Post by MongotheDestroyer on Sept 4, 2021 3:16:52 GMT -5
[We open to the jam packed AMAZONS ARENA in Manhattan New York. ]
[Nightmare Blares and the camera pans the crowd, there are signs everywhere including Im a Paul Soutter Guy, "Sorry....Not Sorry", "Disneyland? Been around Since How Long", Therapist here, Hit the bricks One show wonders, (next to that) Thats as many as the other hot shots can produce, COMBINED!, Amazon Jungle Hip hop dance off victimised the male entrants, belittled mankind, GTFOOH!, No need for WAR. Established in 1999, "Savvvvvage", "Phoenix owns you!"]
[Wise Guy hits and Joe Pesci makes his way down to the ring.]
Joe Pesci : Ok. Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok.
Welcome to REALITY BITES!!!!
Man, they really set this place up NICE! So, tonight, we got a show of a different type for you all. We are delving into the world of Reality TV, and we are going to show them how to do it, SWAT STYLE!!!
We got two very special guests to join me here tonight in adjudicating these competitions, first, a man who needs no introduction .... GORDON RAMSAY!!!!
Joe Pesci : Welcome Gordon, great to have you as a part of the SWAT family. And, our other judge for the evening, our very own Reality TV expert .... ROXY!!!
[Roxy makes her way down the rampway, she looks amazing, she hugs Ramsay in an almost too friendly embrace, and then the same for Joe, Joe lingers and she somehow unwraps herself from him, in an expert move that makes you think she can wiggle away from anyone if she can him.]
Joe Pesci : Welcome to the AMAZONS Roxy!
Roxy : Great to be here Joe. Boy, i am looking forward to these games!
Joe Pesci : Arent we all, but before we get to them, i am told you have a special announcement to make.
Roxy : You know it Joey!
Joe Pesci : So, what is it? Your signing on with the Amazons?
Roxy : Ohhh, god no. No offence of course, my SWAT time is pretty full working with Timeless and all, and now i also have signed on with Mr Viper at SWAT Backyard, so no, i dont have time to be hanging here with the Amazons.
Joe Pesci : Right, of course .... so .... what is it?
Roxy : Well Joe. I am a great fan of Reality TV, thus being hand picked to judge here tonight, and i am glad to announce, that very soon, i will be appearing on MARRIED AT FIRST SITE!
[Crowd woop and holla.]
Joe Pesci : Wow! You dont say. They dont know what they are getting in for! Make sure fans to check it out when it goes to air! But now, we got our own show to get under way.
[The lights go dark all throughout the arena and the SWAT Tron lights up showing Candice Morelli and Joey Morelli standing in the back. The beginning of Party Rockers Anthem can be heard and then we see Redfoo and his partner from LMFAO appear in the back beside Joey and Candice. Lets call his partner Marty Jannety, we dont know his name and it doesnt matter what it is really. Redfoo pulls out some ear buds and passes them to Joey and Candice and tells them to play along, as they do, a heap of Shuffling Zombies can be seen swarming into the back room. Dragonatrix, Kathleen Parks and Michelle Williams are gathered looking at all the shufflers and they get swarmed by them, as they pull back, shuffling, the three commentators are turned and are now shuffling with all the other zombies.
Redfoo nods to them saying, SEE and then starts to shuffle himself, his partner and then Joey and Candice join them in the dance, and they Shuffle their way onto the ramp way and down the aisle, the four of them shuffling away, the song now blaring, all the shuffling zombies behind them also dancing away. Joey and Candice go take a seat with the judges while Redfoo and Marty go over to a DJ booty set up on the side.
Michelle Williams: Right now we have a cook off between Tornado Red and Evil Lynn!
Dragontrix: I don't know what the Morelli's think they are doing here.
Kathleen Parks: Who knows? There is a third station set up.
Redfoo: Yo', it's about that time to hear..the rhythm and the rhyme...this is Toooooooornado REEEEEEDDD!!
[Tornado Red comes with her Redish hair, black boots, long red dress with slits hip high. She is wearing a red apron that says SWAT on the front. She goes to her cooking station and has a confused look on her face.
Gordon Ramsey: Oh my god, she looks horrified, like she hasn't seen a kitchen in her life!
Roxy: She probably hasn't. She's an AMAZON, not a cook.
Joe Pesci: Hey, fake it until you make it, right?
Gordon Ramsay: Oh, shit. This is going to be a shit storm!
Roxy Let's go back to the girls.
Michelle Williams: I hope Red took them cooking classes she said she would all week.
Dragontrix: For our judges sake..me too.
Kathleen Parks: That's Gordon Ramsay she is serving!
Michelle Williams :]/b] If she did take the class, she is already officially a more qualified Chef than a Wrestler!
Redfoo: Now making her way into SWAT KITCHEN...EVVVVVVIL LYYYYYYYNNN!
]https://youtube.com/watch?v=8j5cO_KNZ8s]
[Out comes Evil Lynn wearing a black apron that says SWAT on it. She goes to her cooking station. Ramsay gets up and goes to a counter in front of them. There is a silver serving dish with a silver serving top.]
Gordon Ramsay: Okay you too. As you were informed, you must make something with the secret ingredient Im about to give. The winner will be the best dish we choose. Are you two ready? Your secret ingredient is...
[He lifts the tip off the serving dish..]
Gordon Ramsay: Lobster! You have half an hour to make the most succulent lobster dish I have ever tasted..your time starts..now!
[Both Evil Lynn and Red run up and grab the lobster and put it in slow boiling water.]
[Red begins by opening a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese she brought as her secret ingredient from home. Next Brings water to boil in medium saucepan. Adds the Macaroni; cooks 7 to 8 min. or until tender, stirring occasionally. Drains (Do not rinse.) Returns macaroni to pan then adds 1/4 of a cup of margarine, 1/2 cup of milk and Cheese Sauce Mix; mix well.]
Gordon Ramsay: Did she just open a box of Macaroni and Cheese? Oh, good God!
Joe Pesci: Not just any brand. She went all out. She used Kraft!
Joey Morelli: One of my favorites growing up.
Candice Morelli: Growing up? You still eat that.
Roxy: I wonder what Evil Lynn is making?
Gordon Ramsay : Evil Lynn is pouring all sorts of herbs and vials into the pot, the lobster is simmering and she is stirring it with a laddel.
Joe Pesci : Another freaken WITCH! I am NOT eating any witch craft made shit!
Roxy : What if it tastes good Joe?
Gordon Ramsay :I got a feeling the winner of this wont be the best tasting, but the one that doesnt kill us.
Joe Pesci : Steam is changing color over there on Lynns station, can that Lobster come back to life?
Roxy : (singing) This station is not operational!
Gordon Ramsay : Something tells me Joe, that you have put plenty worse things than what they will dish up in your mouth.
Joe Pesci : Watch it Ramsay!
Roxy : HEY! FIRE!!!!!!! Reds station is on fire!
[Smoke is coming everywhere from Tornado Reds station, flames starting to grow, Ramsay rushes over there and grabs a handy Fire Hydrant and puts it out.]
Gordon Ramsay : What the Fuck are you doing? Trying to burn the arena down?
Joe Pesci : O Man. This is getting ugly.
Candice : Thats her life Uncle Joe, ugly.
Joey Morelli : Something told me these two fanooks would screw up here tonight, so, just for you Uncle Joe, Candice and myself made you some special meat ball sauce.
[Joey produces from under the table a pre made batch of the best damn meat ball sauce this side of Italy.]
Roxy : Can i get some of that Joey?
Joey Morelli : Thats what she said.
Gordon Ramsay : (sitting back down at the table in the ring, checking out the meat ball sauce) Now this is a surprise. My my. Delicious!
Joe Pesci : More than i can say for this slop!
[Pesci flings the plate of burnt Lobster Macaroni Red has produced across the ring and it covers Redfoos LMFAO partner.]
Roxy : Lets see what Lynn has come up with already.
[Lynn brings her Lobster over and it is green and purple. Looks like it may be poison.]
Gordon Ramsay : (takes a bite, a sour look on his face) Well, Miss Evil Lynn. I am about to tell you three words i am quite sure have never been spoken to you before, or are likely to ever again. Stick_To_Wrestling!
Joe Pesci : Winner of the Cook Off! EVIL LYNN!
[Lynn raises her arms in victory and Red rams a plate of burnt macaroni and cheese lobster into her face. Lynn is blinded and furious, and Red grabs her by the hair and X Factors her down into a plate of the slop, then she tips the rest of her pan on her. Lightning runs down to the ring to Lynns aid but Red high tails it into the crowd.]
[Nightmare Blares and the camera pans the crowd, there are signs everywhere including Im a Paul Soutter Guy, "Sorry....Not Sorry", "Disneyland? Been around Since How Long", Therapist here, Hit the bricks One show wonders, (next to that) Thats as many as the other hot shots can produce, COMBINED!, Amazon Jungle Hip hop dance off victimised the male entrants, belittled mankind, GTFOOH!, No need for WAR. Established in 1999, "Savvvvvage", "Phoenix owns you!"]
[Wise Guy hits and Joe Pesci makes his way down to the ring.]
Joe Pesci : Ok. Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok.
Welcome to REALITY BITES!!!!
Man, they really set this place up NICE! So, tonight, we got a show of a different type for you all. We are delving into the world of Reality TV, and we are going to show them how to do it, SWAT STYLE!!!
We got two very special guests to join me here tonight in adjudicating these competitions, first, a man who needs no introduction .... GORDON RAMSAY!!!!
Joe Pesci : Welcome Gordon, great to have you as a part of the SWAT family. And, our other judge for the evening, our very own Reality TV expert .... ROXY!!!
[Roxy makes her way down the rampway, she looks amazing, she hugs Ramsay in an almost too friendly embrace, and then the same for Joe, Joe lingers and she somehow unwraps herself from him, in an expert move that makes you think she can wiggle away from anyone if she can him.]
Joe Pesci : Welcome to the AMAZONS Roxy!
Roxy : Great to be here Joe. Boy, i am looking forward to these games!
Joe Pesci : Arent we all, but before we get to them, i am told you have a special announcement to make.
Roxy : You know it Joey!
Joe Pesci : So, what is it? Your signing on with the Amazons?
Roxy : Ohhh, god no. No offence of course, my SWAT time is pretty full working with Timeless and all, and now i also have signed on with Mr Viper at SWAT Backyard, so no, i dont have time to be hanging here with the Amazons.
Joe Pesci : Right, of course .... so .... what is it?
Roxy : Well Joe. I am a great fan of Reality TV, thus being hand picked to judge here tonight, and i am glad to announce, that very soon, i will be appearing on MARRIED AT FIRST SITE!
[Crowd woop and holla.]
Joe Pesci : Wow! You dont say. They dont know what they are getting in for! Make sure fans to check it out when it goes to air! But now, we got our own show to get under way.
[The lights go dark all throughout the arena and the SWAT Tron lights up showing Candice Morelli and Joey Morelli standing in the back. The beginning of Party Rockers Anthem can be heard and then we see Redfoo and his partner from LMFAO appear in the back beside Joey and Candice. Lets call his partner Marty Jannety, we dont know his name and it doesnt matter what it is really. Redfoo pulls out some ear buds and passes them to Joey and Candice and tells them to play along, as they do, a heap of Shuffling Zombies can be seen swarming into the back room. Dragonatrix, Kathleen Parks and Michelle Williams are gathered looking at all the shufflers and they get swarmed by them, as they pull back, shuffling, the three commentators are turned and are now shuffling with all the other zombies.
Redfoo nods to them saying, SEE and then starts to shuffle himself, his partner and then Joey and Candice join them in the dance, and they Shuffle their way onto the ramp way and down the aisle, the four of them shuffling away, the song now blaring, all the shuffling zombies behind them also dancing away. Joey and Candice go take a seat with the judges while Redfoo and Marty go over to a DJ booty set up on the side.
Michelle Williams: Right now we have a cook off between Tornado Red and Evil Lynn!
Dragontrix: I don't know what the Morelli's think they are doing here.
Kathleen Parks: Who knows? There is a third station set up.
Redfoo: Yo', it's about that time to hear..the rhythm and the rhyme...this is Toooooooornado REEEEEEDDD!!
[Tornado Red comes with her Redish hair, black boots, long red dress with slits hip high. She is wearing a red apron that says SWAT on the front. She goes to her cooking station and has a confused look on her face.
Gordon Ramsey: Oh my god, she looks horrified, like she hasn't seen a kitchen in her life!
Roxy: She probably hasn't. She's an AMAZON, not a cook.
Joe Pesci: Hey, fake it until you make it, right?
Gordon Ramsay: Oh, shit. This is going to be a shit storm!
Roxy Let's go back to the girls.
Michelle Williams: I hope Red took them cooking classes she said she would all week.
Dragontrix: For our judges sake..me too.
Kathleen Parks: That's Gordon Ramsay she is serving!
Michelle Williams :]/b] If she did take the class, she is already officially a more qualified Chef than a Wrestler!
Redfoo: Now making her way into SWAT KITCHEN...EVVVVVVIL LYYYYYYYNNN!
]https://youtube.com/watch?v=8j5cO_KNZ8s]
[Out comes Evil Lynn wearing a black apron that says SWAT on it. She goes to her cooking station. Ramsay gets up and goes to a counter in front of them. There is a silver serving dish with a silver serving top.]
Gordon Ramsay: Okay you too. As you were informed, you must make something with the secret ingredient Im about to give. The winner will be the best dish we choose. Are you two ready? Your secret ingredient is...
[He lifts the tip off the serving dish..]
Gordon Ramsay: Lobster! You have half an hour to make the most succulent lobster dish I have ever tasted..your time starts..now!
[Both Evil Lynn and Red run up and grab the lobster and put it in slow boiling water.]
[Red begins by opening a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese she brought as her secret ingredient from home. Next Brings water to boil in medium saucepan. Adds the Macaroni; cooks 7 to 8 min. or until tender, stirring occasionally. Drains (Do not rinse.) Returns macaroni to pan then adds 1/4 of a cup of margarine, 1/2 cup of milk and Cheese Sauce Mix; mix well.]
Gordon Ramsay: Did she just open a box of Macaroni and Cheese? Oh, good God!
Joe Pesci: Not just any brand. She went all out. She used Kraft!
Joey Morelli: One of my favorites growing up.
Candice Morelli: Growing up? You still eat that.
Roxy: I wonder what Evil Lynn is making?
Gordon Ramsay : Evil Lynn is pouring all sorts of herbs and vials into the pot, the lobster is simmering and she is stirring it with a laddel.
Joe Pesci : Another freaken WITCH! I am NOT eating any witch craft made shit!
Roxy : What if it tastes good Joe?
Gordon Ramsay :I got a feeling the winner of this wont be the best tasting, but the one that doesnt kill us.
Joe Pesci : Steam is changing color over there on Lynns station, can that Lobster come back to life?
Roxy : (singing) This station is not operational!
Gordon Ramsay : Something tells me Joe, that you have put plenty worse things than what they will dish up in your mouth.
Joe Pesci : Watch it Ramsay!
Roxy : HEY! FIRE!!!!!!! Reds station is on fire!
[Smoke is coming everywhere from Tornado Reds station, flames starting to grow, Ramsay rushes over there and grabs a handy Fire Hydrant and puts it out.]
Gordon Ramsay : What the Fuck are you doing? Trying to burn the arena down?
Joe Pesci : O Man. This is getting ugly.
Candice : Thats her life Uncle Joe, ugly.
Joey Morelli : Something told me these two fanooks would screw up here tonight, so, just for you Uncle Joe, Candice and myself made you some special meat ball sauce.
[Joey produces from under the table a pre made batch of the best damn meat ball sauce this side of Italy.]
Roxy : Can i get some of that Joey?
Joey Morelli : Thats what she said.
Gordon Ramsay : (sitting back down at the table in the ring, checking out the meat ball sauce) Now this is a surprise. My my. Delicious!
Joe Pesci : More than i can say for this slop!
[Pesci flings the plate of burnt Lobster Macaroni Red has produced across the ring and it covers Redfoos LMFAO partner.]
Roxy : Lets see what Lynn has come up with already.
[Lynn brings her Lobster over and it is green and purple. Looks like it may be poison.]
Gordon Ramsay : (takes a bite, a sour look on his face) Well, Miss Evil Lynn. I am about to tell you three words i am quite sure have never been spoken to you before, or are likely to ever again. Stick_To_Wrestling!
Joe Pesci : Winner of the Cook Off! EVIL LYNN!
[Lynn raises her arms in victory and Red rams a plate of burnt macaroni and cheese lobster into her face. Lynn is blinded and furious, and Red grabs her by the hair and X Factors her down into a plate of the slop, then she tips the rest of her pan on her. Lightning runs down to the ring to Lynns aid but Red high tails it into the crowd.]
