Post by Jesse Jamester on Sept 22, 2021 15:07:56 GMT -5
Flashback scene of a 1980s Rasslin’ commercial chimes in; Quality of video production shows those famous white and black static lines cross the screen before the picture comes into focus.
Zooming in, we see the likes of Jesse Jamester, lizard mask and all, sitting behind a desk. Yet to much a surprise, he sports a gray toupee that’s sitting awkwardly on his head. Scanning down we see a fake gray mustache sloping off the nose area of his mask. Decked out in an old pinstripe blue flannel jacket and pink tie, the rather enormous figure of Jesse Jamester who terrorized the division, was anything but serious in this outfit.
Jesse Jamester: “Welcome to the B.D. Mulligan's Rassssslin’ With the Truth from around world! I am your host, B.D. Mulligan! We have got it all for you today, the break down, the hoo-rah, the howdy-ya-doo, and the ‘haps’ as the kids say these days, of the rasslin’ locker rooms from around the globe!”
Pulling a potato out from under the desk, B.D.Mulligan straightens his tie and proceeds to use the potato as a gavel!
B.D Mulligan: “First point of news, we announce the upcoming blood bath that is to be – of Dylan Black versus Eric Dane for the X*F Championship! Some have speculated, that this may very well be the final match of Black’s career. Don’t tell Black that though, he may have second thoughts; we know the X*F Champion has an impressive streak of luck rolling him into this match looking FAR better than he rightfully is!”
Fixing his mustache so it sits lopsided the other direction.
B.D.Mulligan: “His opponent, the Only Star that Matters, has a strong basis of work and momentum recently in Northern Pro Wrestling. Eric Dane captured the Double Crown Championship in historic fashion! No bones about it, this is the must see match of the year—no the century!”
Slamming the potato down again, a chunk of it breaks off as it begins to split. The fist holding it squeezing it, until it pops!
B.D.Mulligan: “BREAKING NEWS! We have been told Joseph Mack and Bryan Chase will be facing the likes of the Towering Duo of Doom, the Thunda Potato God Scott Steel and the Lizard King Jesse Jamester! Ladies and gentlemen tuck your kids in early, this match will not be for the feint of heart! Rasslin’ is bound to be out the door, as these four look to make up for the interruption to the greatest celebration in all of Canada, yes, Chase and Mack interfered in the ceremony of the Double Crown champion Eric Dane, and it will not go unanswered! “
B.D.Mulligan: “Steel has dropped many a foe on their dome piece, and we expect on this night it will be NO different! Jesse Jamester has a lot to prove, being eliminated early from the Rumble, he wants to put a hurting on Mack for his disrespect of the Champion’s defining moment! Inside sources say, these two men have been seen working out together, and terrorizing local gyms, leaving many local workouts with a pile of powerbombed citizens in their wake! When asked to comment on whether the allegations were true, Jesse Jamester simply said, “Gotta train some how.” During a pandemic nonetheless! At what lengths will these two go, well, we know the answer to that – absofuckinlutely any!”
Adjusting his white mustache as it slips down the nose area of his mask, Jesse grabs a small Charlie brown Christmas tree, with a single bulb, two branches, and a wooden ‘x’ holding it up. Slamming it down on the table as the new gavel.
B.D.Mulligan: “There is no love lost here folks, there will be hell to pay, and one way, or another – the disrespect of Joseph Mack and Bryan Chase will be answered for, come Northern Pro Wrestling Does New Years on December 31st! Buy tickets online while supplies last, 20% capacity as usual during these trying times. This was B.D. Mulligan – With all your Rasslin’ news and rumors for the evening, wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!”
Flicking the bulb hanging from the limb, it flies into the camera and the screen goes static again.
[Episode 1]
Zooming in, we see the likes of Jesse Jamester, lizard mask and all, sitting behind a desk. Yet to much a surprise, he sports a gray toupee that’s sitting awkwardly on his head. Scanning down we see a fake gray mustache sloping off the nose area of his mask. Decked out in an old pinstripe blue flannel jacket and pink tie, the rather enormous figure of Jesse Jamester who terrorized the division, was anything but serious in this outfit.
Jesse Jamester: “Welcome to the B.D. Mulligan's Rassssslin’ With the Truth from around world! I am your host, B.D. Mulligan! We have got it all for you today, the break down, the hoo-rah, the howdy-ya-doo, and the ‘haps’ as the kids say these days, of the rasslin’ locker rooms from around the globe!”
Pulling a potato out from under the desk, B.D.Mulligan straightens his tie and proceeds to use the potato as a gavel!
B.D Mulligan: “First point of news, we announce the upcoming blood bath that is to be – of Dylan Black versus Eric Dane for the X*F Championship! Some have speculated, that this may very well be the final match of Black’s career. Don’t tell Black that though, he may have second thoughts; we know the X*F Champion has an impressive streak of luck rolling him into this match looking FAR better than he rightfully is!”
Fixing his mustache so it sits lopsided the other direction.
B.D.Mulligan: “His opponent, the Only Star that Matters, has a strong basis of work and momentum recently in Northern Pro Wrestling. Eric Dane captured the Double Crown Championship in historic fashion! No bones about it, this is the must see match of the year—no the century!”
Slamming the potato down again, a chunk of it breaks off as it begins to split. The fist holding it squeezing it, until it pops!
B.D.Mulligan: “BREAKING NEWS! We have been told Joseph Mack and Bryan Chase will be facing the likes of the Towering Duo of Doom, the Thunda Potato God Scott Steel and the Lizard King Jesse Jamester! Ladies and gentlemen tuck your kids in early, this match will not be for the feint of heart! Rasslin’ is bound to be out the door, as these four look to make up for the interruption to the greatest celebration in all of Canada, yes, Chase and Mack interfered in the ceremony of the Double Crown champion Eric Dane, and it will not go unanswered! “
B.D.Mulligan: “Steel has dropped many a foe on their dome piece, and we expect on this night it will be NO different! Jesse Jamester has a lot to prove, being eliminated early from the Rumble, he wants to put a hurting on Mack for his disrespect of the Champion’s defining moment! Inside sources say, these two men have been seen working out together, and terrorizing local gyms, leaving many local workouts with a pile of powerbombed citizens in their wake! When asked to comment on whether the allegations were true, Jesse Jamester simply said, “Gotta train some how.” During a pandemic nonetheless! At what lengths will these two go, well, we know the answer to that – absofuckinlutely any!”
Adjusting his white mustache as it slips down the nose area of his mask, Jesse grabs a small Charlie brown Christmas tree, with a single bulb, two branches, and a wooden ‘x’ holding it up. Slamming it down on the table as the new gavel.
B.D.Mulligan: “There is no love lost here folks, there will be hell to pay, and one way, or another – the disrespect of Joseph Mack and Bryan Chase will be answered for, come Northern Pro Wrestling Does New Years on December 31st! Buy tickets online while supplies last, 20% capacity as usual during these trying times. This was B.D. Mulligan – With all your Rasslin’ news and rumors for the evening, wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!”
Flicking the bulb hanging from the limb, it flies into the camera and the screen goes static again.
[Episode 1]
