathroom after eating tainted lasagne from catering.

Joanne Cannelli: Those two morons. This was an obvious set up by that wannabe "Suit", Paul Soutter.

Candice Morelli: The good news is I've officially been cleared to wrestle.

Joanne Canelli: Yes! Next show it's on! Time for Chianti to show those Mean Girls what "The Family" is all about.

[They smile and shake hands as the scene fades to the commenters for the next match.]

“I do not care what you say, there is no way i am not entering that ring.” States Lucky Linda in her heavy Irish accent. She is in the back and being attended by a Doctor, he is examining her neck after the choking in the earlier match.

“I don’t think we can clear you to wrestle Linda. You have sustained severe bruising and damage to your aesopha “

“Just stop right there Doc.” Interrupts Linda. “This is a very important match. For the first time ever, women are competing for the WORLD Tag Team Championships, and i intend to be part of it, not just part of it either, i intend to WIN”

“I am afraid that is not going to be possible.” States the doctor empathetically.

“Whoa.” States Joe Pesci walking into the office. “Whats this all about then?”

“Well” States the Doctor. “This lady is very lucky indeed, she has suffered severe dama ... “

“This quack is trying to prevent me from entering the main event Mr Pesci.” Linda is becoming agitated now.

“Let me handle this.” States Joe calmly. “Doc .... You’re fired.”

“What?” Demands the Doc incredulously.

“Fired. Kaput. Boned. Hit the bricks.” Joe turns his back leaving the room. “Good LUCK in the Main Event ‘Lucky’ Linda” Joe yells over his shoulder as he is leaving.

“I .... I .... I’m sorry” Stammers Linda to the Doc. “That was not my intention.”

“Ohhhh ... you didn’t intend it. Thats all fine and dandy then.” Mutters the Doc sarcastically. “You best look after yourself out there, because you risk serious damage competing again tonight.”
“I got this doc!” States Linda confidently “The Irish Rose bombshells are walking out of Russia SWAT World Tag Team Champions!”

[Better Than Sex continue to drive off like Thelma & Louise... listening to the results of the show over the radio. Spike seems distant... upset.]

Vile “Vince” Viper: What’s bothering you boy? If it’s about that Squirrel, it just ran in front of me... I couldn’t avoid it.

[Vile turns to the cameraman in the backseat, flashing his pearly yellows. He definitely COULD have swerved for it! What a dick. While VVV is pandering he rams into other unfortunate animals - the circle of life.]

Spike Nelson: ...I... it’s... I really wanted to win those tag titles with you, Grandpa.

[Then it’s too bad we were booked against Tum, the one man who can always beat us.]

Vile “Vince” Viper <smile fades="">: Don’t worry Spike... BroCode will get theirs.

[Letting go of the wheel, so that the car is moving blind, even as Vile still has his foot on the gas, the king of snakes shifts to the camera again. Cutting a promo with mail boxes, garbage cans, bushes, and pedestrians bouncing off his window. It’s a good thing their in Russia, where VVV can’t get arrested if he tries. Oh how he tries.]

Vile “Vince” Viper: You think your funny clown? Strike out at me where it hurts? TWO can play at that game. You want to take a belt from my family, I’ll take one from yours. I’ve been beating all challengers since getting here but never cashed in. Attila Balan... you and me... International Incident - for the International strap! And just because the clown is REALLY asking for a complex, I’m going to talk to Pesci about making it a little trust exercise! TOWEL MATCH! I know if I’m in trouble, Spike will put my well being first...

Spike Nelson: Thanks Gr—-

Vile “Vince” Viper: Not now, Spike. <back to="" promo=""> Can you say the same about the clown, Balan?

[Bam.]

Vile “Vince” Viper: I didn’t think ssso.

[The challenge is laid down.]</back></smile>