Post by MongotheDestroyer on Sept 5, 2021 20:51:13 GMT -5
[Get Free by The Vines hits, and the scene opens up to show the Dandenong Basketball Stadium in Melbourne, Australia. The hall is not full, but there is a good 500 fans in the crowd, and they are pumped, with a chant of "NO ...... MANS ...... LAND!", there is also a few signs in the crowd, which include : "Down Under Derby", "Javert goes Down Under ..... for the three count!", "Hellhounds = ratings!", "The Goodfellas- Plane tickets to australia: $1500. Housing Costs: $300. Owning Joke Porter: Priceless.", A group of fans are wearing raincoats and plastic coverings to sheild the blood with a long sign that says "Hellhound Cheering Section", "Push Tito", "Jonnie Knocked Me Up", "Plummers are the new Von Erich's" with a bullet shattering a skull, "Soutter Ate My Nachoes", "Zeus' Agent Sucks", Two signs looking like headstones that read "Nick Cairo and Adam Plummer RIP", "Incredible Who?" and "Goodfella's rule!". The shot pans through all them, then crosses to the commentating booth.]
Jeremy Tucker : WELCOME TO NO MANS LAND!!!
Toby Navel : Wow, I'm jacked, what a night we got coming up!
Jeremy Tucker : Some big matches tonight folks, thats for sure, Murdock / Porter, Tanner / Mars, and lets not forget the main event, any of these matches could go either way!
Andrew Fulton : And what about the other "epics", Zeus / Diablo, and Triple B vs Hillbilly Joe!
Toby Navel : I'd be surprised if a few of them guys will still be with us after tonight, we got people wanting to come down to Australia left and right, and they can't get a shot because of whelps like a couple of them, no, i have heard, there will be cuts made to the roster, and it don't take a genius to work out Triple B and Zeus wont be among them!
Andrew Fulton : How lucky for you that is!
Jeremy Tucker : Lets also not forget that we are less than a month away now from our first big ppv, Down Under Derby, we only got two NML's left, on the 12th and 21st of Sept, and then its all hands on deck for the big one!
Toby Navel : Can't wait!
Andrew Fulton : Unlike this match!
Jeremy Tucker : Give 'em a chance will ya Fulton!
Frank Salazar : Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson, TITO!
[Tito comes out onto the rampway, no music, and makes his way down to the ring with Rally trailing just behind him.]
Frank Salazar : And his opponent, JAVERT!!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Sorry folks, Javert is about to make his way to the ring, but i am getting a message right now that something is going on in the back, lets go take a look!
[Scene switches from the ring, to the back where we see The Goodfella's James Murdock and Adrian Tanner Jr arriving at the back of the Dandenong Basketball stadium, them make there way in the back, and notice Jake Porter standing at the notice board, looking over the nights card, a foam cup in his hand.]
Toby Navel : Ohh O, this doesn't bode well for Porter, Tanner and Murdock look at each other, and smile, then both charge Porter, sending him head first through the plaster wall!
Jeremy Tucker : SWEET JESUS!
[Murdock and Tanner lift up a motionless Porter, and drag him off with them, the camera zooms in for a close up of the wall, with a big hole in it from Jake's head, and then we go back to the ring, where Javert is now in the ring, and he and Tito are exchanging lefts and rights.]
Toby Navel : We're back at ringside folks, and this one is under way!
Jeremy Tucker : Tito reaches back, and clocks Javert with a huge right, sending him hard to the mat!
Andrew Fulton : Go Tito! Finish this chump off, i want to see where The Goodfella's are taking Porter!
[Javert gets to his feet, and Tito catches him and takes him over with a Jay Leno arm drag special!]
Jeremy Tucker : Javert gets back up to his feet again, and Tito goes to throw him into the ropes, but then Javert reverses it, and whips Tito into the ropes, who bounces off, and
[WHAM!]
Jeremy Tucker : Tito nails Javert with a huge Lawrence Taylor shoulder block!
Toby Navel : We all know Tito loves the celebrities moves, but he really can go in there, last week he added the superkick to his repertoire, i wonder what we will see this week?
Andrew Fulton : As long as it ain't nothing from Master P!
Jeremy Tucker : Master P? (shudders)
[Tito slugs Javert right in the mush with a sweet Superkick.]
Toby Navel : SUPERKICK! Tito with the superkick, this one is all over as Tito drops for the cover!
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ................. 2 ................... (Tito picks Javert up from the mat.)
Andrew Fulton : He kicked out? What the heck is going on?
Toby Navel : Yeah, right Fulton, we all know he lifted him up there, don't know which celebrity he got that one from, but you would think Rally would of told him when you d that, then there is a 95% chance you will end up loosing the match!
Andrew Fulton : Like Rally would ever let that happen, there is no way he could let his best bud loose to someone like Javert, did you see this clown last week, trying to screw Ruthless L Reeve leaving him to the Hellhounds, then turning his back on them, please!
Jeremy Tucker : Yeah, and then Commiss Brown didn't seem to happy with Javert, and next week, we will see him and Mars going at it, god help him!
Andrew Fulton : Which god? We got about ten in the fed!
Toby Navel : Well, i saw in the promo's that Ruthless L Reeve was wanting in that match, demanding to be put in it actually!
Andrew Fulton : Pity for Reeve he dont make the matches around here!
Jeremy Tucker : Javert down, and Tito going up to the top rope.
[BOOM!]
Toby Navel : Huge Elbow drop from the top!
Jeremy Tucker : Tito with the cover .......
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ..................... 2 ...................... 3!!!!!
Frank Salazar : The winner of the match, TITO!!!!!!!!
[The scene switches to Commissioner Browns office, where we see the Commiss talking on the phone.]
Commiss Brown : So, i'll mail the contract out in the mornings mail, everything is set, all you need to do is sign the bottom line, and send it back.
Mystery Voice : No doubt about it, my name will be on the F*cken line!
-----------------
Jeremy Tucker: Well were here for the next match of tonights No Mans Land!!!
Andrew Fulton: Yeah straight from the land of brainless surfers and jumping hoping kangaroos.
Toby Navel: Yeah and Crocodile Dundee!!! Im so excited!
Andrew Fulton: I was being sarcastic ugh forget it.
[The lights in the arena go black except for a spot light shinning on the entranceway, and smoke starts to rise off. Thunderstruck by AC/DC starts playing. As the smoke hits the Ring Syn-Tron the rest of the tornado is shown. At the first thunderstruck, a lighting bolt hits the spot where the smoke started. The tornado stops and Zeus appears sitting there on his bike. After Zeus rides to the ring he slides in under the ropes, he walks to the center of the ring. Raises one arm then slams it down. Lighting bolts come down onto all four-ring posts and white pyrotechnics comes out of the ring posts]
Frank Salazar: THIS IS A CONTEST SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! COMING FIRST TO THE RING FROM HOLLYWOOD CALIFORNIA! WEIGHING IN THREE-HUNDRED TWENTYFIVE POUNDSS AND STANDING TALL AT SIX FEET WITH SIX INCHES! NIIIIKOLAASSSS ZEEEEUSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Toby Navel: [amazed] What an entrance.
Jeremy Tucker: A lot of fireworks and special effects, lets see if he can wrestle.
Toby Navel: Of course he can wrestle I mean he looks like Big Poppa Pump, Triple H and Brock together in one piece!
Andrew Fulton: Yep, exactly like the big boulders that come down running over those Japanese clowns in Spike TVs Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. You know what? Theyre made from foam.
Toby Navel: Meaning?
Jeremy Tucker: Meaning maybe he is not what he looks like. Lets see a recap from his match last weeks at No Mans Land
{Start VTR-
Toby Navel: Mars is waiting for Zeus to get up!
Jeremy Tucker: BIG BOOT!
[Mars dives for cover]
Jeremy Tucker: 1.....2.... No!
[Mars is screaming. He lifts Zeus up]
Toby Navel: APOCALYPSE!!!
[Mars executes the body vise into a brainbuster bomb]
Jeremy Tucker: Now cover! 1.....2......3!!!!!
[Bell rings]
Frank Salazar: Your winner, as a result of a pinfall, Mars!
[Referee Jimmy Coy raises Mars's arm]
Jeremy Tucker: Mars won this, hands down!
Toby Navel: Now Mars is celebrating in the ring!
[Jake Porter comes in from the crowd. He nails Mars with a chair!]
Jeremy Tucker: What's this?! Porter?!
Toby Navel: He just took him out!
[Porter sets the chair up and then executes the Play of the Week on the chair]
Jeremy Tucker: The chair broke!
Toby Navel: Porter's not too pleased about the earlier assault!
Jeremy Tucker: Nope, not at all!
-End VTR}
Andrew Fulton: Dont talk for me punk head. I mean maybe HE IS what he looks like. Coming down in a bike dressed up like an American Bad Ass from the 80s having pyrotechnics coming out off the four ring posts when he slams his arm down Jesus Christ lets not step in his yard because he is the big no mask machine!!! I hate Australia.
Jeremy Tucker: Your always emanating motivation Fulton. Good wrestler or not, Zeuss attitude sucks big time anyway.
Toby Navel: Well, even if his attitude sucks, I think he has great potential.
Jeremy Tucker: Who? Zeus or Fulton?
Andrew Fulton: Dont you dare compare my personality with his.
[Hell Bells by AC/DC hums through out the arena as Diablo gets a mixed reaction from the crowd]
Frank Salazar: AND HIS OPPONENT! COMING TO THE RING
Andrew Fulton: WE DONT CARE FRANK, SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND LETS START THIS F*CKING MATCH!
Jeremy Tucker: Thats what I call a big ego stocked in the frontal lobule. Now hes starting to give orders.
Andrew Fulton: Your wife doesnt complain when I command her to do whatever I want, you know, a position or a blow
Jeremy Tucker: DONT MESS WITH MY WIFE YOU SON OF A .
Toby Navel: [interrupting] Well thats Diablo, what means Devil in Spanish!
Andrew Fulton: I bet you spent hours trying to figure out that.
Toby Navel: Why are you always in such a defensive mode? It is because you know Im the one thatll replace you down the line?
Andrew Fulton: You replacing me? You couldnt replace someone as invaluable as the janitor, or Jerry in that case.
Jeremy Tucker: F*ck you Fulton.
[El Atlético, the official referee, signals to start the match]
DING! DING! DONG!
Toby Navel: Both competitors quickly lock up in the middle of the ring trying to over power each other!
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus out powers Diablo pushing him all the way to the corner. El Atlético orders them to break up and they slowly start to, but Zeus takes advantage of the situation with rights to Diablos head.
Toby Novel: Now chops to the chest by Zeus! WHOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!! And other! WHOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!! And other!!! WHOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew Fulton: Youre a disgrace.
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus whips Diablo to the opposite corner with fury. Nikolas runs right after him but is stopped with a kick to the face! Diablo runs and attacks but is caught with a perfectly executed Belly-to-belly Suplex!
Andrew Fulton: Yeah and Diablo selling the back like if he was hit with a sledgehammer in the spine.
Toby Navel: Zeus traps Diablo in a sleeper headlock close to the mat. Adding more and more pressure to private his brain from the normal blood flow.
Andrew Fulton: What the hell are you now? A doctor?
Toby Navel: Now Im just
Jeremy Tucker: Diablo is trying to stand up and see if he still has a chance to defeat his opponent. Succeeds and starts throwing elbows to Zeuss gut. Diablo pushes Zeus off of him hard and Zeus runs to the ropes coming back with a tremendous clothesline!
Toby Navel: THAT ALMOST TOOK HIS HEAD OFF! OH MY!
Jeremy Tucker: Wasnt so great Toby. Elbow drop to Diablos throat!
Andrew Fulton: Oh let me know whenever he starts doing push-ups and jumping jacks to laugh my ass out.
Toby Navel: No aerobics Fulton. Zeus pulls Diablo up to his feet and sends him back to where he came from with a vertical suplex.
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus is already playing with Diablo. I guess Diablo is not ready yet to fight against the finest athletes of sports-entertainment here in Australia.
Andrew Fulton: Oh, where are they?
Toby Navel: Oh, leg drop from Zeus straight to Diablos forehead! He is out!
El Atlético: One Two ..Thre (Shoulder up by T. Diablo!!!)
Jeremy Tucker: He is still with us; that surprises me. I dont know if Diablo made the best decision when he lifted that shoulder anyway. It may be worse vicious kicks from Zeus to Diablos chest! I think Zeus didnt like Diablo being still alive at all.
Toby Navel: Zeus pulls up Diablo again, but this time all the way up to a pre press slam position! Wait a Diablo slipped behind Zeus and applies a standing sleeper hold immediately!
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus pushes his way backward to the corner, smashing Diablo between him and the turnbuckle!
Toby Navel: Diablo loses the hold and Zeus uses the convenience of the position to lift Diablo in a face-first Razors Edge, or it is an inverted crucifix powerbomb position?
Andrew Fulton: Ugh
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus rocks El Diablos world a killer Tombstone Piledriver from the previous position!
Toby Navel: THE WRATH OF ZEUS! THE WRATH OF ZEUS! ZEUS JUST DESTROYED DIABLO WITH HIS WRATH!!!
Andrew Fulton: ITS KANE! ITS KANE! ITS KANE! IM OUT OF HERE TO DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE BEFORE THE DEADMAN WALKING MAKES ME THROW UP IN DISGUST!
Toby Navel: Hey Fulton, Im just enjoying the action.
Jeremy Tucker: Ignore him Toby, he probably has sexual dysfunctional problems.
[Nikolas Zeus covers Diablo]
El Atlético: ONE TWO (Zeus lifts Diablos head to stop the count!)
Toby Navel: Oh my Gosh Zeus is not finished yet?!?!? Somebody help that poor Diablo
Jeremy Tucker: That was a taste of humor brought directly from Tobys intellect. Zeus is lifting up Diablo again to the same inverted crucifix powerbomb position yes Toby you said it right, congratulations. Other Wrath of Zeus will be fatal for Diablo
Toby Navel: ZEUS IS GOING FOR THE WRATH ONCE AGAIN! SOMEBODY STOP THIS! THE WRATH OF ZEUS AGAIN!!!
[Zeus kneels before the motionless body of Diablo and covers his face with his right hand]
El Atlético: One! Two!! Three!!!
[The bell rings and El Atlético raises Zeuss arm up, but Zeus gets away from the ref and heads toward Frank Salazar]
Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST BY PINFALL NIKOLAS ZEUS!!!
[Zeus abruptly takes the mike from Frank and gets back into the ring]
Nikolas Zeus: Hey Im not done here, not f*cking yet! You thought I was a loser huh? You thought I was not going to be able to prevail in this country not only one day huh? Well youre all dead wrong! You see this man laying hopelessly on the mat? He is done! I heard the sweet CRACK! Of his neck on that last Wrath! But me, no Im not done. Im far from done here!
Last week that imbecile that thinks he is E.T. pinned me 1-2-3 in this very ring, but in a much better city than this one.
[Boos from the crowd]
Well I dont know if it was bad luck or I was stoned for something somebody put on my drink, but next time wont be the same Mars! Next time Im going to kick your NASA ass back to your red planet, wacko!
[Zeus drops the mike and Thunderstruck by AC/DC replays as Zeus leaves the area walking up the ramp, accompanied by the boos from the live audience]
Jeremy Tucker: This upcoming match pits one of our impressive members against a lost soul.
Toby Navel: That's right. I'm talking about Triple B vs Hillbilly Joe.
Andrew Fulton: Let's get this match over with, shall we?
Frank Salazar: This match is for one fall, our first combatant, weighing in at 255 pounds, from Red Bank, New Jersey, BIG BAD BILL!!!!
["The Headless Children" by WASP hits, Smoke fills the entrance ramp and black lights cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, Triple B appears through the smoke and walks towards his destiny.]
Jeremy Tucker: What's this?
[Triple B has the mic in his hand]
Triple B: You know what, forget the introduction, just bring this hick out.
[Hillbilly Joe comes out to no music, he looks pissed]
Toby Navel: Big Bad Bill is showing no respect!
Jeremy Tucker: None whatsoever! Now Referee Jimmy Coy is calling the bell!
[BBB locks up in his unique way, cutting off the artery in Hillbilly Joe's neck]
Jeremy Tucker: He's immediately wearing Hillbilly!
[BBB executes an over-the-shoulder toss]
Toby Navel: He's showing why he's the martial arts master!
Jeremy Tucker: What's this?!
[BBB strikes Hillbilly Joe in rapid-fire fashion, injuring his ribs and neck and shoulder]
Toby Navel: Now BBB has knocked down Hillbilly Joe.
Jeremy Tucker: He lifts him up though!
[BBB applies his Dis-locater, his finisher]
Toby Navel: THE DIS-LOCATER!!!
[Hillbilly Joe immediately submits.]
[Bell rings]
Frank Salazar: Your winner, BIG BAD BILL!!!
[BBB has not let go]
Toby Navel: He's not letting go!
Jeremy Tucker: Now Jimmy Coy is trying to pull BBB off!
[LOUD POP!]
Toby Navel: OH MY GOD! HE HAS JUST COMPLETELY RIPPED HIS ARM NEARLY OFF!
Jeremy Tucker: Can we call an ambulance?!
[On cue, the EMTS come out. They are putting Hillbilly Joe on the stretcher]
Jeremy Tucker: I don't think he'll be wrestling again any time soon!
Andrew Fulton : Thank god!
Toby Navel: Now Triple B is gloating in the ring.
Jeremy Tucker: He paid absolutely no respect to Joe!
Toby Navel: Nope!
Andrew Fulton: Finally the match is over, and hopefully, the career of Hillbilly Joe as well!
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Jeremy Tucker : WELCOME TO NO MANS LAND!!!
Toby Navel : Wow, I'm jacked, what a night we got coming up!
Jeremy Tucker : Some big matches tonight folks, thats for sure, Murdock / Porter, Tanner / Mars, and lets not forget the main event, any of these matches could go either way!
Andrew Fulton : And what about the other "epics", Zeus / Diablo, and Triple B vs Hillbilly Joe!
Toby Navel : I'd be surprised if a few of them guys will still be with us after tonight, we got people wanting to come down to Australia left and right, and they can't get a shot because of whelps like a couple of them, no, i have heard, there will be cuts made to the roster, and it don't take a genius to work out Triple B and Zeus wont be among them!
Andrew Fulton : How lucky for you that is!
Jeremy Tucker : Lets also not forget that we are less than a month away now from our first big ppv, Down Under Derby, we only got two NML's left, on the 12th and 21st of Sept, and then its all hands on deck for the big one!
Toby Navel : Can't wait!
Andrew Fulton : Unlike this match!
Jeremy Tucker : Give 'em a chance will ya Fulton!
Frank Salazar : Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson, TITO!
[Tito comes out onto the rampway, no music, and makes his way down to the ring with Rally trailing just behind him.]
Frank Salazar : And his opponent, JAVERT!!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Sorry folks, Javert is about to make his way to the ring, but i am getting a message right now that something is going on in the back, lets go take a look!
[Scene switches from the ring, to the back where we see The Goodfella's James Murdock and Adrian Tanner Jr arriving at the back of the Dandenong Basketball stadium, them make there way in the back, and notice Jake Porter standing at the notice board, looking over the nights card, a foam cup in his hand.]
Toby Navel : Ohh O, this doesn't bode well for Porter, Tanner and Murdock look at each other, and smile, then both charge Porter, sending him head first through the plaster wall!
Jeremy Tucker : SWEET JESUS!
[Murdock and Tanner lift up a motionless Porter, and drag him off with them, the camera zooms in for a close up of the wall, with a big hole in it from Jake's head, and then we go back to the ring, where Javert is now in the ring, and he and Tito are exchanging lefts and rights.]
Toby Navel : We're back at ringside folks, and this one is under way!
Jeremy Tucker : Tito reaches back, and clocks Javert with a huge right, sending him hard to the mat!
Andrew Fulton : Go Tito! Finish this chump off, i want to see where The Goodfella's are taking Porter!
[Javert gets to his feet, and Tito catches him and takes him over with a Jay Leno arm drag special!]
Jeremy Tucker : Javert gets back up to his feet again, and Tito goes to throw him into the ropes, but then Javert reverses it, and whips Tito into the ropes, who bounces off, and
[WHAM!]
Jeremy Tucker : Tito nails Javert with a huge Lawrence Taylor shoulder block!
Toby Navel : We all know Tito loves the celebrities moves, but he really can go in there, last week he added the superkick to his repertoire, i wonder what we will see this week?
Andrew Fulton : As long as it ain't nothing from Master P!
Jeremy Tucker : Master P? (shudders)
[Tito slugs Javert right in the mush with a sweet Superkick.]
Toby Navel : SUPERKICK! Tito with the superkick, this one is all over as Tito drops for the cover!
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ................. 2 ................... (Tito picks Javert up from the mat.)
Andrew Fulton : He kicked out? What the heck is going on?
Toby Navel : Yeah, right Fulton, we all know he lifted him up there, don't know which celebrity he got that one from, but you would think Rally would of told him when you d that, then there is a 95% chance you will end up loosing the match!
Andrew Fulton : Like Rally would ever let that happen, there is no way he could let his best bud loose to someone like Javert, did you see this clown last week, trying to screw Ruthless L Reeve leaving him to the Hellhounds, then turning his back on them, please!
Jeremy Tucker : Yeah, and then Commiss Brown didn't seem to happy with Javert, and next week, we will see him and Mars going at it, god help him!
Andrew Fulton : Which god? We got about ten in the fed!
Toby Navel : Well, i saw in the promo's that Ruthless L Reeve was wanting in that match, demanding to be put in it actually!
Andrew Fulton : Pity for Reeve he dont make the matches around here!
Jeremy Tucker : Javert down, and Tito going up to the top rope.
[BOOM!]
Toby Navel : Huge Elbow drop from the top!
Jeremy Tucker : Tito with the cover .......
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ..................... 2 ...................... 3!!!!!
Frank Salazar : The winner of the match, TITO!!!!!!!!
[The scene switches to Commissioner Browns office, where we see the Commiss talking on the phone.]
Commiss Brown : So, i'll mail the contract out in the mornings mail, everything is set, all you need to do is sign the bottom line, and send it back.
Mystery Voice : No doubt about it, my name will be on the F*cken line!
-----------------
Jeremy Tucker: Well were here for the next match of tonights No Mans Land!!!
Andrew Fulton: Yeah straight from the land of brainless surfers and jumping hoping kangaroos.
Toby Navel: Yeah and Crocodile Dundee!!! Im so excited!
Andrew Fulton: I was being sarcastic ugh forget it.
[The lights in the arena go black except for a spot light shinning on the entranceway, and smoke starts to rise off. Thunderstruck by AC/DC starts playing. As the smoke hits the Ring Syn-Tron the rest of the tornado is shown. At the first thunderstruck, a lighting bolt hits the spot where the smoke started. The tornado stops and Zeus appears sitting there on his bike. After Zeus rides to the ring he slides in under the ropes, he walks to the center of the ring. Raises one arm then slams it down. Lighting bolts come down onto all four-ring posts and white pyrotechnics comes out of the ring posts]
Frank Salazar: THIS IS A CONTEST SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! COMING FIRST TO THE RING FROM HOLLYWOOD CALIFORNIA! WEIGHING IN THREE-HUNDRED TWENTYFIVE POUNDSS AND STANDING TALL AT SIX FEET WITH SIX INCHES! NIIIIKOLAASSSS ZEEEEUSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Toby Navel: [amazed] What an entrance.
Jeremy Tucker: A lot of fireworks and special effects, lets see if he can wrestle.
Toby Navel: Of course he can wrestle I mean he looks like Big Poppa Pump, Triple H and Brock together in one piece!
Andrew Fulton: Yep, exactly like the big boulders that come down running over those Japanese clowns in Spike TVs Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. You know what? Theyre made from foam.
Toby Navel: Meaning?
Jeremy Tucker: Meaning maybe he is not what he looks like. Lets see a recap from his match last weeks at No Mans Land
{Start VTR-
Toby Navel: Mars is waiting for Zeus to get up!
Jeremy Tucker: BIG BOOT!
[Mars dives for cover]
Jeremy Tucker: 1.....2.... No!
[Mars is screaming. He lifts Zeus up]
Toby Navel: APOCALYPSE!!!
[Mars executes the body vise into a brainbuster bomb]
Jeremy Tucker: Now cover! 1.....2......3!!!!!
[Bell rings]
Frank Salazar: Your winner, as a result of a pinfall, Mars!
[Referee Jimmy Coy raises Mars's arm]
Jeremy Tucker: Mars won this, hands down!
Toby Navel: Now Mars is celebrating in the ring!
[Jake Porter comes in from the crowd. He nails Mars with a chair!]
Jeremy Tucker: What's this?! Porter?!
Toby Navel: He just took him out!
[Porter sets the chair up and then executes the Play of the Week on the chair]
Jeremy Tucker: The chair broke!
Toby Navel: Porter's not too pleased about the earlier assault!
Jeremy Tucker: Nope, not at all!
-End VTR}
Andrew Fulton: Dont talk for me punk head. I mean maybe HE IS what he looks like. Coming down in a bike dressed up like an American Bad Ass from the 80s having pyrotechnics coming out off the four ring posts when he slams his arm down Jesus Christ lets not step in his yard because he is the big no mask machine!!! I hate Australia.
Jeremy Tucker: Your always emanating motivation Fulton. Good wrestler or not, Zeuss attitude sucks big time anyway.
Toby Navel: Well, even if his attitude sucks, I think he has great potential.
Jeremy Tucker: Who? Zeus or Fulton?
Andrew Fulton: Dont you dare compare my personality with his.
[Hell Bells by AC/DC hums through out the arena as Diablo gets a mixed reaction from the crowd]
Frank Salazar: AND HIS OPPONENT! COMING TO THE RING
Andrew Fulton: WE DONT CARE FRANK, SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND LETS START THIS F*CKING MATCH!
Jeremy Tucker: Thats what I call a big ego stocked in the frontal lobule. Now hes starting to give orders.
Andrew Fulton: Your wife doesnt complain when I command her to do whatever I want, you know, a position or a blow
Jeremy Tucker: DONT MESS WITH MY WIFE YOU SON OF A .
Toby Navel: [interrupting] Well thats Diablo, what means Devil in Spanish!
Andrew Fulton: I bet you spent hours trying to figure out that.
Toby Navel: Why are you always in such a defensive mode? It is because you know Im the one thatll replace you down the line?
Andrew Fulton: You replacing me? You couldnt replace someone as invaluable as the janitor, or Jerry in that case.
Jeremy Tucker: F*ck you Fulton.
[El Atlético, the official referee, signals to start the match]
DING! DING! DONG!
Toby Navel: Both competitors quickly lock up in the middle of the ring trying to over power each other!
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus out powers Diablo pushing him all the way to the corner. El Atlético orders them to break up and they slowly start to, but Zeus takes advantage of the situation with rights to Diablos head.
Toby Novel: Now chops to the chest by Zeus! WHOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!! And other! WHOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!! And other!!! WHOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew Fulton: Youre a disgrace.
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus whips Diablo to the opposite corner with fury. Nikolas runs right after him but is stopped with a kick to the face! Diablo runs and attacks but is caught with a perfectly executed Belly-to-belly Suplex!
Andrew Fulton: Yeah and Diablo selling the back like if he was hit with a sledgehammer in the spine.
Toby Navel: Zeus traps Diablo in a sleeper headlock close to the mat. Adding more and more pressure to private his brain from the normal blood flow.
Andrew Fulton: What the hell are you now? A doctor?
Toby Navel: Now Im just
Jeremy Tucker: Diablo is trying to stand up and see if he still has a chance to defeat his opponent. Succeeds and starts throwing elbows to Zeuss gut. Diablo pushes Zeus off of him hard and Zeus runs to the ropes coming back with a tremendous clothesline!
Toby Navel: THAT ALMOST TOOK HIS HEAD OFF! OH MY!
Jeremy Tucker: Wasnt so great Toby. Elbow drop to Diablos throat!
Andrew Fulton: Oh let me know whenever he starts doing push-ups and jumping jacks to laugh my ass out.
Toby Navel: No aerobics Fulton. Zeus pulls Diablo up to his feet and sends him back to where he came from with a vertical suplex.
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus is already playing with Diablo. I guess Diablo is not ready yet to fight against the finest athletes of sports-entertainment here in Australia.
Andrew Fulton: Oh, where are they?
Toby Navel: Oh, leg drop from Zeus straight to Diablos forehead! He is out!
El Atlético: One Two ..Thre (Shoulder up by T. Diablo!!!)
Jeremy Tucker: He is still with us; that surprises me. I dont know if Diablo made the best decision when he lifted that shoulder anyway. It may be worse vicious kicks from Zeus to Diablos chest! I think Zeus didnt like Diablo being still alive at all.
Toby Navel: Zeus pulls up Diablo again, but this time all the way up to a pre press slam position! Wait a Diablo slipped behind Zeus and applies a standing sleeper hold immediately!
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus pushes his way backward to the corner, smashing Diablo between him and the turnbuckle!
Toby Navel: Diablo loses the hold and Zeus uses the convenience of the position to lift Diablo in a face-first Razors Edge, or it is an inverted crucifix powerbomb position?
Andrew Fulton: Ugh
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus rocks El Diablos world a killer Tombstone Piledriver from the previous position!
Toby Navel: THE WRATH OF ZEUS! THE WRATH OF ZEUS! ZEUS JUST DESTROYED DIABLO WITH HIS WRATH!!!
Andrew Fulton: ITS KANE! ITS KANE! ITS KANE! IM OUT OF HERE TO DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE BEFORE THE DEADMAN WALKING MAKES ME THROW UP IN DISGUST!
Toby Navel: Hey Fulton, Im just enjoying the action.
Jeremy Tucker: Ignore him Toby, he probably has sexual dysfunctional problems.
[Nikolas Zeus covers Diablo]
El Atlético: ONE TWO (Zeus lifts Diablos head to stop the count!)
Toby Navel: Oh my Gosh Zeus is not finished yet?!?!? Somebody help that poor Diablo
Jeremy Tucker: That was a taste of humor brought directly from Tobys intellect. Zeus is lifting up Diablo again to the same inverted crucifix powerbomb position yes Toby you said it right, congratulations. Other Wrath of Zeus will be fatal for Diablo
Toby Navel: ZEUS IS GOING FOR THE WRATH ONCE AGAIN! SOMEBODY STOP THIS! THE WRATH OF ZEUS AGAIN!!!
[Zeus kneels before the motionless body of Diablo and covers his face with his right hand]
El Atlético: One! Two!! Three!!!
[The bell rings and El Atlético raises Zeuss arm up, but Zeus gets away from the ref and heads toward Frank Salazar]
Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST BY PINFALL NIKOLAS ZEUS!!!
[Zeus abruptly takes the mike from Frank and gets back into the ring]
Nikolas Zeus: Hey Im not done here, not f*cking yet! You thought I was a loser huh? You thought I was not going to be able to prevail in this country not only one day huh? Well youre all dead wrong! You see this man laying hopelessly on the mat? He is done! I heard the sweet CRACK! Of his neck on that last Wrath! But me, no Im not done. Im far from done here!
Last week that imbecile that thinks he is E.T. pinned me 1-2-3 in this very ring, but in a much better city than this one.
[Boos from the crowd]
Well I dont know if it was bad luck or I was stoned for something somebody put on my drink, but next time wont be the same Mars! Next time Im going to kick your NASA ass back to your red planet, wacko!
[Zeus drops the mike and Thunderstruck by AC/DC replays as Zeus leaves the area walking up the ramp, accompanied by the boos from the live audience]
Jeremy Tucker: This upcoming match pits one of our impressive members against a lost soul.
Toby Navel: That's right. I'm talking about Triple B vs Hillbilly Joe.
Andrew Fulton: Let's get this match over with, shall we?
Frank Salazar: This match is for one fall, our first combatant, weighing in at 255 pounds, from Red Bank, New Jersey, BIG BAD BILL!!!!
["The Headless Children" by WASP hits, Smoke fills the entrance ramp and black lights cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, Triple B appears through the smoke and walks towards his destiny.]
Jeremy Tucker: What's this?
[Triple B has the mic in his hand]
Triple B: You know what, forget the introduction, just bring this hick out.
[Hillbilly Joe comes out to no music, he looks pissed]
Toby Navel: Big Bad Bill is showing no respect!
Jeremy Tucker: None whatsoever! Now Referee Jimmy Coy is calling the bell!
[BBB locks up in his unique way, cutting off the artery in Hillbilly Joe's neck]
Jeremy Tucker: He's immediately wearing Hillbilly!
[BBB executes an over-the-shoulder toss]
Toby Navel: He's showing why he's the martial arts master!
Jeremy Tucker: What's this?!
[BBB strikes Hillbilly Joe in rapid-fire fashion, injuring his ribs and neck and shoulder]
Toby Navel: Now BBB has knocked down Hillbilly Joe.
Jeremy Tucker: He lifts him up though!
[BBB applies his Dis-locater, his finisher]
Toby Navel: THE DIS-LOCATER!!!
[Hillbilly Joe immediately submits.]
[Bell rings]
Frank Salazar: Your winner, BIG BAD BILL!!!
[BBB has not let go]
Toby Navel: He's not letting go!
Jeremy Tucker: Now Jimmy Coy is trying to pull BBB off!
[LOUD POP!]
Toby Navel: OH MY GOD! HE HAS JUST COMPLETELY RIPPED HIS ARM NEARLY OFF!
Jeremy Tucker: Can we call an ambulance?!
[On cue, the EMTS come out. They are putting Hillbilly Joe on the stretcher]
Jeremy Tucker: I don't think he'll be wrestling again any time soon!
Andrew Fulton : Thank god!
Toby Navel: Now Triple B is gloating in the ring.
Jeremy Tucker: He paid absolutely no respect to Joe!
Toby Navel: Nope!
Andrew Fulton: Finally the match is over, and hopefully, the career of Hillbilly Joe as well!
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