Post by Timeless on Feb 11, 2022 19:42:02 GMT -5
[We see a young 8yo boy bouncing on a trampoline wearing a Bastards t-shirt. As he bounces he spews a heap of obscenities and we see a text scroll at the bottom of the screen reading “This is what you sound like when you swear so much Windsor. An 8yo with TOURETTES!’]
Child : Frank Fucking Windsor is the fucking best. Fucktards!
Fuck the Empire! Fucketiy fuck fuckers!
Fuck!
Cock!
Balls!
Wankers!
Fuck FUCK FUCK!
[We zoom back from the phone Timeless was watching this on and his face has the ‘Ooooo Kayyyy’ expression on it. He then shakes his head. He is wearing his new Empire shirt, its baseball top style and unbuttoned so you can see his god-like torso gleaming with his ‘T’ necklace shining on it like a beacon.]
Timeless : Check it Windsor! I did accept your challenge sport! Gladly! Will do so again right now!
Yeah!
That’s right. If you Bastards can defeat the Empire in our upcoming Street Fight! You can have my title shot!
Now some may say that’s not the smartest move, but I have never been accused of being the smartest tool in the shed! Probably the only thing I haven’t been accused of, but … unlike most pea hearts of today who want to cry and complain when offended and seek to have the history canceled. To me. It’s just water off a duck's back!
You know why?
Cause I am Mr Idontgiveafuck!
[Pec pop.]
That’s not a gimmick. It’s ME!
I say what I want and I am who I am and people can take it or leave it. Normally they will take it, especially if there is something in it for them. I don’t mince words. Want to know where you stand with me, it’s not too hard to work out.
Where do you stand with me Windsor?
Not at the bottom of the Bastards and the weak link like you think others think of you. Although to think others think that you must have thought it somewhere in the back of that big fat head of yours.
No. Actually. I think you are right up there. One tough bastard.
That’s why we choose you to make our mark
Sure, I could have beaten you in the middle of the ring. I will do that too, when I want. I wasn’t lying when I said I don't care about wins or loses. Sir Winsalot wins, when he wants to win. But I thought let’s shake things up. Get this party started.
So, I called my favorite wrestler, and he called his favorite wrestler. And bingo. We got a crew going.
[Pec pop.]
Now onto Knob Riot! You think I have been lost since Primal went on the injury list?
Listen up Jack!
Primal was a great tag team partner and a tough wrestler. Undoubtedly my toughest opponent ever. That's why Prime Time made such a great team. But!
As I said before.
Timeless and …. ‘anyone’ is a great tag team.
I am a previous Anzac Cup winner after all.
I hear you Bastards have declared yourselves entrants. Perhaps we will meet there also.
But as tough as Primal was … know this for FACT!
Before Timeless gave him the time of day! No one knew or cared who the hell he was!
NO ONE!
And lost since he’s been gone?
Please.
I just beat a god damn live Croc! In the center of the ring!
I just won a DC Title Shot!
I am the number one contender!
Have been calling out Jay Jay (Timeless loves pronouncing that name like the name of a young girls privates) since the day he decided to be John Wayne and big note himself on my exit from the Xtreme H$%# Federation!
Ohhh … that’s the day you Bastards ‘Steven Bradburied’ your way to Prime Time’s Tag Gold. Got lucky and won it you said? No Shit! (remember Bradbury? The guy who won the gold medal at the ice skating when the rest of the field fell over)
Speaking of ‘Jay Jay’. Get with the program man. You just can’t stay out of what doesn’t concern you, can you?
When you make a promise to your child, you are meant to keep it. Julius is a good kid. He and I bonded at the hospital. I decided to take him under my wing. Did I put pressure on him to join us in forming the Empire? No. He has his own way to go. I respect that. He is trying to be YOU! For whatever reason that is!
But, despite that, I like the kid. We went out there to cheer him on. You just couldn’t handle seeing that. Could YOU?
You had to come out and be the big man!
[Timeless puffs his chest out and puts on an old cowboy John Wayne hat and goes into a Jay Jay impersonation. Every Timeless impersonation is the same goofy deep mocking voice.]
If anyone is gonna cost my boy a match, by god, it's going to be me!
Timeless : (slow clapping) Well done Jay Jay. You sure accomplished that.
[Pec pop.]
We are the Empire!
We like to Root and we make all the Loot!
We take out the Trash, and collect all the Cash!
We break your heart and tear you apart!
We make Stacks and break backs!
I’ll rupture your spleen and knock you out clean!
I am the Ultimate Male Supreme!
Every breathing Woman’s Wet Dream!
A God Damn Wrestling Machine!
Ya got it Mutha Fucka!
Child : Frank Fucking Windsor is the fucking best. Fucktards!
Fuck the Empire! Fucketiy fuck fuckers!
Fuck!
Cock!
Balls!
Wankers!
Fuck FUCK FUCK!
[We zoom back from the phone Timeless was watching this on and his face has the ‘Ooooo Kayyyy’ expression on it. He then shakes his head. He is wearing his new Empire shirt, its baseball top style and unbuttoned so you can see his god-like torso gleaming with his ‘T’ necklace shining on it like a beacon.]
Timeless : Check it Windsor! I did accept your challenge sport! Gladly! Will do so again right now!
Yeah!
That’s right. If you Bastards can defeat the Empire in our upcoming Street Fight! You can have my title shot!
Now some may say that’s not the smartest move, but I have never been accused of being the smartest tool in the shed! Probably the only thing I haven’t been accused of, but … unlike most pea hearts of today who want to cry and complain when offended and seek to have the history canceled. To me. It’s just water off a duck's back!
You know why?
Cause I am Mr Idontgiveafuck!
[Pec pop.]
That’s not a gimmick. It’s ME!
I say what I want and I am who I am and people can take it or leave it. Normally they will take it, especially if there is something in it for them. I don’t mince words. Want to know where you stand with me, it’s not too hard to work out.
Where do you stand with me Windsor?
Not at the bottom of the Bastards and the weak link like you think others think of you. Although to think others think that you must have thought it somewhere in the back of that big fat head of yours.
No. Actually. I think you are right up there. One tough bastard.
That’s why we choose you to make our mark
Sure, I could have beaten you in the middle of the ring. I will do that too, when I want. I wasn’t lying when I said I don't care about wins or loses. Sir Winsalot wins, when he wants to win. But I thought let’s shake things up. Get this party started.
So, I called my favorite wrestler, and he called his favorite wrestler. And bingo. We got a crew going.
[Pec pop.]
Now onto Knob Riot! You think I have been lost since Primal went on the injury list?
Listen up Jack!
Primal was a great tag team partner and a tough wrestler. Undoubtedly my toughest opponent ever. That's why Prime Time made such a great team. But!
As I said before.
Timeless and …. ‘anyone’ is a great tag team.
I am a previous Anzac Cup winner after all.
I hear you Bastards have declared yourselves entrants. Perhaps we will meet there also.
But as tough as Primal was … know this for FACT!
Before Timeless gave him the time of day! No one knew or cared who the hell he was!
NO ONE!
And lost since he’s been gone?
Please.
I just beat a god damn live Croc! In the center of the ring!
I just won a DC Title Shot!
I am the number one contender!
Have been calling out Jay Jay (Timeless loves pronouncing that name like the name of a young girls privates) since the day he decided to be John Wayne and big note himself on my exit from the Xtreme H$%# Federation!
Ohhh … that’s the day you Bastards ‘Steven Bradburied’ your way to Prime Time’s Tag Gold. Got lucky and won it you said? No Shit! (remember Bradbury? The guy who won the gold medal at the ice skating when the rest of the field fell over)
Speaking of ‘Jay Jay’. Get with the program man. You just can’t stay out of what doesn’t concern you, can you?
When you make a promise to your child, you are meant to keep it. Julius is a good kid. He and I bonded at the hospital. I decided to take him under my wing. Did I put pressure on him to join us in forming the Empire? No. He has his own way to go. I respect that. He is trying to be YOU! For whatever reason that is!
But, despite that, I like the kid. We went out there to cheer him on. You just couldn’t handle seeing that. Could YOU?
You had to come out and be the big man!
[Timeless puffs his chest out and puts on an old cowboy John Wayne hat and goes into a Jay Jay impersonation. Every Timeless impersonation is the same goofy deep mocking voice.]
If anyone is gonna cost my boy a match, by god, it's going to be me!
Timeless : (slow clapping) Well done Jay Jay. You sure accomplished that.
[Pec pop.]
We are the Empire!
We like to Root and we make all the Loot!
We take out the Trash, and collect all the Cash!
We break your heart and tear you apart!
We make Stacks and break backs!
I’ll rupture your spleen and knock you out clean!
I am the Ultimate Male Supreme!
Every breathing Woman’s Wet Dream!
A God Damn Wrestling Machine!
Ya got it Mutha Fucka!
