Down Under Derby 2003

[The scene opens up to show a packed Royal Melbourne Showgrounds Arena in Melbourne Australia. The Power and the Passion by Midnight Oil hits, and an expensive pyro display goes off. The lights all go out, and the Aus - Tron shows up with various shots and footage of the Ring Syndicate Australia superstars, including various shots of Adam Seven, Nick Cairo and "Triple B" Big Bad Bill all battling each other in the round robin singles series they just had, there is also a shot of Adam Seven leaving Nick Cairo to the Hellhounds. Some shots of The Hellhounds and The Goodfella's battling out, and then Commissioner Brown stopping there match and booking the no hold barred match for the ppv. A shot of Commissioner Brown and Ruthless L Reeve getting in each others faces, starting with Reeve's debut, and ending with Brown laughing while the Hellhounds double team Reeve. There is also a couple of shots of Mars and Jake Porter, Zeus and Hero, and Bloody Martyr and The Incredible Y. Clip finishes with a shot of Incredible Y unmasking to reveal none other than Syberus, and then a three way split screen showing Nick Cairo, Triple B Big Bad Bill, and Adam Plummer each.]

[The camera then pans around the arena, and the fans are jumping up and down, going wild. They are holding up there signs, some of which include: "Down Under Derby = DuD", "The Matt Boone Press Corps", "Triple B, Champion of Pre-Teen Suicide Cases Worldwide", "Goodfellas beat The Hellhounds? Forget About It", "Jake Porter Fears Background Checks", "Incredible Y, Put the Mask Back On", "So Long Brown", "My Hero", "Martyr = Crazy", "Goodfella's rule" and "Plummer No 1!" ]

Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! WELCOME TO THE DOWN UNDER DERBY!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Thanks a lot Frank. Wow, what a night, our first PPV here in Australia under the Ring Syndicate banner, i am Jacked!

Andrew Fulton : Yeah, and look who we have back with us tonight, why, its good old Toby Navel, how you doing old pal?

Toby Navel : Whats gotten into you Fulton?

Andrew Fulton : Nothing's gotten into me, I'm just surprised to see you here with us is all, i mean, you did walk out last week on No Mans Land promising to never come back!

Toby Navel : Well, i may of been a little rash.

Andrew Fulton : Certainly not, you were fully justified, heck, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did. No thanks to you Jerry!

Jeremy Tucker : ME?

Toby Navel : Yes you! I'll tell you Tucker, you sure do have a smart mouth on you, you could do a lot worse than take some advice from Andrew here!

Jeremy Tucker : Are you feeling allright Toby, i have done nothing but my best to make you feel welcome around here!

Toby Navel : What a joke that one is! You treated me like the god damned work experience kid, but not any more, F*** THAT!

Jeremy Tucker : Toby!

Toby Navel : Save it Jerry, I'm not going to be bullied by the likes of you any longer!

Andrew Fulton : Good for you To.....

Toby Navel : You either Fulton, you may be a disgusting sexist pig, but you will respect me while i am working with you dammit!

Andrew Fulton : Disgusting sexist pig? I'm not disgusting!

[“Place your hands” by Reef starts to play, and the crowd give a loud pop, because they now know who this guy is…

The music plays for a moment, and the lyrics kick in…

Oh place your hands, on my hope,
Run your fingers through my soul,
And the way that I feel right now,
Oh Lord it may go.

So place your hands, on my hope,
Run your fingers through my soul,
And the way that we feel right now,
Oh Lord it may go.

As this is playing, Syberus is making his way down the ramp, smiling at the crowd. He’s dressed in the Incredible Y gear (black denim shorts with a red Y on the left leg, black pads and black boots.) but without, of course, the mask.]

Frank Salazar: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, entering first… from New York City, New York, weighing in at 230 pounds… The Incredible Y… SYBERUS!”

[Syberus climbs into the ring and poses on the top turnbuckle for the crowd.]

Jeremy Tucker : There he is folks, the man behind the mask! Syberus!

Toby Navel : What a way to kick off the ppv, with the uCw World heavyweight Champ, going up against one of our top rising stars here in Australia in Bloody Martyr.

[The music to "Knee Deep in the Dead" by Lollipop Lust Kill begins with the original intro...The arena goes black, the Aus - Tron dark. Suddenly we hear on the speakers, "What's going on here?" and the Aus - Tron lights up with a flaming 'A' in a circle. When the reply hits, "Murder, want some?" the Aus - Tron grows a little lighter, and we see the Anarchy symbol is on the front of an open hand...boney, sickly, almost deathly looking hand. When the music begins, the hand closes over the symbol, and the entire screen flashes brightly then goes dark. Once the heavy riffs begin, two jets of bright red pyro form an X at the top of the ramp. When the fire goes away, Martyr is standing at the top of the ramp, right where the pyro had met. Black smoke pours from the pyro vents, leaking down the ramp. Martyr's arms are outstretched, in a crucified position. his head is down, and his face almost covered in shadows. He begins to walk down the ramp, slowly, his arms dropping to his side. He doesn't show off to the crowd, he just.. walks. When he gets to the ring, he flips over the top rope and lands on his feet, arms back out in a crucified position. The lyrics finally begin when he gets into the center of the ring, "Come on everybody lets go to the show..." then the song ends, and Martyr is left standing there.]

Toby Navel : And there he is, the newest raving lunatic to sign up in Australia!

Jeremy Tucker : Crazy he may be, but lets see how he goes in the ring.

Toby Navel : Referee Nick Tsalazidis calls for the bell, and we are under way with both men circling each other. Martyr goes to tie up, but Syberus ducks under him, then slaps him full across the face!

Andrew Fulton : There's a wake up call for ya!

[Martyr looks on at Syberus in shock, and Syberus gets up in his face, and starts bad mouthing him, poking him in the chest.]

Jeremy Tucker : Standing dropkick ...

Toby Navel : BIG TIME Standing Dropkick there from Martyr to the Syberus!

Jeremy Tucker : I had it covered Toby.

Toby Navel : Ohh will you stop your whining Jerry, we are meant to be a team, but all you seem to be worried about is that YOU had it covered, you, you you, get over yourself, and realize that we are a team, and this place will run a lot smoother!

Andrew Fulton : Ha! Looks like he told you Jerry, you damn glory hound!

[Fulton chuckles away, and Jerry stares daggers at him, as Martyr picks up Syb and plants him with a nice bulldog, then drills him with a tornado ddt.]

Jeremy Tucker : Martyr taking over control of this one, looks like Syb may of under estimated him wouldn't you agree Toby?

Toby Navel : No, i wouldn't agree. To tell you the truth, i could care less who wins out of these two clowns, and I'm considering getting in there myself right now to just finish this one off as fast as i can.

Jeremy Tucker : What the hell has gotten into you Toby, you've changed man!

Toby Navel : Damn straight i have, you pushed me over the edge Jerry, with all your cheap shots about me being the new guy, well not anymore, not this guy!

[Martyr tosses Syb into the ropes, but Syb bounces off with a purpose, and takes Martyr down with a Lou Thesz press.]

Jeremy Tucker : Huge Lou Thesz press there by Syberus, and he is following it up with some hard punches.

Andrew Fulton : Whats with this Syberus? He is under a mask for months here in Australia, and less than a week before the "big" ppv, and what does he do, up and takes of the mask out of no where! No sense of theatre i tell ya!

Toby Navel : Pre mature ejaculation in all its glory!

[Syberus with a big clothesline, and then a Side Russian leg sweep.]

Jeremy Tucker : Syberus now seems to be in control, he goes to whip Martyr into the ropes, but Martyr reverses, and ...

Toby Navel : SPEAR!

Jeremy Tucker : Martyr with the spear there, and Syb looks to be hurt.

Andrew Fulton : Martyr looks like he could do with some sun, he is so white, it looks like he just saw a ghost.

Jeremy Tucker : Martyr with a flying cross body, but Syb ducks under it!

Toby Navel : Syberus playing possum there!

[Syberus goes to work on the legs of Martyr, and then puts him in a Texas clover leaf.]

Jeremy Tucker : Syb said he was going to make Martyr tap, and he is now going for it.

Toby Navel : Referee Nick Tsalazidis down in position asking Martyr if he gives, but Martyr reaches over and grabs a handful of Syb's hair, pulling him over into a pinning predicament.

Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............... 2 ........................ (Syb breaks the hold and the count.)

Jeremy Tucker : What a way to kick of The Down Under Derby! This one could go either way!

Toby Navel : Martyr takes Syb down with a nice head scissors take down, then nails him with a nice spinning heel kick, and he then runs and bounces of the ropes, nailing a Asai Moonsault!

Jeremy Tucker : Bloody Martyr hanging on for the cover!

Nick Tsalazidis : 1 .................... 2 ...................... (Kick out by Syb.)

Toby Navel : Close call there. This Bloody Martyr is really showing me something here.

Andrew Fulton : He's ok, what i want to see is him and Christian Sebastian Kennedy going at it. He should be back any day now, and them two will either be the best of friend, or the worst of enemies, or maybe even both!

Toby Navel : Maybe they can help each other out with the self mutilating.

Jeremy Tucker : Syb getting to his feet, HIGHLIGHT CUTTER!

Toby Navel : Syb hit him with that from out of no where!

Jeremy Tucker : Syberus now signaling to the crowd with the Incredible Y sign, and he nails Martyr with a devastating powerbomb!

Toby Navel : Its all over!

Jeremy Tucker : No, Syb not going for the cover, instead he is shaking his head, and then signals for the Pure Confidence!

Toby Navel : Thats his finisher!

[Single underhook Inverted DDT (Edgecution) ]

Jeremy Tucker : Now its over Toby! Ha!

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............................. 2 .......................... 3!!!!

[“Place your hands” by Reef hits.]

Frank Salazar : Your winner, SYBERUS!!!!

------------

Toby Navel: Here’s our *ahem* number one contender match…

Jeremy Tucker: Two of the more outspoken superstars here in RSA hook up to decide who the top contender is for the Australian Heavyweight Title.

Andrew Fulton: Wake me when it’s over…

["“Sabotage”" by Beastie Boys plays over the
loudspeakers.]

Jeremy Tucker: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, at 6'6" and weighing 255 lbs., here is ....
JAKE PORTER !!!!

[The arena goes dark, and white spotlight shines in the middle of the rampway, and then Jake Porter walks onto the spotlight and the arena lights up in a nice dazzling display of colors. Porter walks down and slides into the ring. He goes to the furthest turnbuckle and leans backwards on the turnbuckles a la DDP.]

Toby Navel: What an asshat…

Jeremy Tucker: Quiet you.

(‘Unholy’ by KISS hits…
The house lights dim as ‘Unholy begins to play softly over the PA system. The volume keeps growing louder, until the lyrics begin.)

[]
[[Chained slaves to their cages]]
[]
[[I’m the cycle of pain]]
[[Of a thousand year old reign]]

(The tron begins to show images of bloody battles that advance through several time periods.
Smoke and fog begin to billow from under the ramp.
A single red spotlight shines down through the fog to the top of the ramp.
Mars appears in the center of the light bathed in an eerie darkness.)

[[I’m suicide and salvation]]
[[The omen to nations]]
[[That you worship on all fours]]
[[I’m the infection and famine]]
[[That’s knocking at your door]]

(As the spotlight fades and the house lights come up the fog and smoke can be seen rolling towards the ring.)

[[That’s why you’re feeling so…]]

(Mars steps down the ramp towards the ring. A chorus of boos and jeers begin. Mars threatens the fans as he walks towards the ring, which brings even more reactions from the fans.)

[[Unholy]]
[[Oh. I was created by man, you know I’m…]]
[[Unholy]]
[[Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah]]

(Mars stops at ringside points to his opponent and does a throat slashing gesture before climbing into the ring.)

Toby Navel: Could this guy be more of a joke?

Andrew Fulton: Porter mark.

Toby Navel: Shut up. Both these clowns can blow me.

Jeremy Tucker: That’s too bad. Anyway, Porter doesn’t even wait for the bell as he jumps Mars with a sinus-cleansing clothesline. He’s going to try and end this early.

Andrew Fulton: Good.

Toby Navel: Andrew, just go ahead and take your nap. I’ll hold the fort down…

Andrew Fulton: Whatevs. See ya in the funny papers… (He actually removes his headset and lays down on the floor.)

Jeremy Tucker: Meanwhile, Porter continues his attack with a series of elbows across the throat of the fallen Mars. If he can keep the big man off his vertical base, this should be easy.

TobyNavel: Vertical base? Man, you suck… Feet. If Porter keeps Mars off his feet, he’ll have an easy time. Keep it concise. Less is more and such.

Jeremy Tucker: I liked it better when you were gone… Mars back up as Porter poses on the turnbuckle. Mars pulls him down, nails him with a couple of forearms to the back of his head, and brings him out of the corner with a HUGE choke toss.

Toby Navel: Well, it’s the Big…

Jeremy Tucker: Stop it. Porter holding his back as Mars scoops him up and plants him with a quick slam.

Toby Navel: The ropes groan as the deity comes off, looking for a super huge mega-elbow…

Jeremy Tucker: Mars winds up, but nobody home as his elbow drop hits nothing but canvas. Jake quickly up to his feet, and flattens the seated Mars with a rolling neck snap. Leg drop, and a quick cover…

Referee Alistair MacCutcheon (adjusting his striped kilt so as not to offend the lasses): One… (Mars kicks out with authority)

Toby Navel: That official is disturbing. The garden-variety psychopath is back to his “vertical base”, and is pounding the Jakester with a bunch of closed fists. Here’s an Irish whip…

Jeremy Tucker: Mars catches Porter in a bear hug!!! This could do it… Those huge arms of Mars are squeezing the life out of Jake…

Toby Navel (yawning): Any room down there, Fulton?

Jeremy Tucker: Oh no you don’t! I’m not calling this cra… I mean, exhilarating matchup on my own! Porter fading slowly as Mars cinches the hug in even tighter…

[Silence]

Toby Navel: So, uh, should we plug NML or something? Dead air is bad for business, man… Jeremy?

Jeremy Tucker: Ah, poobytrip… Uh, what’s… Oh, wait, Alistair’s checking Porter’s arm…

Alistair: Are ye out already, ya wee li’l puke? (lifts arm, it falls) There’s one… (arm falls a second time…)

Toby Navel: Worst. Match. Ever.

Jeremy Tucker: Wait!!! Porter keeps his arm up on the third try and elbows his way out of the hold!

Toby Navel: Fantastic.

Jeremy Tucker: Standing dropkick by Jake staggers Mars, and Porter whips him into the corner, follow…

Toby Navel: And eats boot. Dumbass…

Jeremy Tucker: Mars back on the offensive now, looking for a powerbomb…

Toby Navel: But Porter reverses out and nails the Stoner Drop. Alright, put this snoozefest away…

Jeremy Tucker: Jake going up top… He waits for Mars to get back up, and comes off with a flying crossbody, but Mars catches him in midair with a devastating powerslam!!! The momentum has changed again!

Toby Navel: I would hardly call this a momentum change. Dammit, we’ll be here all night…

Jeremy Tucker: Porter struggles to his feet, and gets his head taken off by a running big boot!!! Mars has taken control of this contest, and he goes for another powerbomb, this time hitting it!!!

Toby Navel: Go. Mars. Yay.

Jeremy Tucker: I think Mars wants to put this one in the books as he signals for the chokeslam! Porter is completely out on his feet, and walks right into it. Mars lifts him up, and drives him to the mat with a chokeslam straight to H…

Toby Navel: Please no. It’s enough that I’ve had to sit through this shit-o-rama…

Jeremy Tucker: Porter has been completely destroyed, and all Mars needs to do is make the cover… What the hell?

Toby Navel: Not this shit again.

Jeremy Tucker: Mars is walking away! He heads up the ramp as Alistair begins the count…

Toby Navel: I understand he’s pissed about being in the worst match of the night, but a number one contendership is no small prize… Especially when we only have one belt!

[Mars disappears backstage as Alistair counts “Ten”.]

(Ding, ding!)

Jeremy Tucker: Well folks, Mars has walked away from another match, and is counted out, handing the victory to Jake Porter!!! What else can happen tonight?

-------------

[The scene shows Mars walking through the corridors, he grabs his bags, a satisfied expression in his face, and heads towards the exit, when Commissioner Brown accosts him, carrying a bag.]

Commiss Brown : Hey, good match, where are you going, we still got my one to go!

Mars : We?

Commiss Brown : Yeah, i need some back up, i don't plan on leaving this dump of a country just yet.

[Crowd boo's]

[Mars just stares at Brown, fury burning in his eyes, and Commissioner Brown takes a step back.]

Commiss Brown : Easy big guy. Look, i really don't know what makes you tick, and for the life of me can't figure out how come you would walk away from a World title shot, but .....

[Mars continues to stare at Brown with them hate filled eyes.]

Commiss Brown : But....... i have something here for you.

[Brown reaches into his bag and pulls out a Championship belt.]

Commiss Brown : This is the new Statewide Championship of Ring syndicate Australia, and I’m giving it to you!

[Brown places the belt on Mars' shoulder, and pats it hesitantly.]

Commiss Brown : Looks good, so, now, onto "my" match later tonight.

[Mars looks at the belt on his shoulder, and then looks at Brown, he grabs his bag, and walks to the exit ignoring Brown.]

Commiss Brown : WAIT! Where are you going?

[Mars doesn't answer, and disappears through the exit.]

Commiss Brown : Thats just great! I go and hand out a title for no reason at all, we'll, looks like its plan B, and then i will worry about Mars later, (under his breathe) if i still have a job that is.

Jeremy Tucker : Can you believe that piece of trash just handed Mars a title?

Andrew Fulton : What a great champion Mars is!

-----------------

Toby Navel: It’s time for the match from Hell.

["I Put a Spell on You" by Marilyn Manson, Jonnie leads
The Hellhounds down to the ring led by their chain dog
collars.]

Jeremy Tucker: ‘Purgatories Puppies’ seem to have come out in force tonight! They’re everywhere!

[Next to him, Andrew Fulton dons an iron ‘knights helmet’ complete with faceplate. He turns to his fellow commenters, lifting the visor, and smiles devilishly.]

Toby Navel: I’m working with idiots.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah, sure buddy. The Hellhounds arrive in the ring and Jonnie unhooks their chains. Referee Johnny Benson doesn’t even bother to check the Hounds for weapons. I mean, he’d have to search all of Purgatories Puppies to make it a useful search!

Toby Navel: Why does this poor ref always get stuck reffing Hellhound matches?

Jeremy Tucker: He got ‘Stillborned’ last week; I’m surprised he’s even still alive.

["Cuban Necktie" By Cypress Hill hits the airwaves, but the Goodfellas’ are a no-show]

Toby Navel: Coitus interuptus?

Jeremy Tucker: You’re funny when you’re evil; but where -are- the Goodfellas’?

[Suddenly, the Goodfellas’ jump in the ring, opposite the entrance ramp, and attack the Hellhounds from behind.]

Toby Navel: Sneak attack!!

Jeremy Tucker: The Goodfellas’ seeking the early advantage against their much larger foes. I think it’s a very wise move. Perfect for a couple of wise guys, heh heh. Get it?

Toby Navel: Shut up, jack ass.

Jeremy Tucker: You’re mean when you’re evil.

Toby Navel: The ref trying to maintain whatever control he can in this No Holds Barred match. The Hellhounds already recovering from the surprise attack, but this has yet to evolve into anything more than a pure brawl.

Jeremy Tucker: Murdock with an Irish whip that sends Cerberus rebounding off the ropes… Aaagh!! A tremendous clothesline from home sends Murdock outside the ring!!

Toby Navel: Stop yelling in my ear.

Jeremy Tucker: Sorry. Cerberus following Murdock outside of the ring as Tanner holds his own against the vicious Psycho. Outside, Cerberus stalks Murdock. Murdock spins on Cerberus with a chair-shot to the skull, but it’ll take more than one of those to slow down this big dog.

Toby Navel: Hound.

Jeremy Tucker: What?

Toby Navel: He’s a hound, not a dog.

Jeremy Tucker: All right, fine, hound. It’ll take more that one chair shot to slow down this big hound.

Toby Navel: Thank you.

Jeremy Tucker: You’re sarcastic when you’re evil. Murdock charging in for another shot with that chair… but Cerberus catches him mid stride with a hiptoss, and straight into a devastating piledriver!!

Toby Navel: Meanwhile, back in the ring, Tanner delivers a spinning head scissors to take Psycho down. These two men are equal in height, but Tanner knows that he lacks the brute strength of Psycho, so he’s wisely utilizing that acrobatic nature of his family. Psycho up on his feet, Tanner slips behind with an attempt at a gut-wrench supplex, but Psycho blocks it… Oh, a low blow by Psycho with his foot! He gets behind Tanner… and follows up with a huge underhook tornado DDT!! Boy, ya’ hate to see that happen!

Jeremy Tucker: You sound so enthused. Back outside the ring, Cerberus wails on Murdock with those huge ‘ham like’ fists of his. He picks Murdock up… and a big hanging gourdbuster onto the Aboriginals announce table! He tried to put him through it, but it wasn’t strong enough! He pulls that dog collar off his neck and wraps it around his fist. Oh! The sickening thuds of those punches on Murdock’s face are too much to bear!

Toby Navel: Then maybe you should look for a new career. Psycho hanging Tanner on the outside of the ropes, and he’s choking Tanner with -his- undone dog collar! He releases the hold and digs into his pants, Tanner taking the moment to refill his lungs with that much needed oxygen. Psycho turns around… he’s got that lighter in his hand… he’s going for the fireball!

Jeremy Tucker: Dodge!! Tanner ducked the fireball… and a stunning dropkick through the second ropes to Psycho’s belly!! Tanner held on to the ropes to avoid falling to the floor! He stands back up on the outside of the apron…

[SPLASH!!!]

Jeremy Tucker: … and a devastating split-leg moonsault to the unsuspecting Cerberus!!

Toby Navel: Oh, isn’t Tanner just the tough guy; attacking two foes at the same time.

Jeremy Tucker: You’re derisive when you’re evil.

Toby Navel: Are you reading from Triple B’s thesaurus?

Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus up, and quite angry at this surprise attack. He spins with a backhand punch, but Tanner ducks it, and answers it with a superkick to the jaw of the big hound! He goes for another superkick, but Cerberus deftly catches it… and there’s the enziguri!! And a standing dropkick completes the combination… hey!!!

Toby Navel: Hey, get off!!!

Jeremy Tucker: These guys are bumping into our announce table as they fight! Look out!!!

[THUDD!!!]

Toby Navel: Cerberus with a tremendous body slam right onto our table!!

Jeremy Tucker: My papers!!

Andrew Fulton: My porno’s!!

Toby Navel: [closing Andrew’s visor] These guys are playing for keeps! Cerberus climbing on top of the table, we can’t come anywhere near it!

Jeremy Tucker: A crotch kick by Tanner! He tries to get up…

Andrew Fulton: Hey, let go!! Aaagh!!!

Toby Navel: Yes!! Cerberus just cracked Andrew’s helmeted head into Tanners unprotected noggin!! Tanner is dazed!! Cerberus standing his victim up, he tucks Tanners head between his legs! He’s going for a piledriver…

Jeremy Tucker: 'Baddass Special' 2k3!!! Tanner just slipped out of position and delivered a modified powerbomb, sending Cerberus crashing right through that Aboriginals announce table!!! Taught to him by the man who perfected it, his older brother Bryant Tanner!!! Obviously modified a bit, as he didn’t deliver it off the top rope… but to do that to a man of Cerberus’ size is unbelievable!!!

Toby Navel: Don’t wet your panties, Jeremy.

Jeremy Tucker: You’re a jerk when you’re evil!

Toby Navel: Whatever. Cerberus up, and he sees his partner in trouble, but he also sees the stirring Murdock. He’s made his decision… a tremendous psychosault to the outside!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Murdock may be seriously injured on this one!! He’s not moving!

Toby Navel: Psycho’s barely moving himself! Jonnie Valentine smacking him awake and ordering him to finish the job!

Jeremy Tucker: Tanner standing tall a top out announce table, Cerberus is stirring to life. How he’s even conscious is beyond me, but he’s actually standing up… Tanner leaps, Springboard Hurracanrana, he twists it into a spinning DDT… he did it!!! ‘Love Potion # 10!!! Cerberus is out for the count!!!

Toby Navel: At least we can go back to our announce table. Get up Andrew!

Jeremy Tucker: Valentine tosses Murdock back into the ring, Psycho close behind. He straddles the beaten Murdock… Oh my God… The meat thermometer!!!

Toby Navel: Whoa! He’s lambasting Murdock with his own blood!! And look at Valentine celebrating!! Tanner charges the ring… Psycho already going for the pin…

[One…

Two…]

Jeremy Tucker: Tanner leaps to break the pin, but Valentine interferes with a football tackle!!

[Three… ding-ding-ding!!!]

Toby Navel: The Hellhounds have it!! They beat the Goodfellas’!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Tanner is giving it to Jonnie Valentine!! Two hard punches to the face, and a standing dropkick!! Psycho charges with that meat thermometer, but gets superkicked into next week!!! Valentine is up again, and he ducks the incoming superkick… no!! Powder to the eyes!! Jonnie just threw powder into Tanners eyes!!!

Toby Navel: Now Psycho with the fireball!!! Was that flammable powder?

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho pummels Tanner with one fist and punctures him with that meat thermometer, as Valentine pulls out a burlap sack from under the ring!! What are these monsters planning on doing!?!

Toby Navel: They’re wrapping Tanner up in that bag!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Valentine and Psycho are kidnapping Tanner; they’re taking him out of the ring!!

Toby Navel: They’ve got something sinister planned for him, I’m sure of that!!

Jeremy Tucker: Murdock pulls himself outside of the ring! He’s going to try and help his partner… No!!!

[CRACK!!!]

Toby Navel: Cerberus, already recovered from his vicious beating, smacks a two by four over Murdock’s spine!! He broke that piece of wood in half!!!

Jeremy Tucker: He tosses it aside and power-presses Murdock over his head… Oh no!! The humanity!!!

Toby Navel: He tosses him right into the middle of the awaiting arms of Purgatories Puppies!! He threw a bone to the dogs!!!

Jeremy Tucker: They’re tearing Murdock apart!!! He’s gone!! I can’t see him anymore in the throng of grasping hands and gnashing teeth!!!

Toby Navel: At least we know what happened to him… but what’s to become of Tanner; a fate worse than death?

----------

Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. Your referee is Jimmy Nor.

["Nothing Sacred" by Memento begins to play over the speakers.]

Frank Salazar: Now making his way to the ring at 6’ 2” tall and 240 lbs… Hheerroo

[The arena goes black as the opening music begins. With the first drumbeat, a flash of pyros go off around the ‘Tron as the lights also flash back in. Hero stands at the of ramp, looking around the arena.]

Jeremy Tucker: Hero looks very distracted as he makes his way to the ring.

[Hero gets on the apron, poses on the turnbuckle, then climbs in the ring and poses on the opposite one.]

Toby Navel: Well, what do you expect! He’s never gotten into the swing of things down here.

Andrew Fulton: And he’s going up against my guy, Zeus.

Jeremy Tucker: Your guy?

[The lights in the arena go black except for a spot light shinning on the entranceway.]

Andrew Fulton: Oh yeah, here it comes!

[“Thunderstruck by AC/DC begins to play over the speakers.]

Frank Salazar: And his opponent, from Hollywood, California at 6’ 6” tall and weighing in at 325 lbs… Zzeeuuss

[Smoke begins to rise up off the ramp towards the ‘Tron, as the image of a tornado begins to form on the screen.]

Toby Navel: I wished he’d hurry up. I want some blood.

[Tucker and Fulton both have shocked looks on their faces.]

Jeremy Tucker/Andrew Fulton: Wwhhaatt???

[When the song hits the first ‘Thunderstruck,’ a lightning bolt strikes the spot where the smoke started. The tornado stops and Zeus is sitting at the top of the ramp on his bike.]

Jeremy Tucker: What’s this?

[Hero is out of the ring and charging up the ramp.]

Toby Navel: Good, somebody else thought Zeus’ entrance was taking to long.

[Zeus looks up just in time to see Hero, before he gets clotheslined off his bike.]

Toby Navel: Oh yeah! That's gotta hurt.

Jeremy Tucker: I bet it would.

Andrew Fulton: He can’t do that to Zeus!

[Zeus and Hero brawl their way down to the ring.]

Jeremy Tucker: Both men have finally made it into the ring, as Jimmy Nor calls for the bell.

[Ding, ding, ding.]

Jeremy Tucker: The action is starting off hot and heavy for this.

Toby Navel: What in the Hell? Are you watching the match or did you steal one of Fulton’s porn tapes?

Andrew Fulton: You stole one of my tapes? I got those from Jonnie Valentine.

Toby Navel: Really? Are they good?

Andrew Fulton: Oh yeah, you should see this…

[Tucker has a look of disgust on his face.]

Jeremy Tucker: Will you two please pay attention to the match.

[Zeus gets to his feet, and blocks a double ax handle by Hero.]

Jeremy Tucker: Zeus boots Hero in the guts and follows it up with huge uppercut.

Toby Navel: Nice move by Zeus.

[The ref steps in and warns Zeus about using a closed fist.]

Toby Navel: Who in the hell does the ref think he is?

[Zeus glares at ref, who promptly backs off.]

Jeremy Tucker: He’s just enforcing the rules.

[Zeus turns his back on Hero as he continues to berate Jimmy Nor.]

Toby Navel: F**k That! He screwed Jake Porter over two weeks in a row and now he’s trying to do it to Zeus.

[Hero is back on his feet, stalking Zeus.]

Jeremy Tucker: Hero spins Zeus around and kicks him right in the midsection.

[Hero launches himself off the ropes flipping himself over Zeus’ back.]

Andrew Fulton: Nnnooo!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Eternity’s End!

Toby Navel: It’s a conspiracy! A conspiracy, I tell ya!

Jeremy Tucker: Cover… One… Two… Kickout!

[Zeus throws Hero almost half way across the ring.]

Andrew Fulton: HE KICKED OUT!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Hero doesn't believe it.

[Hero makes his way over to Zeus and tosses him out of the ring.]

Toby Navel: Hero is going to the top rope.

[Zeus gets back to his feet.]

Jeremy Tucker: Zeus is looking very groggy out there.

Toby Navel: Hero dives off the top.

[Zeus catches him midair and Chokeslams Hero to the floor.]

Andrew Fulton: Oww!

Jeremy Tucker: Zeus was playing possum the whole.

[Zeus scoops Hero up and drops him down on the guardrail.]

Toby Navel: Glad you figured that out… genius!

[Zeus picks Hero up again and rolls him into the ring.]

Jeremy Tucker: It looks like all Hero did was make Zeus mad.

[As Zeus climbs back into the ring Hero charges him.]

Jeremy Tucker: Big Boot by Zeus.

[Hero is sprawled out on the mat.]

Toby Navel: Zeus picks Hero off the mat.

[Short-arm Clothesline by Zeus.]

Jeremy Tucker: Zeus is completely dominating Hero in the ring.

[Hero is back to his feet.]

Toby Navel: A few weak chops by Hero.

[Zeus throws Hero into the ropes.]

Jeremy Tucker: Zeus with a huge Backdrop.

Toby Navel: Nice moves by Zeus.

[Zeus starts picking Hero up.]

Jeremy Tucker: DDT by Zeus.

[Low blow by Hero.]

Tucker/ Navel/ Fulton: Aarrgghh!!!

[Hero begins chopping away at Zeus driving him into the corner.]

Jeremy Tucker: Hero did the only thing he could to slow Zeus down.

[Zeus reverses positions in the corner.]

Toby Navel: He slowed Zeus but he didn’t stop him.

[Belly-to-Belly Suplex by Zeus.]

[Zeus lifts Hero to his feet and sends him into the ropes.]

Jeremy Tucker: Powerslam by the big man.

Andrew Fulton: Beautiful!

Toby Navel: Incredible elevation on that Powerslam by Zeus.

[Zeus lifts Hero to his feet.]

Jeremy Tucker: Zeus hoist Hero up into the…

Toby Navel: Wrath of Zeus!!!

Andrew Fulton: It’s over!

Jeremy Tucker: Cover… One… Two… Three…

[Zeus gets to his feet as the ref signals for the bell.]

Frank Salazar: The winner of the match… Zzeeuuss

[Zeus Stands in the middle of the ring making the title belt gesture.]

Toby Navel: Zeus is definitely sending a message to the winner of the Championship match.

Jeremy Tucker: Yes he is, but he’ll have to get by the number one contender first.

[Zeus begins making his way towards the back.]

Toby Navel: Porter or Mars, I think Zeus is waiting for the chance to get either one of them back in the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: There is no love lost between any of those men.

Toby Navel: You are watching porn, aren’t you Tucker!

Jeremy Tucker: Go too commercial.

------------

[The scene shows Jonnie and the Hellhounds bringing Tanner into a dark room with a light shining on a chair and an open briefcase with money in it. The Hellhounds place Tanner on the chair and Jonnie goes for the money. A shadow comes from the doorway.]

Jonnie- Hey, he is all yours have fun.

[Jonnie and The Hellhounds leave the room shutting the door behind them. Laughter is heard from inside the room. All of a sudden the doors move like a body has been thrown against it. Then the door breaks as Tanner is thrown threw the door but no one is inside the room. People start to gather. ]

----------

[The arena quickly goes dark. A projection of light onto the ceiling becomes apparent- symbols: Alpha, Omega, then an odd-looking skull. Music begins to play on the PA, it is “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie.]

Jeremy Tucker: What is this?

Toby Navel: I think I might know…



# I am the Astro-Creep
# A demolition-style hell American Freak yeah
# I am the Crawling dead
# A phantom in a box shadow in your head say
# Suicide freedom off the blast read the fucker lies yeah
# Scratch off the broken skin
# Tear into my heart make me do it again yeah, yeah….yeah….yeah

Jeremy Tucker: I’ve seen this guy before! Let’s go get an interview…

Toby Navel: That’s what you think, HA!

[Navel snatches up the mic and runs to ringside.]

Jeremy Tucker: Hey!!

[Navel hits the ring, and approaches the man. The man hovers over Navel, and stares at him blankly through his Gargoyle sunglasses. The man grabs a well-taped black club out of his trenchcoat, and points it at Navel, then points it at the mic, and motions to throw it to him. Navel throws the mic to the man, but stands there.]

Man: You can go now.

[The man points his club to the announcer’s table. Navel leaves. The crowd cheers a little.]

Man: Well, well, well.

[The man scans the crowd with the mic in his hand. The crowd seems confused at the new face in the ring.]

Dan Stein : Hello, boys and girls, my name is “The Punisher” Dan Stein. This [grabs the club] is is my assistant, which I call the Peacemaker. This lovely creature next to me, well, you can call her Domino.

[Catcalls cascade from the crowd.]

Dan Stien : You probably haven’t seen me before, because I have never stepped foot in this country before today. North America has grown tiresome, and it is time I bring my pain to the other half of the world to show you what REAL wrestling looks like. Seeing that I got jet lag like no tomorrow, I’m going to make this quick.

I’m not here to banter with you people, I have something to say, and then I’m gone.

[Stein briefly pauses.]

This message is for the boys in back. I have been watching you, all of you, for some time now. Some of you I have seen before, some of you are total strangers. Some of you here have already been crushed under my boot, and some have not. Some of you are complete buffoons, but some of you…

[Stein voice lowers to a near growl.]

Some of you are dangerous. Dangerous to me and to my domination of this place. You will be the first to go down.

[Stein goes back to normal tone of voice.]

But to all of you back there watching this, I am here for one reason: to make your lives a living hell. And believe me, I am good at it.

[Domino nods her head in a very obvious way. Stein catches a glimpse of this out of the corner of his eye, and pauses to give a menacing stare to Domino. Domino grins at him.]

But for now, I will keep watching. But I assure you, when the time comes, you will know me, whether you want to or not. And believe me, most of you are going to wish you never did. The Punisher has spoken.

[Stein throws down the mic as he and Domino exit the ring.]

Jeremy Tucker: Wow! The Punisher has come down under! This ought to make everything more interesting around here!

Toby Navel: Ahh, who cares. What a jerk.
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Apr 28, 2004#2
Jeremy Tucker: We are back for a match that in one way or another concerns every wrestler in the Ring Syndicate Australia roster…

Toby Navel: …and the fans too.

Jeremy Tucker: That’s right. The success of a wrestling promotion depends widely in who owns it and in who is the commissioner in charge.

Toby Navel: The commissioner makes a lot of decisions, including booking.

Andrew Fulton: And we have the best commissioner of them all! Well, not that good, he is black.

Toby Navel: Don’t tell me you’re a racist now?

Andrew Fulton: I hate the world…I was meant to be racist too. Black people stink anyway.

Toby Navel: Your mouth is the one stinking, stupid redneck.

Andrew Fulton: Whoa! I’m so sorry withered flower.

Jeremy Tucker: Stop it guys…

Toby Navel: You’re no one to have the right to tell me to stop, not that I even care. I stop whenever I want to stop from now on. If you don’t like it, then you can quit and leave the position to someone more deserving.

Jeremy Tucker: Fulton you forgot those staples on Navel’s chair? That’s why he is so bitchy tonight?

Toby Navel: Oh you think you’re so funny. You’re a failure. You can't even teach me anything new. What a mentor. You couldn’t even teach a dog how to pee on the neighbor’s front yard.

Jeremy Tucker: Maybe I can teach you how to shut the hell up.

Toby Navel: Look how my knees are shaking in fear. Trembling!

Andrew Fulton: I like him more now, really.

Jeremy Tucker: Exactly what I needed, two jackasses.

Andrew Fulton: Shotgun! I’m the ‘jacks’ in that equation.

Jeremy Tucker: No I’m pretty sure you are the ‘asses’. Whatever, let’s go to a video and have a look at how we got here.

[Live show is cut to go to special Brown/Reeve PPV VTR]

NML August 25th 2003

Commissioner Brown: …Reeve, you should be saving it, you got a bug match coming up next, I would really hate to see anything happen to you.

And you two, where was this aggression in the ring!

[Reeve, Excellence and Incredible Y stare at each other, and then back at Brown.]

Commissioner Brown: O well, good luck in your match Reeve, have fun with the Hellhounds, hahahah!

And speaking of fun, I think I'll book you three in a little triangle match next week, enjoy!

Later that night…

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve pulling himself up by the ropes while guarding his face from the kicks from four flailing legs! Hellhound Cerberus tosses Double R into the ropes; he ducks a clothesline.

Toby Navel: …and runs right into a shoulder block from Psycho!!

Jeremy Tucker: Stop finishing my lines.

Toby Navel: Sorry boss. Cerberus climbs the ropes as Psycho turns Reeve, putting him in position. Cerberus leaps.

[SPLASH!!!]

Toby Navel: …and a cross-body off the top-rope!!! Reeve is hurt!! Psycho pulls Reeve out to the arena floor. Purgatory's Puppies are going wild!!

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho walks Reeve down along the divider, taking various artifacts from the crowd and smacking Reeve in the head and face with them. The ref is furious, but without the bell being sounded, what can he do?

Toby Navel: Psycho looking around at his fans now, looking for something to deliver the coupe-de-grasse.

Andrew Fulton: Ooh, me-me-me!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Oh my God, Psycho took Andrew's lead pipe and cracked Reeves' head with it!! Andrew, you're sick!!!

Toby Navel: Psycho tossing Reeve back into the ring now into the awaiting arms of Hellhound Cerberus. What the…Javert just slid a chair into the ring…that sick bastard. GET IN THE RING!!!

Jeremy Tucker: He's ignoring you Toby. Cerberus sets the chair up as Psycho lifts Reeve high into the air. THREE-D!!!

Toby Navel: Reeve may be dead.

Later on in Brown’s office, Mars and Brown appear on screen having a conversation…

Commissioner Brown: Yeah, well, that’s great. Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you on that victory over Zeus, great job, very impressive.

Mars: Think nothing of it, it was actually fun.

Commissioner Brown: Perfect, because I got some more fun lined up for you, a terrible disappointment to me, Javert; he was meant to leave Reeve laying for the Hellhounds, but he stuffed it up, and now he must pay!

NML August 12th 2003

[Reeve picks up Javert and executes the Ruthless Edge]

Jeremy Tucker: A cover! 1……2……3!

Toby Navel: RUTHLESS WINS!

Frank Salazar: Your winner. Ruthless L. Reeve!!!

[Hot to Death by Everlast hits.]

Commissioner Brown: Just what the hell do you think your doing Reeve?

[Ruthless L Reeve stands there staring at the Commissioner.]

Commissioner Brown (moving right up to Reeve, and looking right up to his eyes.) : I'm talking to you boy! I've had it with your crap, what’s the meaning of this ......

[Commissioner Brown motions to the body bag, and Reeve snatches the mic from him.]

Ruthless L Reeve: Don't know and don't care!

[Reeve drops the mic, and turns his back on Brown heading out of the ring. Brown quickly picks the mic back up.]

Commissioner Brown: Where do you think your going, don't you turn your back on me!

[Reeve hesitates at the ropes, then steps over the top rope to leave the ring.]

Commissioner Brown: REEVE! I'm not finished with you yet boy! I haven't even started!

[Reeve steps back over the rope into the ring, and moves towards Brown, standing over him trying to intimidate him.]

Commissioner Brown: Don't you look down at me, who the hell do you think you are anyway, Mars had you beat, he had this match won, everyone knows that, and you try and concoct these shananagans!

Jeremy Tucker: Shananagans?

[Reeve snatches the mic.]

Ruthless L Reeve: Look, i told you, I don’t know what happened to your boy, and I don’t care, he is making a name for himself around here, obviously someone wanted to cash in on that, but hey, that’s fine with me, I am more than happy to take the win!

Commissioner Brown: I'll bet you are, but i got a little surprise for you Reeve, actually, I got two surprises for you.

[Behind Reeve, Mars' fist breaks through the body bag!]

Commissioner Brown: This region ain’t big enough for the both of us Reeve, Soutter has told me to take you out by any means necessary, and I plan on doing just that, so, we are going to have some fun, there is an old saying, if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself, so, Sept 30th, at the Down Under Derby, its going to be you Ruthless L Reeve, right in the center of this ring, going at it in singles competition against .............. yours’ truly, Commissioner Brown!

Toby Navel: Ohhh my god, he's booked himself against Reeve for the PPV!

[Reeve chuckles.]

Commissioner Brown: Laugh it up, while you can, because if you loose this match, then (Vince McMahon voice) "YOU’RE FIRED!"

Ruthless L Reeve: That’s bullshit! Who do you think I am, Goldberg? You expect me to just put my career on the line for nothing? No way, you want this match, you got it, but you got to put your career on the line as well! Loser leaves Australia, that’s the only way it will work!

Commissioner Brown: You got it! I'll see you at the PPV, if you make it that is, see, I seem to remember you running your mouth last week in your promo's, well, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it, next week, right here in Dandenong, its going to be you, Ruthless L Reeve Vs ....... THE HELLHOUNDS!!!! Two on One in a handicap match, and I'll be left to clean up the scraps at the Down Under Derby!!! HaHaHa!!!

Ruthless L Reeve: Ohh, I'll be there, don’t you worry about that! What’s the second surprise then?

[Commissioner Brown points behind Reeve to Mars who is now out of the body bag and standing right behind him.]

Commissioner Brown: THAT!

[WHAM!]

Jeremy Tucker: CHOKESLAM!!!

Toby Navel: Reeve turned around, and Mars just drilled him with that devastating chokeslam!

NML September 22nd 2003

Toby Navel: Reeve in position… Hurricanranna!! Reeve just pulled off a huge Hurricanrana!!

Jeremy Tucker: But Cerberus held on to Reeve. He didn’t let go… Reeve is screaming. Cerberus is biting the testicals of Ruthless Reeve!!!

Toby Navel: This is just sick.

Jeremy Tucker: Sick but effective! The ref utilizing his five-count, but it isn’t soon enough for the now crying Reeve. Cerberus breaks the ‘hold’, and Psycho joins him as the two look over the fallen Reeve, lying in fetal position with tears streaming down his face!!

Toby Navel: Hey, anyone would be crying at a bite to the groin.

Andrew Fulton: I can testify to that.

Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus reaches into his pants, he pulls out a meat thermometer! Oh God, and the denigration begins anew!

Toby Navel: He’s carving up Reeves face. This is just inhumane! I can’t watch!

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho climbing the ropes for some of his own high-flying. He sits at the top, and Johnnie Valentine hands up a burlap sack!

Toby Navel: What’s in that sack!?!

Jeremy Tucker: Barbed wire!! Psycho is wrapping himself in the barbed wire!!

Toby Navel: Oh the humanity!

Jeremy Tucker: Leap, and a Moonsault to the sprawled Reeve!

Toby Navel: I can barely even ‘see’ Reeve covered with all that blood!

Jeremy Tucker: It’s going to get worse, Cerberus out of the ring now, and moving the guardrail closer. Psycho brings the limp form of Reeve outside and lays him over the guardrail. Cerberus reaches into the crowd of ‘puppies’… he pulls back a ten-pound weight!!

[THUDD!!!]

Toby Navel: I don’t need to know what happened.

Andrew Fulton: He got waylaid.

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho lifts Reeve up… Skytwister into the audience!! Those ‘puppies’ tore Adam ‘Seven’ Plummer to pieces a few weeks ago; what will they do to Reeve?

Commissioner Brown…

One on One…

Against Ruthless L. Reeve…

LOSER LEAVES AUSTRALIA

[VTR ends and we go back to the live show]

[Jeremy Tucker and Toby Navel look astonished…Fulton is sleeping]

Jeremy Tucker: [yelling on Fulton’s ear] Fulton wake up!

Andrew Fulton: [scared] Fucking Christ! Did it end already?

Toby Navel: Yes it ended…

Andrew Fulton: I’m not asking you shitted pampers.

Toby Navel: F*** you then.

Jeremy Tucker: That’s what I call a long pre-match video…

Andrew Fulton: That’s what I call a big waste of PPV time. I’m sure someone is going to get fired because of that.

Toby Navel: I hope they fire you both, second hand black & white commentators.

Andrew Fulton: I’m the white!

[“Hot to Death” by Everlast hits as Ruthless L. Reeve walks out for his important match, accompanied by lot of cheers from the live audience]

Frank Salazar: THIS CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! WITH THE LOSER OF THE MATCH LEAVING AUSTRALIA! COMING FIRST TO THE RING FROM MELBOURNE AUSTRALIA!

[Audience starts chanting “Ruthless! Ruthless! Ruthless!”]

Frank Salazar: WEIGHING IN AT THREE-HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN POUNDS AND STANDING AT SEVEN FEET TALL!

Toby Navel: Very, very tall.

Frank Salazar: RUUUTTTTTHHHHHHLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS L REEEEEEEEEVEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Brown made Reeve’s life very impossible during almost two whole months, booking him in very dangerous matches that could have cost him more than his career.

Andrew Fulton: More than his career? What can be more important for Reeve than his crappy wrestling career…hello he is Australian, life can’t be so worth the time.

Jeremy Tucker: That’s not the main issue here. We have two men, only one will stay in Australia. If Commissioner Brown loses, we’ll have to get a new commissioner, hopefully a much better one. If Reeve loses, the Australians, especially the people of Melbourne, will have to give this native kid a last goodbye.

Andrew Fulton: You’re so emotional Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker: Thanks Ful…

Andrew Fulton: And gay!

[“Get Free” by The Vines (the official NML music theme) hits as the people of Melbourne boo Brown’s “supposed” way in]

Jeremy Tucker: I wonder what Brown has up his sleeve for tonight.

Toby Navel: What do you mean?

Jeremy Tucker: Well you don’t think Brown is willing to fight Reeve fairly…

Frank Salazar: AND THE OPPONENT! HAILING FROM NEW ORLEANS! WEIGHTING IN 250 POUNDS AND STANDING AT SIX FEET SIX INCHES TALL! THE RING SYNDICATE COMMISSIONER RICHARD BROWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: …so I wonder what he has up his sleeve to defeat Reeve…

Toby Navel: What is going on? Mr. Brown came from under the ring and nailed Reeve with a shovel! Three times!

Andrew Fulton: Nice.

Jeremy Tucker: You see, that’s what I’m talking about. The coward is now choking Reeve with the edge of the shovel!

Commissioner Brown: [yelling to Reeve] You’re not going to leave Australia after all! You’re going to be buried here!

Toby Navel: Oh no! Brown has very bad intentions with Reeve.

Andrew Fulton: Bad intentions bullshit! Reeve wants to stay in Australia right? Brown is going to please that wish.

Toby Navel: In an awkward way I guess.

Jeremy Tucker: And what the hell is El Atlético doing! He doesn’t know what to do, he is just standing staring at what is happening! The match hasn’t even started yet for God’s sake!

Toby Navel: Brown now with edge of the shovel strikes Reeve to the ribs. That ryhmes right?

Andrew Fulton: Rhymes? Why don’t you go and write pussy poetries for other gays like you and Tucker. I hate gays.

Toby Navel: Maybe because you’re scared of realizing you are one. I bet you are in the closet!

Jeremy Tucker: I bet that too!

Andrew Fulton: I have nothing to do with your pervert homosexual fantasies guys. That’s only between you two. Leave me out of that.

[Brown throws the shovel out of the ring and orders El Atlético to start the match! Reeve is a covered in blood.]

Jeremy Tucker: Now that Reeve is covered in blood and decimated, that excuse of a referee starts the match. One of these two guys will leave Australia forever, what a shame it will be the homeboy apparently. Its pointless.

Andrew Fulton: Yeah right, what a shame. I would love to be part of that match, to lay on my back for the 1-2-3 and get the hell out of this forbidden small island.

Toby Navel: No one is stopping you crybaby. The bastard Brown grapevine pins Reeve.

El Atlético: One…………………………Two………………………………Three!!! (Reeve with shoulder up at the last Pico second!)

Andrew Fulton: Fucking incredible!

Jeremy Tucker: Brown gets mad and hysteric with El Atlético. He is claiming that he made a slow count…what a nerve he has to be demanding things after attacking Reeve with that shovel.

Toby Navel: Brown is pushing El Atlético! Looks that El Atlético didn’t like that push at all. Brown keeps pushing him! El Atlético looks at the crowd like asking them what to do?

Jeremy Tucker: El Atlético responds to Brown’s demands and pushes with a big push of his own! Reeve crawls from the back and rolls Brown up!

[El Atlético drops to the mat in an instant and counts faster than light!]

El Atlético: One..Two..Thre (Brown kicks out!)

Andrew Fulton: This is an outrage! That damn referee is playing dirty!

Toby Navel: El Atlético is Puerto Rican and he has a bad temper and doesn’t like to be manhandled by any wrestler.

Andrew Fulton: I hate Puerto Ricans! Damn USA parasites and carjackers!

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve tries to stand up but is sent to the mat with a shitty clothesline. Miscellaneous kicks to the body by the commissioner.

Andrew Fulton: Making stupid parades in New York interrupting the transit! Waving those meaningless flags!

Toby Navel: Brown forces Reeve’s head into the ropes and strangles him with them!

Andrew Fulton: All day eating fried weird things like greasy pigs! Receiving all types of federal help at our expenses! Fucking parasites!

Jeremy Tucker: El Atlético orders Brown to stop choking Reeve with the ropes and starts counting him. Brown releases Reeve but threatens the ref to stay away from him and goes back to work on Reeve.

Andrew Fulton: They killed Bruiser Brody down there in that nonsense animal party called ‘lucha libre’!

Toby Navel: Brown runs to the opposite ropes to gain momentum and jumps over Reeve…but Reeve moves away and Brown’s groin stopa at the middle rope! Painful.

Andrew Fulton: And they come from a small island too! God I hate islanders.

Jeremy Tucker: Fulton, enough is enough. Or you plan to keep insulting the Puerto Rican community all night long?

Andrew Fulton: I can, oh yes I can.

Toby Navel: Reeve is coming back into this match grabbing Brown by the neck, lifting him up in a vertical suplex but drops him on the ropes!

Jeremy Tucker: Brown is surely not sympathizing with the ropes. Reeve cleans with his hand a little blood from his face and pulls Brown off the ropes into the ring.

Toby Navel: The coward Brown kneels before Reeve near the corner begging for mercy!

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve looks at the pumped audience smiling. Reeve pulls up Brown by the hair and sends him back to the canvas with a hard scoop slam! Brown sells the back like if it was hit with a baseball bat or a steel chair…

Toby Navel: No Mercy from Reeve. No Mercy!

Andrew Fulton: Free advertisement for the WWE from Toby Navel.

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve picks Brown up and whips him to the corner. Humiliating slaps to the face!

Andrew Fulton: Reeve is abusing Brown! This is not fair!

Jeremy Tucker: This is fairer than anything. Brown is getting just what he deserves. Foot choke by Reeve.

Toby Navel: El Atlético starts to count Reeve but Reeve quickly takes his foot out of Brown’s throat. Takes a few steps back and clotheslines Brown in the turnbuckle! Brown falls in the mat face first.

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve kicks Brown’s left leg in the back of the knee, and also kicks his left lower back.

Toby Navel: He is preparing Brown for something. Reeve takes Brown’s left leg and locks on a half Boston crab!

Jeremy Tucker: Brown is paying for his actions with tremendous pain. He waves his hands in desperation, but reaches the nearest bottom rope before submitting. Reeve releases the submission maneuver and Brown escapes from the ring, sliding under the bottom rope, to take a little breath.

Toby Navel: But not for long because Reeve reaches him from the ring with his right hand and pulls him up by the hair to the ring apron. Reeve grabs his throat! He is going for a chokeslam from the apron to the ringside!

Jeremy Tucker: No! Brown used his weight and the top rope to guillotine Reeve, who falls back first in the mat!

Andrew Fulton: Don’t underestimate Mr. Brown suckers!

Toby Navel: The crowd is booing him, and he, in response, gives them the finger.

Andrew Fulton: That’s attitude!

Jeremy Tucker: But he’s black, weren’t you racist?

Andrew Fulton: …I don’t know what you are talking about and I don’t care either.

Toby Navel: Brown is taking that shovel again! But if he uses it against Reeve now in the match he loses right?

Jeremy Tucker: I have no idea. I suppose. But maybe it’s a no DQ match, because of the Loser Leaves Australia stipulation.

Toby Navel: So the creative team can’t explain this to us before the show? They suck big time.

Andrew Fulton: Just like WWE’ creative team, maybe even more.

Jeremy Tucker: Stop complaining about everything. Brown is going to nail Reeve again with that shovel…El Atlético takes the shovel from Brown’s back and shoves it out of the ring! Brown looks at the ref in shock.

Commissioner Brown: [yelling to the ref] What the f*** do you think you’re doing?!

Toby Navel: Reeve gets up and is standing right behind Brown! El Atlético is trying to tell him Reeve is on his back…Brown turns around and makes a little jump of fear! Reeve is going to end him now.

Jeremy Tucker: Brown reacts with weak punches to Reeve’s face. Reeve doesn’t even feel those punches. Reeve grabs Brown by the throat once again! Reeve drops Brown instead of chokeslamming him…why?

Andrew Fulton: Here they are!

[“Purgatory puppies” commence to move to the front rows hungry of flesh and blood. ‘Hardkore’ Jonnie Valentine and The Hellhounds slowly walks down the ramp with a chorus of boos]

Jeremy Tucker: This can’t be happening.

Andrew Fulton: Oh yes it’s happening.

Toby Navel: But why?

Andrew Fulton: Oh why? Jonnie knows what’s best for him and his boys, and that’s Brown not moving from Australia.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah, with Brown in the power they practically have RSA in their pockets.

Toby Navel: And is not good to have a 7 feet tall enemy close.

Jeremy Tucker: Exactly, they would be killing two birds with one stone. But this can’t keep going like this. Somebody must do something to stop this evil union. After they finish with Reeve it will be The Goodfellas, or Triple B, or Hero…they’ll never stop until there’s no one to destroy.

Andrew Fulton: Exciting huh?

Toby Navel: Reeve is verbally arguing with them from the ring. He is advising them to stay out of his way.

Andrew Fulton: Like they are going to even care about what he wants.

Jeremy Tucker: I hate that cocky smirk of Jonnie. Reminds me of someone in the IWA. A blonde son of a…

Toby Navel: You said the taboo Word! Bad boy. Brown jumps over Reeve and chokes him from behind! That’s a surprise.

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve loses balance and falls on his knees and face first on the mat! Brown is not letting go!

Toby Navel: After those chokes with the shovel Reeve’s throat is not in the best state. This could be the end of this match.

Andrew Fulton: This MUST BE THE END!

Jeremy Tucker: I have faith on the homeboy.

[El Atlético checks Reeve and asks him if he wants to give up. Reeve shakes his head ‘no’]

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve is not going to give up after all he has survived. And effectively, Reeve goes back to his knees, he is making an inhuman effort to stand up!

Toby Navel: Brown is attached to Reeve’s body like a parasite.

Andrew Fulton: You mean like a Puerto Rican?

Toby Navel: … … … no comments.

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve finally stands up and rams his back against the far corner! Brown instantly releases the chokehold and receives back elbows to the face by Reeve. Australian Slam from the corner straight to the center of the squared circle. Reeve covers Brown!

El Atlético: One………………Two……(Jonnie climbs to the ring apron and Reeve goes for Jonnie, interrupting the count)

Toby Navel: Reeve throws a right punch to Jonnie but misses after Jonnie jumps back to the ringside. Reeve is pissed off.

Jeremy Tucker: But knows he has to win this match in order to stay in his homeland, so goes back for Brown. Forces him up and shakes his world with a Pumphandle Slam! Brown doesn’t even move! Reeve covers.

El Atlético: One………………Two……………Thr (Jonnie puts Brown’s leg on the bottom rope, without the ref seeing him, and the count is stopped!)

Toby Navel: Reeve is asking El Atlético what the hell happened. So the referee shows him Brown has his leg on the bottom rope.

Jeremy Tucker: Oh Reeve knows it was Jonnie after looking at his “It wasn’t me” smile. Reeve is arguing with Jonnie and suddenly Brown hammers Reeve’s back with his forearm! Brown with a schoolboy pin!

El Atlético: One…………(Brown hooks his legs on the middle rope to reinforce the pin)…Two…………Thre (El Atlético notices Brown cheating, gets up and kicks Brown’s legs out of the ropes!)

Andrew Fulton: So close, so far. Damn it!

Toby Navel: Brown street kicks Reeve a couple of times and Irish whips him, but Reeve reverses it whipping Brown instead, and welcomes him back with a big boot to the chest!

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve goes to the ropes but Psycho grabs his ankle! Reeve turned his back on Brown and is pointing at Psycho with a face of few friends. El Atlético tries to stop Reeve from going outside.

Toby Navel: Look what Jonnie is doing! He’s taking something out of his pants…a plastic bag with a white dust inside! He calls Brown to give it to him!

Jeremy Tucker: If Brown uses that dust on Reeve he will be blind for a few minutes…enough time to finish anyone. This can’t be happening!

Andrew Fulton: Yes it’s happen…

Jeremy Tucker: Isn’t that! Look who is rushing his way down the ring!

Toby Navel: Is he who I think he is?

Jeremy Tucker: Hell heavens yeah! It’s The Dragon!!!

[Dracon heights 6’4 and weights 250 pounds (a little heavier than the last time we saw him) and is wearing casual clothes (Element-Babylon rusty dark gray jeans, a Billabong-Classic short-sleeved navy T-shirt, a Spitfire-Dante metal gray charcoal zipper jacket open in the front) with navy Skechers-Grand Prix charcoal trimmed shoes. A leather band watch on his right wrist and his usual white gold rings in his fingers]

Toby Navel: The Dragon is in Australia!!! And looks as good as Randy Orton!

Jeremy Tucker: That was a gay comment.

Andrew Fulton: What the hell is he doing here?!

Jeremy Tucker: I guess he has unfinished business with Mr. Valentine!

Toby Navel: Brown is near the ropes trying to reach the small bag of dust Jonnie is offering him, but Jonnie notices the loud noises and cheers that come from the audience and turns around…only to get SPEARED a la Goldberg in the ringside floor!

Jeremy Tucker: SPEAR! SPEAR! Dracon speared Jonnie Valentine in the concrete floor!

Andrew Fulton: And that fucking dust jumped to Brown’s face by accident! Dracon’s spear made Jonnie throw that dust to Brown’s face! Fucking Dracon!

Jeremy Tucker: Reeve quickly takes Brown in inverted vertical suplex and drops forward in variation of a reverse DDT! Saving Grace! Reeve partially covers.

El Atlético: One!

[Jonnie rolls in the ringside floor hugging his stomach in pain!]

Toby Navel: Dracon just stares at him with a sweet smile on his face! Here comes Cerberus running to face The Dragon! Dracon looks at him seriously.

El Atlético: Two!!

Toby Navel: Psycho from the back of Dracon with the bloody shovel Brown used on Reeve! Oh no he is going to nail…Dracon ducked and Psycho nailed his partner instead!

El Atlético: Three!!!

Toby Navel: Reeve won! Brown is leaving Australia forever!

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho tries again with the shovel but Dracon stops it by grabbing the stick of the shovel with one hand! GRANDMASTER SUPLEX ON PSYCHO!

Toby Navel: Impressive high-angle sambo suplex with a final impact like the Rock Bottom, where Psycho landed on the concrete floor with his upper back and neck area! That could’ve killed him!

Andrew Fulton: Nothing can kill The Hellhounds you moron.

Jeremy Tucker: Talking about The Hellhounds, the purgatory puppies are not pleased with what The Dragon is doing. They’re shouting something I can’t understand and throwing objects to him! They don’t like it now huh!

Andrew Fulton: Don’t celebrate asshole! Cerberus is coming back…

Toby Navel: Dracon lifted him on his shoulders and sent him down with Marc Mero’s TKO!

Jeremy Tucker: It’s called the Samurai Stunner, rookie! Dracon looks at what he has done and gets in the ring…

Andrew Fulton: He may hate Jonnie but don’t forget he is a heel…now Reeve will feel the dragon fury!

Toby Navel: You’re a mark Fulton.

Jeremy Tucker: Dracon walks to Reeve and…Dracon throws Brown out of the ring and lifts Reeve’s hand up in the air! Dracon slides out of the ring and walks up the ramp with “dragon” chants from the people of Melbourne.

Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH IS RUTHLESS L REEVE! SO COMM…THE EX-COMMISSIONER BROWN MUST LEAVE AUSTRALIA IMMEDIATELY!

Toby Navel: So we won’t be seeing Brown anymore, what do you think about that Fulton?

Andrew Fulton: Oh well, he is black…

[As a celebrating Reeve taunts the former commissioner, C. K. Panic, wearing the type of clothes as when he was last seen, walks from the back and into the ring. Reeve looks at him warily, as Panic cheerily climbs into the ring with a microphone. The crowd is a little confused on how to respond.]

C. K. Panic: (looking towards Brown) Mr. Commissioner, what have you done? I'll tell you what you've done. You've lost the trust of one Paul Soutter in what was your last shot at redemption. And now....

[Panic tosses something from his pants pocket to Brown.]

C. K. Panic: ...you're done. There's your plane ticket home, you leave in the morning.

[Commissioner Brown picks up the ticket and, glaring a hole in both Panic and Reeve, leaves to the back.]

C. K. Panic: So with that, I would like to introduce you to Soutter's new problem solver, a man who has no conflicts of interest regarding taking out the problems here....

[Panic looks right at the the bewildered and angry Reeve.]

C. K. Panic: Straight from K-Division......."MR. FIXIT" SAM PILTDOWN!

["Pink Slip" by The Unband plays as Sam Piltdown, clad in jeans, sneakers, and a K-Division t-shirt. He climbs into the ring and showboats a little for the crowd, then claps Panic on the back affectionately as he takes the mic.]

Sam Piltdown: How the f**k y'all doin'?

[Thecrowd is mixed in reaction, still taking in what just happened. It doesn't faze Sam.]

Sam Piltdown: Looks, I know you're a little confused, but lemme just tell you straight. I'm a guarantee that from now on, the shows will go on in a way so that all the fans have fun. Because that's what Soutter wants for everybody who comes to the shows and watches at home. For them to have a great time. So he needed a guy who can take down all the troublemakers and keep the peace. Soutter called K-Division and actually requested me, citing respect. We hashed it out and now, here I am! This place will be one big happy family, and no one will go looking for trouble while I'm here. And---

[Reeve, having heard enough, slaps the mic from Piltdown's hands and screams at Sam. He takes a wild swing, which Sam avoids. Sam grabs Reeve and sends him flying from the ring. C. K. hands Sam his mic back.]

Sam: And that, like I had been trying to say before a rude interruption, goes for everybody!

["Pink Slip" starts playing again and Sam plays to the crowd, who starts giving up some more cheers for him. Reeve makes his way up and stares down the unimpressed Piltdown before heading to the back. Piltdown and Panic leave a bit after, slapping hands with the fans that reach out.]

----

Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING, AND IS FOR THE RING SYNDICATE AUSTRALIAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! INTRODUCING FIRST HAILING FROM BAKERSFIELD CA, AND COMING IN AT 6' & 221 LBS, NICK CAIRO!!!!

[“Me Against Me” by Project 86 hits and Nick Cairo makes his way to the ring, he gets a nice reaction from the fans.]

Jeremy Tucker : Here we go folks, the big one, the one we have all been waiting for, the MAIN EVENT!

Toby Navel : Nice reaction there for Cairo, although it could also be that the reaction is more for the main event, rather than him individually.

Andrew Fulton : Huh?

Frank Salazar : AND NOW INTRODUCING, COMING IN AT 6'3 & 255lbs, ADAM "SEVEN" PLUMMER!!!!!!

[“Cashout” by Fugazi hits as the ‘Tron spells out, “I TOOK THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED… AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE.” Red fog begins to stream out across the stage as the first verse kicks in, and A7 makes his first appearance. Staring intently, he slowly looks from left to right as he makes his way down the ramp. Once in the ring, he climbs the middle turnbuckle and stares down the announcers without gesturing. Then, he hops down and leans against the ropes, arms crossed, staring towards Nick Cairo.]

Jeremy Tucker : There he is, he man who has beaten both Nick Cairo and Triple B in singles competition, and must be the favorite going into this one today!

Andrew Fulton : He must be the most improved wrestler in the world right now.

Toby Navel : Its not improvement, he has always been this good, just now is getting the opportunity to show it is all!

Toby Navel: Adam Plummer looking hyped for this triple threat match.

Jeremy Tucker: I agree. He’s walking around the ring like a caged animal.

Voice: PLUMMER!

[Seven turns to face the entrance ramp.]

Toby Navel: That was Triple B’s voice, but where is he?

Jeremy Tucker: [Pointing to the tron] He’s on the screen!

Triple B: [Indeed, on the Aussi-tron] Greetings Plummer.

[Plummer grits his teeth, obviously annoyed by this stalling on the part of Triple B, and just wanting to get on with the match.]

Triple B: I just wanted to address the comments you made in your last promo. [Bill holds up a pocket-sized book for all to view] And I brought this to ensure that you understood.]

Toby Navel: That’s a thesaurus!

Jeremy Tucker: Triple B going for a little pre-match psych-out!

Triple B: [In a mock dark voice] It was an icy, shadowy night…

[The lights go dim and cooling fans turn on, chilling the stadium.]

Triple B: [Reading from the thesaurus] Let’s see, that would be: cold & dark.

[The crowd chuckles lightly at Triple B’s obvious insult on Plummer, who for his part, does not seem pleased.]

Triple B: The trench coat clad figure [Bill points to himself] stood on the brink of eternity…

Toby Navel: Plummer is growing restless.

Jeremy Tucker: He’s almost fidgeting with anticipation.

Triple B: Suddenly, the unsuspecting Plummer heard an enemy creeping behind him, and he leaped with fright!!!

[Plummer turns with frightening speed, blocking his face and preparing for the impact… that never comes. He looks around, then hearing Triple B’s laughter on the big screen, he turns around with a fire in his eyes.]

Triple B: [Still laughing at his prank] Let’s see, that would be: naive, rival & coward.

[The crowd roars its approval.]

Toby Navel: I hope Triple B knows what he’s doing, because Plummer looks ready to dismantle Bill limb from limb.

Jeremy Tucker: How can it get any worse than this?

Triple B: But it was just the sound of thunder in the distance…



Triple B: And lightning flashed nearby…

[The four ring posts explode with white pyro, straight into the air. The crowd cheers in building excitement.]

Toby Navel: Bill’s got some explaining to do with Zeus.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah, that lightning pyro isn’t cheap.

Triple B: And a gentle rain sprinkles the land, saturating the earth.

[Plummer gets a surprised look on his face, and he mouths the words “no way’. All too suddenly, a bucket of water is poured over his head from above the ring in the rafters.]

Triple B: [Laughing almost uncontrollably] Allright, so that would be: mild, sprays and, let’s see here, [flipping through the book] Oh yes… all wet!

[The crowd cheers wildly, and a Tri-ple-B chant rocks the very rafters.]

Toby Navel: Plummer looks like a wet puppy.

Jeremy Tucker: He’s going to be a wet Doberman once Bill walks to the ring.

Triple B: [Still chuckling] Oh Plummer, my little whelp, I warned you about my storm; but you refused to pay it any heed. Now I’ll fulfill the second part of my prophecy… and kick your worthless ass!!!

[“The Headless Children” by WASP breaks in at the chorus and the billowing white smoke, accompanied by the purple strobe effect behind it, fills the entrance ramp. Triple B explodes through the scene and charges the ring.]

Toby Navel : Seven is irate, and he is bouncing on the spot waiting for Triple B to make his way dow.......

[WHAM!]

Jeremy Tucker : Huge knee clip there by Nick Cairo to Plummer, who completely forgot Cairo was out there after Bill's speech, and Nick had no hesitation in capitalizing.

Toby Navel : Triple B slides into the ring, Cairo nails Plummer with a nice snap suplex, and referee Nick Tsalazidis signals for the bell.

[Ding, ding, ding.]

Jeremy Tucker : And we are officially under way. Triple B now grabs Seven by his "WET" hair, then drops to his back, flipping Plummer over with his feet.

[Cairo ignores Seven, and drops an elbow onto Bill.]

Toby Navel : Clever wrestling there by Nick Cairo, Bill left himself open there and again Cairo wasted no time capitalizing, this could be his night!

Jeremy Tucker : Bill kips back to his feet and Cairo and Bill hook up, Bill digging those long fingers into his neck, and .....

Toby Navel : Plummer with a powerful double clothesline, sends both Bill and Nick to the canvas!

Jeremy Tucker : You know Toby, you have been interrupting me all night long, don't you think its ge.....

Toby Navel : Seven whips Cairo to the ropes, and catches him with a powerslam, then turns it into a Michinoku Driver dropping Cairo right on his head!

[Triple B moving in towards Seven, but Seven see's him coming and hits him with a well aimed drop kick to the shoulder.]

Jeremy Tucker : Nice dropkick there, Plummer is just beautiful to watch in the ring, he can go with any wrestler in the world today!

[Bill kips up, and he and Seven hook up this time, Bill again extending his long fingers into the neck of Seven. WHAM!]

Toby Navel : Big short arm clothesline there from Plummer, and he is seizing control of this match.

Jeremy Tucker : He can smell that gold, and he wants to bring it home.

Andrew Fulton : Let me tell you, that ain't gold he can smell, don't forget, we are in he middle of the showgrounds, all night i have been smelling that horse dung over there (motions towards Jeremy Tucker), and thats not to mention all the ........

Jeremy Tucker : I resent that remark Fulton!

[Jeremy Tucker takes a quick sniff under his pit, while Seven locks a hard arm bar on Bill.]

Toby Navel : God damn, you are right Fulton, you reek Jerry, you really should see someone about that.

Jeremy Tucker : Bill reverses the arm bar into one of his own, and then Seven counters that, into an arm wrench neck breaker (regal cutter).

Toby Navel : What tremendous counter wrestling we are seeing here tonight, by three of the best!

Jeremy Tucker : Nick Cairo up to the top rope, and he flies .......

Toby Navel : Cali-canrana off the top rope to Seven, he hangs on for the pin.

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 .................... 2 .......................... (Plummer breaks the count)

Jeremy Tucker : Cairo and Plummer both making it back to there feet and here comes Triple B, he hooks Cairo in a beautiful swinging neckbreaker, and at the same time, wraps his legs around Seven, drilling him with a head-scissors takedown, unbelievable!

Toby Navel : He executed both at the same time!

Andrew Fulton : He is used of handling two men at once.

Jeremy Tucker : That was totally uncalled for Fulton, you really are a pig sometimes. Triple B grabs Plummer and nails him with a German suplex, right onto Nick Cairo!

Toby Navel : He sure did Jerry! Nick is staggering, and Bill just sent him flying right over the top rope with a thundering spinning heel kick, Bill then drops for a cover on Seven.

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 .................... 2 .......................... (Seven kicks out)

Andrew Fulton : Should of hooked the leg there.

[Nick Cairo slowly getting to his feet on the outside, and Triple B runs full out and flies through the ropes spearing Cairo right into the steel security railing.]

Jeremy Tucker : Sweet Jesus!

Toby Navel : Triple B laying it all on the line tonight, he wants that gold!

Andrew Fulton : They all want it Toby!

Toby Navel : Don't F*** with me Fulton. Bill slowly getting to his feet, and he is dragging Nick Cairo to the ring .......

[WHAM!]

Jeremy Tucker : Adam Plummer with a baseball slide kick, sends both Cairo and Bill right back into the security railing.

Toby Navel : Plummer again taking the advantage in this one, he is wrestling a smart match.

Jeremy Tucker : Seven grabs both men by the hair, and rams there heads together, then slams Triple B head first into the steel barricade!

Andrew Fulton : Taste that steel Bill!

Toby Navel : He is busted open i think, i think Seven just busted open Triple B!

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Nick Tsalazidis is trying to get them back in the ring, and Seven rolls Nick Cairo in and then follows him in there.

[Plummer slides into the ring, and grabs Nick Cairo, but Cairo rolls him up into a small package.]

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............. 2 ................. (Plummer kicks out.)

Toby Navel : A7 bounces up to his feet in a rage, going for a drop kick, but Cairo brushes it aside, catching one of Seven's legs, and elbows him hard in the back of the knee!

Jeremy Tucker : Cairo wasting no time going to work on the knee of Seven, and he plants him with a Flair knee breaker, then sets him up in the tree of woe, and lands some hard shots on the knee.

Toby Navel : Seven stuck up there in the tree of woe, and Cairo just working over the knee, he goes back, measuring A7, and then takes a run up, looking for a baseball slide dropkick, but Seven moves aside, just in time, and Cairo hits nothing but steel post.

[Seven rolls to the outside, grabs both of Cairo's legs, and crutches him on the steel post.]

Andrew Fulton : Ouch!

Jeremy Tucker : Seven has a crazed look in his eyes, and he grabs both of Nick Cairo's legs, and crutches him a second time, then locks him into a figure four, around the ring post!



Toby Navel : Nick Cairo screaming out in pain, and referee Nick Tsalazidis is out there, demanding Seven release the hold, but he is just ignoring him!

[CRACK!]

Jeremy Tucker : Wow, Triple B with a Yakuza kick right to the head of Seven, and if the kick wasn't enough, the back of Seven's head just bounced of the steel ring post with a loud thud!

[Seven drops to the floor in a heap, and Bill rolls him back into the ring.]

Toby Navel : This could be it, Triple B going for a cover on Adam "Seven" Plummer.

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ................... 2 .................. (Nick Cairo breaks the count, just, with a weak lunge.)

Jeremy Tucker : Cairo looks about spent here, he may of just used up all of his energy in breaking that pin, and Bill senses the same, not even bothering to put a move on him, just rolling him up for the cover.

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ..................... 2 ........................ (Nick Cairo kicks out.)

Toby Navel : Remarkable! Cairo still has some fight in him.

[Seven makes it slowly to his feet, and Bill runs off the rope for a running clothesline, but Seven catches his arm, and plants him with a STO.]

Jeremy Tucker : STO by Seven, what resilience shown by him, and all of these men for that matter. Seven flips Bill over onto his back, and locks in a Fujiwara armbar.

Toby Navel : Bill struggling in the armbar, and referee Nick Tsalazidis right in position to see if he submits. Cairo pulling himself to his feet by the ropes, and then is slowly climbing them, the crowd on the edge of there seats watching.

Jeremy Tucker : What a match, this is anyboby's right here, right now!

Andrew Fulton : Just like i will be come 3am later tonight!

Toby Navel : Cairo makes it to the top, and launches with a missile drop kick, but A7 saw him coming, and rolled out of the way.

Jeremy Tucker : Cairo just nailed Triple B with that missile dropkick of the top rope!

[WHAM!]

Toby Navel : Superkick! Plummer just delivered the best superkick i have ever seen to Nick Cairo!

Jeremy Tucker : Triple B making his way to his feet yet again, and he is still bleeding from earlier. Seven grabs him and whips him into the ropes, taking him down with a nice drop toe hold.

Toby Navel : Seven if full control now, the question only remains who he is going to defeat to win the belt.

[Plummer grabs Nick Cairo and flapjacks him, right down ontop of Triple B.]

Jeremy Tucker : Cairo and Bill are lying top to tail, and Seven moves over ontop of them, he reaches down, and grabs Cairo by the legs, pulling him up into a Boston Crab position, then bends down again, and lifts Bill up by the shoulders and neck, underneath Nick, locking him in a Dragon Clutch!

Andrew Fulton : That is the most incredible thing i have ever seen! He has got Nick Cairo in a Boston crab, and Triple B in a Dragon Clutch, both at the same time!

Jeremy Tucker : Nick Cairo is trapped in the Boston crab there, and he cant get out, as Seven is tearing away at Bill's arms and head in that Dragon clutch!

Toby Navel : Its a double submission, and i guess he just answered the question for us, i was wondering who he was going to defeat to win the title, and he just worked out a way to defeat both of them!

Jeremy Tucker : Its not over yet Toby!

[Referee Nick Tsalazidis continues to check in to see if either man submits, and finally, Triple B is able to reach the ropes, by a finger tip.]

Andrew Fulton : Dammit! That should of been it right there!

Toby Navel : Seven grabs bill, and throws him towards the turnbuckle, but incredibly, Triple B runs up the ropes, and bounces back, smashing Seven right in the mush with a dazzling and deadly effective spinning springboard kick.]

Jeremy Tucker : Where does he find the energy?

Toby Navel : He's a professional Jerry, he has been training his whole life for this opportunity.

Andrew Fulton : Wow, he must of been an ambitious kid, wanting to come to this shit hole of a country and win a worthless regional title!

Jeremy Tucker : He is a true competitor! Seven is down from that kick, and Bill grabs Nick Cairo, who looks like he has just about had it, and just like that, he locks on the Dis Locator!

Toby Navel : Dis Locator! Bill has the Dis Locator on Nick Cairo, and Tsalazidis is right there!

[Plummer with all his desperation breaks the hold, just as it looked like Cairo was about to submit.]

Jeremy Tucker : Unbelievable, i thought it was all over there. Seven keeping it going through pure will power alone, and how about the courage of Nick Cairo not to submit to the Dis Locator!

[Triple B going for a roundhouse on A7, but 7 blocks it, and quickly slaps on the Dis locator.]

Toby Navel : Holy Shit! Seven just put Triple B's own Dis Locator on him, dont tell me its going to finish like this!

Jeremy Tucker : Well, Bill invented this hold, if anyone would know a way to counter it, it would be him!

[WHAM!]

Toby Navel : Cairo with a sudden burst of adrenaline, nails Seven with a Shinning Wizard, breaking the hold!

[Cairo rolls Seven up for a cover.]

Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ................... 2 .......................... (Seven rolls the shoulder)

Jeremy Tucker : Still none of these men will give up.

[Nick Cairo grabs A7 and sets him up for a Side Russian Leg Sweep, but Seven blocks it, and rolls through with him into a hyperextended leg lock.]

Andrew Fulton : Magnificent! Cairo in the leg lock in the middle of the ring, with no where to go!

[WHAM!]

Jeremy Tucker : Triple B with a mighty Ax kick to A7, sends him rolling all the way out of the ring!

Toby Navel : There it is, the opening he was waiting on. Bill covered in blood, locks Nick Cairo in the Dis Locator again, and Cairo can hold out no more, and he tells Tsalazidis to end the match.

[Ding, Ding, Ding!]

Jeremy Tucker : Its over, i can't believe it, and what a deserving champion is Triple B, my hats off to him!

[The scene switches back top the back, where we see the EMT's attending to Adrian Tanner, and then Zeus walks out of the room that Tanner was thrown threw, he stands over Tanner, chuckles and then woalks off as the scen goes back to the ring.]

["The Headless Children” by WASP is playing and the crowd is on its feet, giving Triple B a standing ovation.]

Toby Navel : It was Zeus, Zeus was the one who paid Jonnie to bring Tanner to the back after the match!

Jeremy Tucker : Who the hell cares! I cant believe they switched from Triple B's shinning moment for that!

[Scene fades with Triple B holding the Australian Heavyweight title in the air posing for the fans, and camera's flashing all through out the arena.]