Post by MongotheDestroyer on Sept 5, 2021 20:53:43 GMT -5
[Get Free by The Vines hits, and the scene opens up to show the Dandenong Basketball Stadium in Melbourne, Australia. The hall is not full, but there is a good 600 fans in the crowd, and they are pumped, with a chant of "NO ...... MANS ...... LAND!", there is also a few signs in the crowd, which include : One dude dressed as a Grim Reaper and two dudes in Scream masks and skeleton outfits with a sign around their necks reading "Goodfellas", there is a drawing of the Hellhounds on leashes reading "The Hellhounds will not YIELD", "Jake Porter= Piss Break", "This Sign Sucks", "Where's our Tag Titles?", "Getting the day off....80 dollars, Getting a ticket.....50 dollars, Watching Javert try and get over with that Tux on....Priceless", "Ruthless Reeve Needs a Ride Home", "Mars Rules", "I know who Y is", "Murdock for Heavyweight champ!", "Commissioner Brown Sux!", "I love Triple B" and "Syndicate in Effect!"]
Jeremy Tucker : Howdy fans, and welcome to No Mans Land, we are only a couple of weeks away from the Down Under Derby PPV, and we got a huge night in store for you, so, lets take it to the ring!
Jeremy Tucker: The first match up tonight is a triple threat between Mars, Javert and Ruthless L. Reeve!
Toby Navel: That's right! We have seen some impressive things from all three, so I'm personally excited to see this match!
Andrew Fulton: I'm not. I know Mars shall win! BWAHAHA!
Jeremy Tucker: Javert is already in the ring warming up. He has a look of determination on his face.
Frank Salazar: First, Javert!!!
[Javert plays to the crowd then resumes warming up]
Frank Salazar: His first opponent, from Melbourne, Australia, weighing in at 317 pounds, RUTHLESS L. REEVE!!!!
[Reeve comes in from the crowd and immediately blindsides Javert]
Toby Navel: A clothesline!
Jeremy Tucker: That nearly took Javert's head off!
Frank Salazar: Finally, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 340 pounds, MARS!!!!
[ The house lights dim as Unholy begins to play softly over the PA system. The volume keeps growing louder, until the lyrics begin.
[]
[[Chained slaves to their cages]]
[]
[[Im the cycle of pain]]
[[Of a thousand year old reign]]
The tron begins to show images of bloody battles that advance through several time periods.
Smoke and fog begin to billow from under the ramp.
A single red spotlight shines down through the fog to the top of the ramp.
Mars appears in the center of the light bathed in an eerie darkness.
[[Im suicide and salvation]]
[[The omen to nations]]
[[That you worship on all fours]]
[[Im the infection and famine]]
[[Thats knocking at your door]]
As the spotlight fades and the house lights come up the fog and smoke can be seen rolling towards the ring.
[[Thats why youre feeling so ]]
Mars steps down the ramp towards the ring. A chorus of boos and jeers begin. Mars threatens the fans as he walks towards the ring, which brings even more reactions from the fans.
[[Unholy]]
[[Oh. I was created by man, you know Im ]]
[[Unholy]]
[[Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah]]
Mars stops at ringside points to his opponent and does a throat slashing gesture before climbing into the ring.]
Toby Navel: Now Mars is talking to Reeve. They seem to have come to an agreement!
[Mars picks up Javert and throws him at Reeve's knee]
Jeremy Tucker: A tag team move by Mars and Reeve!
Toby Navel: Now Mars throws out Reeve!
[Reeve goes tumbling out and Mars goes for cover]
Jeremy Tucker:1....2.... no!
Toby Navel: I don't think it's going to be that easy!
[Mars picks up Javert and chokes Javert before tossing him]
Jeremy Tucker: A choke toss!
Toby Navel: Now Reeve is coming to and he slides in the ring.
Jeremy Tucker: Reeve with a Saving Grace DDT on Javert!
Toby Navel: Mars and Reeve is really sticking it in to Javert!
[Mars goes to the top rope but Reeve crotches him]
Jeremy Tucker: Oh a toss by Reeve!
[Javert goes for cover but Reeve pulls Javert off]
Toby Navel: Reeve with a big boot to Javert!
[Mars gets up and clotheslines Reeve]
Jeremy Tucker: Now Mars goes for a cover on Javert!
Toby Navel: 1....2.... no!
[Mars throws Reeve out again]
Jeremy Tucker: I guess Mars wants Javert to himself!
[Mars with a powerbomb on Javert]
Toby Navel: Ouch that gotta hurt!
Jeremy Tucker: Indeed!
[Mars waits for Javert to get up then short arm clotheslines him]
Toby Navel: Now Javert is hurt!
[Reeve gets in the ring and kicks Mars in the guts and throws him out]
Jeremy Tucker: Guess they're playing turns on Javert!
[Reeve with a Raven Effect DDT on Javert]
Toby Navel: A ddt!
[Reeve lifts Javert up and A full nelson slam]
Jeremy Tucker: The way this match is going, it's not gonna be long
before someone pins Javert!
[Mars gets up and kicks Reeve out of the ring]
Jeremy Tucker: Mars's motioning for his finisher!
[Mars with an inverted body vise into a brainbuster powerbomb on Javert]
Toby Navel: THE APOCALYPSE!!!
[Mars goes for cover]
Jeremy Tucker: 1.....2....... WHAT'S THIS?!
[The arena goes dark. It remains dark for a good minute. Then the lights go back on to Reeve standing in the ring. Javert is still out cold. There's a black bodybag with two red "B" on it and small Xs over where the eyes would be. Mars is in the bag]
Jeremy Tucker: We're confused here!
[Reeve picks up Javert and executes the Ruthless Edge]
Jeremy Tucker: A cover! 1.....2....3!
Toby Navel: RUTHLESS WINS!
Frank Salazar: Your winner. Ruthless L. Reeve!!!
[Hot to Death by Everlast hits.]
Jeremy Tucker: That was a strange ending to a decent match!
Andrew Fulton: Who is "BB"?
Toby Navel : I dont know, you think Reeve had anything to do with this?
Jeremy Tucker : Lord knows, we'll be back after these messages fol...... hang on a sec, Commissioner Brown is storming to the ring, lets stay with this.
Commissioner Brown : Just what the hell do you think your doing Reeve?
[Ruthless L Reeve stands there staring at the Commissioner.]
Commissioner Brown (moving right up to Reeve, and looking right up to his eyes.) : I'm talking to you boy! I've had it with your crap, whats the meaning of this ......
[Commissioner Brown motions to the bodybag, and Reeve snatches the mic from him.]
Ruthless L Reeve : Don't know and don't care!
[Reeve drops the mic, and turns his back on Brown heading out of the ring. Brown quickly picks the mic back up.]
Commissioner Brown : Where do you think your going, don't you turn your back on me!
[Reeve hesitates at the ropes, then steps over the top rope to leave the ring.]
Commissioner Brown : REEVE! I'm not finished with you yet boy! I haven't even started!
[Reeve steps back over the rope into the ring, and moves towards Brown, standing over him trying to intimidate him.]
Commissioner Brown : Don't you look down at me, who the hell do you think you are anyway, Mars had you beat, he had this match won, everyone knows that, and you try and concoct these shananagans!
Jeremy Tucker : Shananagans?
[Reeve snatches the mic.]
Ruthless L Reeve : Look, i told you, i dont know what happened to your boy, and i dont care, he is making a name for himself around here, obviously someone wanted to cash in on that, but hey, thats fine with me, I am more than happy to take the win!
Commissioner Brown : I'll bet you are, but i got a little surprise for you Reeve, actually, i got two surprises for you.
[Behind Reeve, Mars' fist breaks through the bodybag!]
Commissioner Brown : This region aint big enough for the both of us Reeve, Soutter has told me to take you out by any means necessary, and i plan on doing just that, so, we are going to have some fun, there is an old saying, if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself, so, Sept 30th, at the Down Under Derby, its going to be you Ruthless L Reeve, right in the centre of this ring, going at it in singles competition against .............. yours truly, Commissioner Brown!
Toby Navel : Ohhh my god, he's booked himself against Reeve for the PPV!
[Reeve chuckles.]
Commissioner Brown : Laugh it up, while you can, because if you loose this match, then (Vince McMahon voice) "YOUR FIRED!"
Ruthless L Reeve : Thats bullshit! Who do you think i am, Goldberg? You expect me to just put my career on the line for nothing? No way, you want this match, you got it, but you got to put your career on the line as well! Loser leaves Australia, thats the only way it will work!
Commissioner Brown : You got it! I'll see you at the PPV, if you make it that is, see, i seem to remember you running your mouth last week in your promo's, well, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it, next week, right here in Dandenong, its going to be you, Ruthless L Reeve vs ....... THE HELLHOUNDS!!!! Two on One in a handicap match, and I'll be left to clean up the scraps at the Down Under Derby!!! HaHaHa!!!
Ruthless L Reeve : Ohh, I'll be there, dont you worry about that! Whats the second surprise then?
[Commissioner Brown points behind Reeve to Mars who is now out of the body bag and standing right behind him.]
Commissioner Brown : THAT!
[WHAM!]
Jeremy Tucker : CHOKESLAM!!!
Toby Navel : Reeve turned around, and Mars just drilled him with that devastating chokeslam!
[Brown and Mars then stomp away on Reeve as we fade to a commercial.]
---------
*We return from a commercial break to see Zeus and Excellence in the ring, awaiting the opening bell.*
Jeremy Tucker: This match getting underway now nice arm drag by Excellence into and arm bar, but Zeus is fighting back to his feet already!
Toby Navel: Zeus with a knee to the ribs and another hard right hand there, knocking Excellence down. Zeus into the cover!
Referee Don El Don:
1
(kickout)
Andrew Fulton: Pfft. Why did he even bother there?
Jeremy Tucker: Well he obviously wanted to try a quick cover, but hes dragging Excellence back to his feet now nice body slam by Zeus!
Toby Navel: Zeus with a sleeper hold locked in after that slam Excellence is making it to his feet though
Jeremy Tucker: Excellence with the whip to Zeus OHHH! What a clothesline by Zeus! Excellence is trying to get back to his feet
Toby Navel: Zeus is stalking DDT!
Jeremy Tucker: Cover by Zeus!
Referee Don El Don:
1
2
(kickout)
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus wasting little time here though, he pops Excellence right back up into a Vertical Suplex!
Toby Navel: Look though- Zeus still has the suplex position hooked! He delivers another to Excellence!
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus has Excellence back up belly to belly suplex!
Toby Navel: Zeus is on fire! Could have him here
Referee Don El Don:
1
2
(kickout)
Jeremy Tucker: Both men are back to their feet Excellence is dazed look out! Zeus lifts Excellence into that inverted crucifix bomb position
Toby Navel: The Wrath of Zeus!
Jeremy Tucker: This must be all!
Referee Don El Don:
1
2
3!!
Frank Salazar: Here is your winner ZEUS!
Toby Navel: What a win for Zeus!
----------
[The 'Tron goes to black. In the dark sot, you see a figure step forward, but only from the chest down. The figure, a very imposing one,brings his hands forward and cracks his knuckles. An unfamiliar voice speaks.]
Voice: You ever feel the need to change things, to rise and shake things up? You wanna be a thorn in everyone's side? Are you just out for a little attention? You lookin' to cause trouble?
[The figure puts his right fist into his left hand.]
Voice: Well......forget it!
[The figure punches the screen so hard it shakes and then fades out, leaving the words:]
MR. FIXIT IS HEADED YOUR WAY.
----------
Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. Your referee is Jimmy Nor.
["Place your hands" by Reef begins to play.]
Frank Salazar: Now introducing from Parts Unknown, at 6 foot even and 230 pounds the Incredible Y.
Andrew Fulton: Porter had better be ready because Y is going to KICK HIS ASS!
Jeremy Tucker: Is Y paying you to say these things?
Andrew Fulton: Hey I needed a little extra, and
Jeremy Tucker: You disgust me! Take it away Frank while I reach for my barf bag
["Sabotage" by Beastie Boys plays over the loudspeakers.]
Frank Salazar: Now introducing from New York, at 6 feet 6 inches and weighing 265 poun
Jeremy Tucker: Hey! Look at this! Porter was hiding under the ring the whole time! Y doesn't know it!
Andrew Fulton: Look out Y!
[Ding- Ding- Ding-]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter nails him with a hard left, another!
[Porter throws Y out of the ring!]
Toby Navel: The crowd loves it!
Andrew Fulton: Yeah, well, Porter snuck up on him. I would like to see him do that to Y when he is looking!
Jeremy Tucker: In any case, Y grabs Porter, and brings him to the outside!
[The referee Jimmy Nor begins the ten count.]
Toby Navel: This is going to be a knockdown, drag-out match I can tell!
[One]
Jeremy Tucker: No question about it.
[Two]
[Y grabs a handful of hair, and rams Porters head into the corner!]
[Three]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter is dazed, and Y tries again.
[Four]
Toby Navel: PORTER BLOCKS!!!
[Five]
[Porter rams Y's head into the guardrail instead!]
[Six]
Toby Navel: The ref stopped counting. I think he's going to let this one go!
Jeremy Tucker: It sure looks that way. Y and Porter are still on the outside.
[Porter is chasing around Y.]
Toby Navel: Look at this! Porter ducked under the ring apron and Y is looking for him!
[Y doesnt see where Porter is.]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter comes out, and Y is still looking! Porter jumps on the ring, sneaks behind Y, and delivers a flying clothesline!
Toby Navel: Unbelievable!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Y is moving slow and Porter has the advantage.
[Porter goes to the ring apron again, but he telegraphs it.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y rams Porters neck full speed into the outer guard wall!
Toby Navel: Man, that had to hurt!
Andrew Fulton: I love Y's all to familiar style! Win by any means necessary!
[Y slowly grabs Porter, and throws him into the ring.]
Jeremy Tucker: Youre not going to get into that again, are you?
Andrew Fulton: Just because I know who Y is, no need to get jealous.
Toby Navel: Tell me; tell me, I want to know!
Andrew Fulton / Jeremy Tucker: SHUT UP, TOBY!!
Jeremy Tucker: Finally, some ring action! I was wondering if they were ever going to get in the ring!
Toby Navel: I know. It feels like theyve been out there forever.
Jeremy Tucker: Well, forever is stretching it a bit, but they're in the ring now.
[Y picks up Porter, and hits him hard.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y nails Porter with a Pumphandle Slam!
[The ref slides to check the pin]
Toby Navel: Cover one two
Jeremy Tucker: Kickout by Porter.
Andrew Fulton: Aaah, just admit it, Y had him beat!
Jeremy Tucker: Did you see the ref say three? I didn't think so.
[Y picks up Porter again, and nails him with a DDT.]
Toby Navel: Another cover one two
Jeremy Tucker: Yet another kickout by the Porter, but he's in trouble!
Toby Navel: You can say that again!
Jeremy Tucker: Y grabs him again, hits him hard, nails him with a European uppercut, and another!
Toby Navel: Y is pummeling Porter!
[Y with a Powerslam.]
Jeremy Tucker: A cover one two
Toby Navel: Oh man! I thought it was over.
Jeremy Tucker: Porter is showing some unbelievable tenacity out there.
Toby Navel: Unbelievable!
Andrew Fulton: This is almost embarrassing for Porter. He isn't putting up much of a fight!
Jeremy Tucker: What Match are you watching? Y has hit Porter with everything but the kitchen sink, and he still cant put him away!
[Y goes to the second rope, as Porter gets back to his feet.]
Toby Navel: Y nails Porter with a second rope bulldog!
[Y goes to the top rope.]
Toby Navel: Y certainly taking his own sweet time!
Andrew Fulton: Put him away, Y!
Jeremy Tucker: Taking that much time against Porter, is going to be a big mistake for Y.
[Y is slowly getting to the top.]
Toby Navel: He's there! He raises his arms! This could be the end for Porter!
Andrew Fulton: Count it over! Porter is screwed!
[Porter rolls out of the way.]
Toby Navel: He missed! He missed!
Jeremy Tucker: Porter still has life left in him.
Toby Navel: Unbelievable!!!
[Both men are down. The ref is slowly counting.]
Jimmy Nor: One Two Three Four
[Porter is the first to his feet.]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter is dragging Y to his feet.
[Porter Powerbombs Y into a pin.]
Toby Navel: Cover One
Jeremy Tucker: Kickout by Y.
[Y gets to his feet first.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y picks up Porter.
Toby Navel: Low blow!!!
[Y crumples over.]
Andrew Fulton: He cant do that to Y. Doesnt he know who that is?
Jeremy Tucker: Like you do?
Andrew Fulton: Yes, like me! Thats Oh, forget it.
Jeremy Tucker: Porter drags Y to the middle of the ring.
[Porter picks Y up.]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter goes for a German Suplex.
[Porter nails Y with three suplexes.]
Toby Navel: What a huge release suplex at the end!
Jeremy Tucker: Porter goes for the cover One Two (Kickout)
Toby Navel: Almost Three.
[The crowd getting right behind Jake Porter, and he is really working them, he starts clapping and they clap along with him, and then start chanting his name, then all of a sudden, he gives them the up yours sign, and the crowd turn on him and begin boo'ing him.]
Jeremy Tucker : These fans sure changed there mind in a hurry!
Andrew Fulton : Sure did, scum they are wouldn't know how to sticj with smeone if there life dependanded on it. (cupping his hands over his mouth) "THAT THE BOY PORTER, GIVE IT HIM!"
Jeremy Tucker: Porter better pay more attention to Y.
[Porter drags Y to his feet.]
Toby Navel: Porter sends Y for a ride into the corner.
[Y crashes into the turnbuckles.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y is just hanging there.
Toby Navel: Porter is going for the spear!!!
[Y moves out of the way, sending Porter into the ringpost.]
Toby Navel: He missed!!!
[Y with a Schoolboy roll-up.]
Jeremy Tucker: The ref slides in to make the count.
Toby Navel: Y HAS PORTERS TIGHTS!
[The ref begins the count.]
Jeremy Tucker: One Two
[The Incredible Y gets his feet up on the ropes.]
Jeremy Tucker: THREE
Andrew Fulton: Y did it! Y did it!
[Y slides out of the ring holding his head and makes his way to the back.]
Toby Navel: IS THE REF BLIND!!!
[Jake Porter is on his feet screaming at the ref.]
Jeremy Tucker: I think Porter agrees with you, Toby.
[Porter just laid out the ref.]
Toby Navel: Oh My God!!!
[Porter is lifting Jimmy Nor to his feet.]
Toby Navel: PLAY OF THE WEEK!!! PLAY OF THE WEEK!!!
[Porter is standing over the prone ref, talking trash.]
Jeremy Tucker: Lets go too commercial, while this all gets sorted out.
----------
Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks, this new match promises to be a big one!
[The arena lights go out, and the ring is covered in pyro, you cant see anything in there, "Nothing Sacred" By Memento hits, the pyro continues to sizzle as the song plays.]
Toby Navel : Whats going on in there?
Andrew Fulton : I would say its just a technical difficulty, lets go to a commercial break!
Jeremy Tucker : Thats no technical difficulty!
[The pyro stops, and standing in the centre of the ring is ................... Hero!]
Toby Navel : ITS HERO!
Jeremy Tucker : YES! Hero has arrived in Australia!
[Hero pulls a mic out of his back pocket and just stands there, the fans giving him a huge ovation.]
Toby Navel : The Aussie fans know a true superstar when they see one!
Hero : Wow! Thats incredible, and not like the Y! What a feeling, you guys sure know how to make a guy feel welcome!
[Hero again pauses and looks out to the crowd, and HE - RO chant starts up.]
Andrew Fulton : When did this guy learn how to work a crowd?
Hero : Well, i must say, i'm shocked, looks like you guys down under know your wrestling! I'm not here to take up half an hour of tv time like some others like to in this business, just to come out here and let all you great fans, and all the guys in the back know, Hero is here in Australia!
[Another huge pop.]
Hero : I have been in this business for a while now, and i feel that i am now ready to fulfill all my "potential", and take it to the next level here in Ring Syndicate! I sure am looking forward to all the competition over here in Australia, and also looking forward to performing in front of you awesome fans!
[Hero drops the mic and "Nothing Sacred" By Memento hits as he makes his way up the rampway to a huge reaction.]
---------
Jeremy Tucker: Well folks, we're back for more non-stop action not allowed for cardiac people!
Toby Navel: And neither for epileptic patients and old women or men that suffer from high blood pressure!
Andrew Fulton: Can you just shut the hell up? Im trying to hear the latest Jamie Kings Backstage Pass with Big Stan in my laptop.
Toby Navel: I cant shut up. Im a contracted commentator of the best wrest
Andrew Fulton: Ohh, you make my work more intolerable than it already is. Now shhh!
Jeremy Tucker: Why are you watching that stuff? I mean what for? You always living in the past Fulton really get over it.
Andrew Fulton: Im not fucking living in the damn past Jerry I just want to hear this
Jeremy Tucker: Take it easy pal. I think the environment is getting into you.
Toby Navel: Yeah, look at you! You look like shit lately.
Andrew Fulton: So you fuckers wont let me watch this.
Toby Navel: Hell no, you are supposed to be here where the action
[Fulton cracks his laptop on Navels head! Navel falls unconscious in the floor]
Jeremy Tucker: Laptop shot straight to the head!
Andrew Fulton: Thanks for the play by play commentary, Jerry the never will be king Tucker.
Jeremy Tucker: Screw you. Why'd you do that to him?
Andrew Fulton: Hello he is Navel. Anyway that relaxed me a little bit at least.
Jeremy Tucker: Well yeah I guess you have a point. Man but you should calm down, really.
Andrew Fulton: Cmon what do you expect me to do? Im stuck in this small island
Jeremy Tucker: Small island!? This is a whole continent
Andrew Fulton: Small island I said! And dont ever interrupt me again cigarette. Weve been in this shit hole of Melboring for what a fucking eternal month? Yes Im tired of this small place and the same stupid people attending to the shows every week from hell, and Im pissed off because of it.
Jeremy Tucker: The Australian citizens are great I dont know what youre talking about.
Andrew Fulton: As great as a dog poop on your shoe. Look, the other night I had a nightmare. There was the milk spitting ugly cow of Kung Pow wait a minute no it was Soutter. Yep, he was with this pervert face grabbing a rope with his right hand a rope that was attached to a big bell in a tower, like a church or something. Whatever it was, the bastard pulled the rope and the bell started making this loud sound DAN DE NONG DAN DE NONG DAN DE NONG!!! All while Soutter was laughing his ass off hysterically oh man it was terrible.
Jeremy Tucker: Ha! He! Ha! Ah youre finally going nuts dude. Well lets get back to work here comes Tito without any music. Darn, somebody should help this guy with his persona because I feel Rally is not moving a finger for him.
[Tito jogs down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope to get into the ring. Tito walks close to the ropes and lifts his hand in the air trying to pump up the crowd, getting a mild reaction, a few claps here, a few boos there]
Andrew Fulton: Hey is Rally Jackson in the entranceway!
[Huge ovation from the audience]
Andrew Fulton: Here comes what Ring Syndicate Australia needs to survive!
Jeremy Tucker: I dont think so. What needs RSA is a better commentator than you.
Frank Salazar: THIS IS A CONTEST SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! COMING FROM COZUMEL MEXICO ACOMPAINED BY TIGERHEART RALLY JACKSON!
[Crowd starts to chat TIGER HEART, TIGER HEART, TIGER HEART!]
Frank Salazar: WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY POUNDS AND STANDING AT SIX FEET TALL! TIIIIIITTOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: What RSA needs is a commentator we can count on. Someone that respects his partners and knows the meaning of teamwork
Andrew Fulton: Shut the fuck off! Rally is in the arena!
Jeremy Tucker: So what? Hes not even going to wrestle.
Andrew Fulton: Do you think he is going to waste his talent here in Australia? Id be disappointed.
[Cashout by Fugazi hits as the SynTron spells out, I TOOK THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. Red fog begins to stream out across the stage as the first verse kicks in, and A7 makes his appearance. Staring intently, he slowly looks from left to right as he makes his way down the ramp. Once in the ring, he climbs the middle turnbuckle and stares down Jerry Tucker and Andrew Fulton without gesturing]
Andrew Fulton: I think he has a crush on you Jerry.
Jeremy Tucker: What?
[Seven hops down and leans against the ropes, as the official referee of this match El Atlético, checks him and says the few rules he has to say and Tito goes over and grabs the mic from Frank Salazar.]
Tito: Hey Adam, who am I?
::stamping up and down like a baby::
"Ohh I can't believe you didn't talk about me this week. Rally must have you gagged. He talks for you anyway. I'm your first real opponent. Why won't you talk about me? You must be training. Let's not mention the fact that you simply don't think I'm worth your time. Oh why why why. Why won't you mention my name?"
Can it, shithead. You're lucky I even showed up tonight. I'm in freakin Australia, man. I should be out catching the waves. Not wrestling b-level wrestlers. Which isn't an insult, by the way, so don't take it as one. Since I'm currently on the d-level in these fictitious ratings I just made up. But even though I suck doesn't change the fact that you're mediocre. I mean one week, I'm beating Nick Cairo who IS by the way a better wrestler than you. And the next week, I'm putting you over. It's a crazy mixed up world we live in.
So don't cry because I didn't mention you all week. The cold hard truth of why I didn't was because I just couldn't find five minutes to waste. Seriously man, I apologize. Hopefully next time we fight, there'll be a couple minutes laying around that I have absolutely nothing more substantial to spend it on than you. But don't hold your breath.
And if you're a real opponent than I'd hate to see the fake ones. 'Cuz in front of me I see a lame gimmick, horrid mic skills, a lack of charisma, and absolutely no wrestling ability. That's the only thing REAL about you.
So hurry up and beat me so that you can live the rest of your life knowing you hold a victory over a Tiger's Den member.
[::enter Rally real quick::]
Rally Jackson: Albeit the worst one. Hey are you the same Adam Seven from IWA? The one I beat in that "Battle of Challenge of Circle of Champions" match? GOD you suck.
Tito, just try to get yourself counted out kid. Save face. While I come all over his wives'.
DING! DING! DING!
Jeremy Tucker: This match quickly starts with a lock up in the middle of the ring. Seven tries something but Tito twists his arm very fast! Seven rolls once on the mat and gets out of the lock, quickly turning around and sending Tito to the mat with a STO! Sleeper hold right after on the mat!
Andrew Fulton: I dont know why people makes such a big thing out of what happened at the MTV Video Music Awards, about Madonna kissing Britney and Cristina.
Jeremy Tucker: I dont see the relationship between the match and that
Andrew Fulton: There isnt. Im just bored in Melboring.
Jeremy Tucker (sarcastically) : Oh wow! Let me say youre helping me a lot with the commentary. You shouldnt have knocked out Navel with your laptop if you werent going to contribute at all.
Andrew Fulton: I shouldnt have? Well I think hes happy. Look at him; hes sucking his thumb like a baby.
Jeremy Tucker: Maybe you caused him severe brain damage.
Andrew Fulton: Who knows.
Jeremy Tucker: Well lets get back to the match
Andrew Fulton: Dont bother; theyre still in that sleeper hold. You know, going at the pace of a traditional Melboring technical match.
Jeremy Tucker: You have to see the art in it. I guess that if you could you would stop the match like Vince McMahon did in that house show, with Rhyno and Yoshihiro Tajiri.
Andrew Fulton: Hell yeah.
Jeremy Tucker: Now back to the match
Andrew Fulton: Nah, theyre still in the same sleeper hold.
Jeremy Tucker: OK then. Hey did you see that new non-reality show on Spike TV that started last week? The Joe Schmo Show?
Andrew Fulton: Yeah, I hate the guy. He wouldnt be there if not because he is so dumb. He is like Zach Gowen in the WWE. Hes there only because he is handicapped, one way or another.
Jeremy Tucker: You can be cruel sometimes. I really liked the show. Is not the best I have seen but oh well the fierce tantrum that the eliminated black girl threw was great in my opinion.
Andrew Fulton: I personally enjoyed the porn star part. Anyway I didnt watch it this week.
Jeremy Tucker: Me neither. Whoa, whoa! Tito is standing up from the mat with Sevens arm still wrapped around his neck in that sleeper hold. Hes getting out of the hold shoot! Tito fell to the mat again, and Seven keeps applying pressure to that hold.
Andrew Fulton: Well what else can we talk about?
Jeremy Tucker: Nothing comes to my mind.
Andrew Fulton: Why doesnt that surprise me? Hmmm let me see. Hey I have a newspaper here! Of course from a better place than this. The New York Times baby!
Jeremy Tucker: Whatever.
[Fulton checks the newspaper, passing the sheets quickly]
Andrew Fulton: Ok I got it. Horoscopes!
Jeremy Tucker: Oh Sweet Jesus.
Andrew Fulton: Aha Taurus. Guard against saying something you will regret. You wont win if you see only one side of a situation. Gather the facts first. Now with Leo!
Toby Navel (dizzy) : Who are you guys?
Andrew Fulton: Dont interrupt me; Im seconds away from reading something really important.
Jeremy Tucker: Hey Tito is up! Elbows to the ribs of Seven! Elbow! Elbow! Elbow! Tito gets out of the hold, runs to the ropes and comes back with a steady Lawrence Taylor shoulder block! Quick unorganized punches to the face and head of A7.
Andrew Fulton: Damn it!
Jeremy Tucker: What?
Andrew Fulton (screaming to Navel) : This son of a bitch threw up over the leg of my pants! Damn bastard!
Jeremy Tucker: Disgusting. All I can say is that its your entire fault, and only yours.
[Fulton kicks him away weakly]
Jeremy Tucker: Hey dont treat him like that. He is a RSA employee after all.
Andrew Fulton: So what; nobody cares about him. Proof: In any other case the EMTs wouldve rushed down the ramp to give him proper medical attention, right?
Jeremy Tucker: Right. What the hell is Tito thinking?
[Tito stares at Rally and points to the turnbuckle. Rally replies yawning]
Jeremy Tucker: I notice something strange
Toby Navel: TITO IS GOING ALL THE WAY UP TO THE TOP ROPE TO FINISH the already standing Adam Seven?
Jeremy Tucker: Tito was going to the top rope but the still cool Seven stops him locking him in a crucifix powerbomb position
Toby Navel (talking as a drunken veteran) : FLOM THA BACK!
Jeremy Tucker: Eh obviously. Go back to sleep Navel. Tito is in shock! CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB FROM THE SECOND ROPE! And a cute bridge!
El Atlético: One Two Thr (Tito kicks out!)
Toby Navel: Raven did a nice tray bot asnt gong to be so easey ah I feel like shit. Mommy help me.
Andrew Fulton: How a man can show he is so pathetic so many times in a few hours I really wonder how he can.
Jeremy Tucker: Yep, thats an event for Ripleys Believe it or Not.
Andrew Fulton: Fits more for The Worlds Funniest Animals.
Jeremy Tucker: Seven pulls Tito up by the hair. Tito tries to regain his domination in the match with hooks to A7s ribs but 7 pulls his arm and short clotheslines Tito. Tito chokes a little sitting on the mat.
Toby Navel (still dizzy) : Ravel with a stamp kick to the forehead, THA HEAD! WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT?!
Jeremy Tucker: Random kicks and
Toby Navel: [interrupting] WHAT DOES EVERYBODY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED?!
Andrew Fulton: [looking to the roof] God why you make fun of me? No one deserves to have to deal with an Al Snow mark, no one! What have I done, what?! You fucking bastard tell me what!
Jeremy Tucker: You are talking to God in that way? Stupid asshole!
Andrew Fulton: Hey Im just following RSA style. Ask Jake Porter and the Incredible Y.
Toby Navel: Anywaaaaayyyyy Snow is a greeeaaat wrestler without any doubt. I dont know I dont know what you are talking about frisk.
Andrew Fulton: So great he needed Coachman to come back to the picture he is so damn great.
Jeremy Tucker: Surely you are his #1 fan. Seven continues with kicks to the ribs and back of Tito, trying to lock him in a Half Boston Crab. He does! Tito is in pain and struggles to reach the bottom rope one foot away!
Toby Navel: PAIN!!! PAIN!!! PAIN!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Navel are you OK?! Your head is hurting?!
Toby Navel: PAIN!!! PAIN!!! PAIN!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Oh Jesus somebody help this poor guy! Wait a minute Fulton stop pinching him you maniac!
[Fulton who is biting his lips in delight stops pinching Navel]
Toby Navel: No more pain
Andrew Fulton: Yeah no more drama in my life meh.
[Tito pushes himself over the pain he is suffering because of 7s submission maneuver and finally reaches the bottom rope with his right hand]
Jeremy Tucker: Tito grabbed the rope and El Atlético orders 7 to release the lock.
Toby Navel: Raven steps awaaaaaaaaaaay from Tito and seizes him, waiting for him to stand up.
Jeremy Tucker: Navel let me do the commentary for now while you recover from that laptop shot.
Toby Navel: But I want
Jeremy Tucker: Rest a few minutes OK? Good. Tito stands up and Seven rushes to him to clock him with a Tito moved out of the way and Seven stops with the ropes a schoolboy pin faster than light!
El Atlético: One Two .Three! (Seven kicks out at last Pico-second!)
Jeremy Tucker: Seven is irate! Hits the mat with anger and goes for Tito only to go back to the mat with an out of nowhere Jay Leno arm drag!
[The audience starts to cheer for Tito]
Jeremy Tucker: Tito looks at Seven trying to stand up and runs to the ropes, bouncing back with THE FOREARM SMASH! Seven is out cold on the canvas! Tito amazed covers the fallen Seven as the crowd cheers louder for him!
El Atlético: One Two Three!! (Shoulder up by Seven!)
Andrew Fulton: Even the ref is confused.
Jeremy Tucker: What a great match were watching! Tito is excited because of the reaction of the people of Melbourne. He pulls up Seven to finish him but Seven wipes Titos hands off him and kicks him in the gut, immediately locking his head in an inverted headlock, signaling for "As the Worm Turns! His Twist of Fate into Stunner! Executed! Seven grapevine pins Tito
El Atlético: One Two Three!!!
DING! DING!! DING!!!
Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL! ADAM "SEVEN" PLUMMER!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Adam got the win! Theres no doubt that Tito doesnt have too much skills, but he damn sure has a big heart, and is learning every match! Great match well be back in a few, folks.
------------
Toby Navel: Jeremy; remind me what it means when a satanic-looking cult of fans emerge from the crowd and take the front row.
Jeremy Tucker: It means that its time to increase your medical and life insurance, because The Hellhounds have taken the stage!
[I Put a Spell on You by Marilyn Manson fills the ears of all in attendance, as Jonnie Valentine leads The Hellhounds out by their six-foot dog chains.]
Toby Navel: I dont get paid enough to be so close to the ring for these matches.
Jeremy Tucker: No one does, but can you imagine being in the ring with them?
[Cuban Necktie by Cypress Hill explodes on the airwaves as the Goodfellas charge the ring and go straight at it with The Hellhounds.]
Toby Navel: Adrian Tanner and James Murdock trading punches with the resident big dogs now. I tell you, in the faces of these guys is the LAST place Id like to be, and the Goodfellas are in it!
Jeremy Tucker: Show no fear in the face of the enemy; I suppose thats the plan!
Toby Navel: They simply arent the brawlers that The Hellhounds are though, as Psycho and Cerberus over-power the Goodfellas with crushing blows!
Jeremy Tucker: The Goodfellas on the ground, reeling from that beating. Cerberus grabs a hold of-his own partner? Toss on the ropes and a flying senton on Tanner!!
Toby Navel: Murdock with a swinging neckbreaker on Cerberus! He got it off!
Jeremy Tucker: Murdock locking it up with the rising Psycho, a knee to the gut gives Tanner the advantage. Toss toward the ropes, Irish whip reversal by Psycho Murdock ducks the clothesline from home! And a flying facebuster from off the ropes drops Psycho to the mat!!
Toby Navel: Psycho isnt staying down! Murdock with a drop toehold brings him back the mat and Tanner with an elbow to his back!!
Jeremy Tucker: And Cerberus flattens Murdock with a charge from the corner!! He caught him by surprise!!
Toby Navel: Tanner turning to face the much larger Cerberus, he misses a superkick and Cerberus launches Tanner out of the ring with a double underhook supplex!!
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus frothing at the mouth as he raises his hands to the crowd. Purgatories Puppies whooping their approval. Cerberus goes to the outside and reaches down to take a hold of the injured Tanner. He hoists him up in a firemans carry
Toby Navel: Psycho recovers and charges through the ring ropes!! Flying corkscrew neckbreaker as Cerberus completes a Samoan drop!!
Jeremy Tucker: Absolutely devastating!!
Toby Navel: Cerberus gets up; he smiles at the destruction hes just caused. He reaches over the guardrail to pick-up Tanner And Murdock with a baseball slid to Cerberus back, sending his ribs into the guardrail!!
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus turns to swing at Murdock, but Murdock ducks and slides back into the ring. Cerberus slides into the ring after him, and Murdock slides out and delivers a punch to the lower extremities of Cerberus.
Toby Navel: Murdock wising up; he knows he cant win in a straight up brawl with two monsters like The Hellhounds.
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus grabs Murdock by the right ear, he guides him to the top of the apron and delivers a crushing overhead punch to the back of Murdock. Cerberus goes for a supplex to bring his opponent back in the ring NO!!!
Toby Navel: Whoa!! Murdock reversed it!! He suplexed Cerberus right onto the outside guardrail!! Only his ribs broke his fall!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Psycho with a sign from one of The Puppies; he charges Murdock
[CRACK!!!]
Toby Navel: Whoa!! Thats the strongest cardboard Ive ever seen!
Jeremy Tucker: Murdock laying flat out on his back as Psycho pulls the cardboard picture of The Hellhounds off of a steel YEILD street sign!
Toby Navel: Yep, thatll hurt. Ya know, a similar situation happened to me once. There was this guy, and he had a French Poodle
Jeremy Tucker: and a lot of alcohol, Im sure, but you might have noticed that were in the middle of a match here sonny-boy! Tanner rises from the floor and a flying plancha right into Psychos back!! Psycho reeling, Tanner doesnt let up as he hits a spinning heel kick! He climbs on the apron hes going for the Running High Liter
Toby Navel: NO!!! He got caught mid-leap by Psycho!! Psycho nails Tanner with a t-bone into an ura-nage!! This is insane!!!
[THWAP!!!]
Jeremy Tucker: Murdock caught Psycho with a wrench!!! Whered he get that from!?! Now he chases Jonnie Valentine with that weapon!!
Toby Navel: Cerberus catches him by the neck! Murdock with a swing to the ribs! He couldnt get his full weight into it because of the chokehold, but its doing the damage due to the prior injury!! Another hit!! And yet another!! Murdock has gone crazy!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus reaches into the crowd, his hand probing for a weapon from Purgatories Puppies; what will it be!?!
Toby Navel: A meat thermometer!!!
Commissioner Brown: Stop the match!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Whered he come from?
Toby Navel: The front office?
Commissioner Brown: This is sick!! You guys are all out of control! Id expect that from The Hellhounds but from the Goodfellas? Are you applying for membership with The Hellhounds?
Jeremy Tucker: That meat thermometer wouldve been one hell of an interviewer.
Commissioner Brown: Dont get me wrong boys; this was a great match. Perhaps too good. In fact, too good for the price of admission!!
Toby Navel: The crowd not liking this one bit.
[Audience boos loudly.]
Toby Navel: See?
Commissioner Brown: I think that you boys need a more controlled environment. I am hereby rescheduling this match for two-weeks time at the Down Under Derby!!! You violent sons of bitches can kill each other in a no holds barred match!!!
Jeremy Tucker: So this match wasnt no holds barred?
Toby Navel: I think that the meat thermometer was barred.
---------
[The scene switches to the back, where we see Mars storming through the hallways, he looks pissed.]
Jeremy Tucker : There goes Mars, he looks like a man who is on a mission!
Andrew Fulton : Like Moe and Mabel?
Toby Navel : I wonder who it was who put him in that body bag?
Andrew Fulton : By the look on his face, they will be lucky if thats all he does to them!
[Mars rounds another corner, and see's Hero sitting on a table.]
Hero : Hey big guy. Hero here.
[Hero offers his hand to Mars, who stares a whole right through him.]
Hero : Ohhh, well, sorry to interrupt you, i can tell you have something on your mind, bad luck about what happened out there earlier.
[Mars keeps staring at Hero, unblinking then winds back and clocks him with a huge right hand, Hero goes down, and Mars continues walking down the corridor.]
Jeremy Tucker : Did you see that? Mars just leveled Hero!
Toby Navel : Hang on, Hero is back on his feet, he charges at Mars, and takes him down to the concrete with a big bulldog.
Jeremy Tucker : Looks like we are getting an added match up here tonight.
Toby Navel : Hero and Mars both to there feet,a nd they are really duking it out, exchanging lefts and rights.
Jeremy Tucker : And here come the security, whats with these guys, everytime a good brawl breaks out, these fools swarm in and break it up!
[Mars and Hero keep trying to get at each other, but the weight of the security numbers are too much, and they separate them.]
Jeremy Tucker : Looks like these two aren't finished with each other, lets hope we can get a match booked between them and sort it out in the ring, we'll be right back folks!
-------------
Jeremy Tucker : And we're back folks, what a great night its been, but now is the one everyone has been waiting for, the main event!
Andrew Fulton : What makes you think everyone is waiting for this match?
Jeremy Tucker : Well, its the main event, two of the three men who will be competing for the Australian Heavyweight Title at the Down Under Derby PPV!
Andrew Fulton : That is shaping up to be one hell of a card, i cant wait to see Commission Brown get rid of Reeve, man, if i have to hear about him and his hang ups with Soutter one more time, hey Reeve, "GET OVER IT!"
Toby Navel : And what about the other match announced tonight for the ppv, The Hellhounds Vs the Goodfella's!
Jeremy Tucker : After what we have just seen them four guys do tonight, anything can happen in that one!
[The opening to The Headless Children by WASP hits and smoke fills the entrance ramp, black lights cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background, the main guitar riff hits and Triple B, Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke and walks towards destiny.]
Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, AND IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING, INTRODUCING FIRST, HAILING FROM RED BANK, NJ, AND COMING IN AT 6'5 & 225 LBS, "TRIPLE B" BIG BAD BIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Toby Navel : There he is, the man i am picking to win it all at the ppv, and become the first Ring Syndicate Australia Heavyweight Champion!
Andrew Fulton : He doesn't stand a chance!
Toby Navel : You sound pretty confident there Fulton, why dont you back it up!
Andrew Fulton : Why don't you go and get me a coffee, and know your god damned role!
Jeremy Tucker : Good one Rock! Seriously Andrew, you seem pretty sure of yourself that Bill wont win the Title, what will you do if he can?
Andrew Fulton : OK, is this the part where i am supposed to get all rattled and agree to strip in the ring or something if he wins it?
Toby Navel : Did you hear that Jerry, Fulton just said he would strip off in the ring if Bill won the title!
Andrew Fulton : I did not!
Jeremy Tucker : Forget it Toby, he would never follow through with it anyway, he's got no balls, and if he had to strip, everyone would see just that!
Andrew Fulton : All right, your on! Triple B wins the title at the ppv, and i'll strip off in the centre of the ring!
[Toby and Jerry high five as Me Against Me by Project 86 hits, and Nick Cairo slowly makes his way onto the rampway, he poses for the crowd, and then continues on towards the ring.]
Frank Salazar : AND NOW MAKING HIS WAY TOWARDS THE RING, HAILING FROM BAKERSFIELD, CA, AND COMING IN AT 6' & 221 LBS, NICK CAIIIROOOOOOO!!!]
Ding, ding, ding!
Jeremy Tucker : Referee Nick Tsalazidis just signaled for the bell while Cairo was entering the ring, and this one is underway.
Toby Navel : So Fulton, who you think is going to win this one?
Andrew Fulton : Get stuffed Toby!
Jeremy Tucker : Please guys, Cairo and Bill move in to meet each other in the centre of the ring, they hook up, and Bill is using his unorthodox method of digging his fingers into Cairo's neck, trying to cut of the carrarted artery.
Toby Navel : Nick Cairo having none of it, he is still fresh, and whips Bill into the ropes .....
Jeremy Tucker : Bill reverses the Irish whip, and .....
[WHAM!]
Toby Navel : Thrust kick out of no where!
Jeremy Tucker : Out of no where is right, Bill nailed him right on the chin, and Cairo hits the deck!
Toby Navel : Triple B is such an unusual wrestler, i have never come across anyone like him.
Andrew Fulton: In all your weeks in the business?
Jeremy Tucker : Your right Toby, he is one of a kind, Cairo showing some signs of movement on the mat, and Triple B moves into the side of him, and grabs a hold of the neck, applying pressure, this must be one of his pressure point moves!
Toby Navel : Bill has mastered every pressure point on the human body, and even some animals!
Andrew Fulton : Isn't that illegal?
Jeremy Tucker : Your a sick man Fulton!
Andrew Fulton : Me? I'm not the one going around applying pressure point holds and god knows what else on animals!
[Nick Cairo slides over to the ropes, and referee Nick Tsalazidis forces Bill to break the hold.]
Jeremy Tucker : Nick Cairo back up to his feet now, and both men hook up again.
Toby Navel : Bill again digging them long fingers into the neck of Cairo!
Jeremy Tucker : Cairo whips Bill towards the ropes, Bill goes to reverse it again, Nick was expecting it, and hooks him around the waist, planting Triple B with a devastating Belly to Belly suplex!
Toby Navel : Bill going to the well once to often there, and Cairo was more than ready for it!
[Bill back to his feet, and Nick catches him with a nice European uppercut, and then drills him with a snap suplex.]
Jeremy Tucker : Cairo was lightning quick there, and he is really taking it to Bill!
[Bill getting to his feet, and Nick hooks him and rolls him up in a small package.]
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............... 2 .................(Triple B breaks the hold.)
Toby Navel : Cairo nearly had him there, both men get to there feet, and Nick Cairo lifts Bill up under the shoulders and connects with a high impact Sky High! Shades of D LO Brown there.
Andrew Fulton : Do you think D LO is related to our very own Commissioner Brown?
Jeremy Tucker : Well, its such an uncommon name, you never would know! Cairo calls that the Rydeen Bomb!
Toby Navel : Cairo surprised me this week, talking about his lifestyle, he is Straight Edge, and he doesn't care who knows!
Andrew Fulton : That is something i will never understand! No sex before marriage? No drinking? No fun?
Jeremy Tucker : He is a role model Fulton!
[Cairo lines Bill up for a back heel kick, and Bill counters it with a punch to the ankle. Cairo stumbles, but retains his footing, and swings at Bill with a right, favoring his poor foot.]
[CRACK!]
Toby Navel : Triple B just punched Nick right in the fist, he wasn't expecting that, Bill wastes no time grabbing Cairo and tossing him over his head!
Jeremy Tucker : Nick gets to his feet quickly, still favoring the leg and ringing his fist that Bill just smashed, and Bill tosses him over again, Cairo landing heavily.
Toby Navel : Triple B tossing him around like a rag doll, this one has really turned around, and Bill is now having his way with Nick Cairo!
[Triple B picks up Cairo and throws him into the ropes, Cairo comes running in, and Bill takes him down with a nice trip.]
Jeremy Tucker : Triple B tripping Nick over there, and Cairo went face first into the mat.
Toby Navel : Cairo in deep trouble here, i got the feeling Triple B could put him away any second now.
[SMASH]
Jeremy Tucker : SWEET JESUS! Nick Cairo just clipped the knee of Triple B! Desperation move there from Nick!
[Cairo wastes no time, he grabs Bills and locks in a knee bar, and then turns it around, and connects with a few elbows to the extended knee.]
Toby Navel : Cairo trying to take away the legs of Bill. Nick picks Bill up and drops him with a Flair knee breaker, and then follows it up with a Dragon Screw leg whip, he really is going to work on the legs of Bill now!
[Nick Cairo now nails Triple B with a Ventura Backbreaker into a falling DDT]
Jeremy Tucker : Rocky Horror Picture Show he calls that combo. Cairo runs and climbs the ropes, while Bill gets to his feet.
Toby Navel : He got him! Nick Cairo connected with the missile dropkick to the back of Bill's head, this could be it right here, as Cairo drops for a cover, and hooks a leg!
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ................ 2 ....................... (Triple B rolls the shoulder, and the Dandenong Basketball stadium takes a collective breathe.)
Jeremy Tucker : This match is in the balance right here, which way is it going to go?
[Nick Cairo hits Bill with a Standing Moonsault, and then follows it up with a Quebrada Moonsault.]
Toby Navel : Cairo looking the goods here! Nick signals that its all over, and goes for the Split leg moonsault!
Jeremy Tucker : Three in a row, he calls that combo the 3rd Phase of the Moon!
Andrew Fulton : Well, maybe there was an eclipse or something there on that third one, because Bill just rolled out of the way of Nick in the nick of time, no pun intended!
Jeremy Tucker : Cairo missed it, he missed the split leg moonsault!
Toby Navel : Thats opened the door for Triple B, and he doesn't need more than one opportunity, and he nails Cairo with a devastating raised open hand!
Jeremy Tucker : That rocked Nick, he slammed that upper hand right into Cairo and thats the set up for the Dis - Locator!
Toby Navel : DIS LOCATOR! Triple B just locked Nick Cairo in the Dis Locator, and this one is all over!
Jeremy Tucker : Referee Nick Tsalazidis down in position checking on Cairo.
[CRACK!]
Toby Navel : SEVEN JUST NAILED TRIPLE B WITH A COPPER PIPE!
Jeremy Tucker : What in the heck is he doing out here!
[Triple B slumps to the ground unconscious and Nick Cairo rolls ontop of him for the cover.]
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............... 2 ................................ 3!!!!!!!!!
Toby Navel : Cairo did it, ohh my god, Nick Cairo just defeated Triple B Big Bad Bill!
[CRACK!]
Jeremy Tucker : Damn that Seven, he just nailed Nick Cairo with the copper pipe as well, and now he enters the ring, looking down at both men with a cocky smirk on his face........
[Cashout by Fugazi hits and Adam Plummer raises one hand in the air as the show fades.]
Jeremy Tucker (fading) : Damn, we are out of time folks, catch us next week on the final No Mans Land before the Down Under Derby PPV!
Jeremy Tucker : Howdy fans, and welcome to No Mans Land, we are only a couple of weeks away from the Down Under Derby PPV, and we got a huge night in store for you, so, lets take it to the ring!
Jeremy Tucker: The first match up tonight is a triple threat between Mars, Javert and Ruthless L. Reeve!
Toby Navel: That's right! We have seen some impressive things from all three, so I'm personally excited to see this match!
Andrew Fulton: I'm not. I know Mars shall win! BWAHAHA!
Jeremy Tucker: Javert is already in the ring warming up. He has a look of determination on his face.
Frank Salazar: First, Javert!!!
[Javert plays to the crowd then resumes warming up]
Frank Salazar: His first opponent, from Melbourne, Australia, weighing in at 317 pounds, RUTHLESS L. REEVE!!!!
[Reeve comes in from the crowd and immediately blindsides Javert]
Toby Navel: A clothesline!
Jeremy Tucker: That nearly took Javert's head off!
Frank Salazar: Finally, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 340 pounds, MARS!!!!
[ The house lights dim as Unholy begins to play softly over the PA system. The volume keeps growing louder, until the lyrics begin.
[]
[[Chained slaves to their cages]]
[]
[[Im the cycle of pain]]
[[Of a thousand year old reign]]
The tron begins to show images of bloody battles that advance through several time periods.
Smoke and fog begin to billow from under the ramp.
A single red spotlight shines down through the fog to the top of the ramp.
Mars appears in the center of the light bathed in an eerie darkness.
[[Im suicide and salvation]]
[[The omen to nations]]
[[That you worship on all fours]]
[[Im the infection and famine]]
[[Thats knocking at your door]]
As the spotlight fades and the house lights come up the fog and smoke can be seen rolling towards the ring.
[[Thats why youre feeling so ]]
Mars steps down the ramp towards the ring. A chorus of boos and jeers begin. Mars threatens the fans as he walks towards the ring, which brings even more reactions from the fans.
[[Unholy]]
[[Oh. I was created by man, you know Im ]]
[[Unholy]]
[[Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah]]
Mars stops at ringside points to his opponent and does a throat slashing gesture before climbing into the ring.]
Toby Navel: Now Mars is talking to Reeve. They seem to have come to an agreement!
[Mars picks up Javert and throws him at Reeve's knee]
Jeremy Tucker: A tag team move by Mars and Reeve!
Toby Navel: Now Mars throws out Reeve!
[Reeve goes tumbling out and Mars goes for cover]
Jeremy Tucker:1....2.... no!
Toby Navel: I don't think it's going to be that easy!
[Mars picks up Javert and chokes Javert before tossing him]
Jeremy Tucker: A choke toss!
Toby Navel: Now Reeve is coming to and he slides in the ring.
Jeremy Tucker: Reeve with a Saving Grace DDT on Javert!
Toby Navel: Mars and Reeve is really sticking it in to Javert!
[Mars goes to the top rope but Reeve crotches him]
Jeremy Tucker: Oh a toss by Reeve!
[Javert goes for cover but Reeve pulls Javert off]
Toby Navel: Reeve with a big boot to Javert!
[Mars gets up and clotheslines Reeve]
Jeremy Tucker: Now Mars goes for a cover on Javert!
Toby Navel: 1....2.... no!
[Mars throws Reeve out again]
Jeremy Tucker: I guess Mars wants Javert to himself!
[Mars with a powerbomb on Javert]
Toby Navel: Ouch that gotta hurt!
Jeremy Tucker: Indeed!
[Mars waits for Javert to get up then short arm clotheslines him]
Toby Navel: Now Javert is hurt!
[Reeve gets in the ring and kicks Mars in the guts and throws him out]
Jeremy Tucker: Guess they're playing turns on Javert!
[Reeve with a Raven Effect DDT on Javert]
Toby Navel: A ddt!
[Reeve lifts Javert up and A full nelson slam]
Jeremy Tucker: The way this match is going, it's not gonna be long
before someone pins Javert!
[Mars gets up and kicks Reeve out of the ring]
Jeremy Tucker: Mars's motioning for his finisher!
[Mars with an inverted body vise into a brainbuster powerbomb on Javert]
Toby Navel: THE APOCALYPSE!!!
[Mars goes for cover]
Jeremy Tucker: 1.....2....... WHAT'S THIS?!
[The arena goes dark. It remains dark for a good minute. Then the lights go back on to Reeve standing in the ring. Javert is still out cold. There's a black bodybag with two red "B" on it and small Xs over where the eyes would be. Mars is in the bag]
Jeremy Tucker: We're confused here!
[Reeve picks up Javert and executes the Ruthless Edge]
Jeremy Tucker: A cover! 1.....2....3!
Toby Navel: RUTHLESS WINS!
Frank Salazar: Your winner. Ruthless L. Reeve!!!
[Hot to Death by Everlast hits.]
Jeremy Tucker: That was a strange ending to a decent match!
Andrew Fulton: Who is "BB"?
Toby Navel : I dont know, you think Reeve had anything to do with this?
Jeremy Tucker : Lord knows, we'll be back after these messages fol...... hang on a sec, Commissioner Brown is storming to the ring, lets stay with this.
Commissioner Brown : Just what the hell do you think your doing Reeve?
[Ruthless L Reeve stands there staring at the Commissioner.]
Commissioner Brown (moving right up to Reeve, and looking right up to his eyes.) : I'm talking to you boy! I've had it with your crap, whats the meaning of this ......
[Commissioner Brown motions to the bodybag, and Reeve snatches the mic from him.]
Ruthless L Reeve : Don't know and don't care!
[Reeve drops the mic, and turns his back on Brown heading out of the ring. Brown quickly picks the mic back up.]
Commissioner Brown : Where do you think your going, don't you turn your back on me!
[Reeve hesitates at the ropes, then steps over the top rope to leave the ring.]
Commissioner Brown : REEVE! I'm not finished with you yet boy! I haven't even started!
[Reeve steps back over the rope into the ring, and moves towards Brown, standing over him trying to intimidate him.]
Commissioner Brown : Don't you look down at me, who the hell do you think you are anyway, Mars had you beat, he had this match won, everyone knows that, and you try and concoct these shananagans!
Jeremy Tucker : Shananagans?
[Reeve snatches the mic.]
Ruthless L Reeve : Look, i told you, i dont know what happened to your boy, and i dont care, he is making a name for himself around here, obviously someone wanted to cash in on that, but hey, thats fine with me, I am more than happy to take the win!
Commissioner Brown : I'll bet you are, but i got a little surprise for you Reeve, actually, i got two surprises for you.
[Behind Reeve, Mars' fist breaks through the bodybag!]
Commissioner Brown : This region aint big enough for the both of us Reeve, Soutter has told me to take you out by any means necessary, and i plan on doing just that, so, we are going to have some fun, there is an old saying, if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself, so, Sept 30th, at the Down Under Derby, its going to be you Ruthless L Reeve, right in the centre of this ring, going at it in singles competition against .............. yours truly, Commissioner Brown!
Toby Navel : Ohhh my god, he's booked himself against Reeve for the PPV!
[Reeve chuckles.]
Commissioner Brown : Laugh it up, while you can, because if you loose this match, then (Vince McMahon voice) "YOUR FIRED!"
Ruthless L Reeve : Thats bullshit! Who do you think i am, Goldberg? You expect me to just put my career on the line for nothing? No way, you want this match, you got it, but you got to put your career on the line as well! Loser leaves Australia, thats the only way it will work!
Commissioner Brown : You got it! I'll see you at the PPV, if you make it that is, see, i seem to remember you running your mouth last week in your promo's, well, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it, next week, right here in Dandenong, its going to be you, Ruthless L Reeve vs ....... THE HELLHOUNDS!!!! Two on One in a handicap match, and I'll be left to clean up the scraps at the Down Under Derby!!! HaHaHa!!!
Ruthless L Reeve : Ohh, I'll be there, dont you worry about that! Whats the second surprise then?
[Commissioner Brown points behind Reeve to Mars who is now out of the body bag and standing right behind him.]
Commissioner Brown : THAT!
[WHAM!]
Jeremy Tucker : CHOKESLAM!!!
Toby Navel : Reeve turned around, and Mars just drilled him with that devastating chokeslam!
[Brown and Mars then stomp away on Reeve as we fade to a commercial.]
---------
*We return from a commercial break to see Zeus and Excellence in the ring, awaiting the opening bell.*
Jeremy Tucker: This match getting underway now nice arm drag by Excellence into and arm bar, but Zeus is fighting back to his feet already!
Toby Navel: Zeus with a knee to the ribs and another hard right hand there, knocking Excellence down. Zeus into the cover!
Referee Don El Don:
1
(kickout)
Andrew Fulton: Pfft. Why did he even bother there?
Jeremy Tucker: Well he obviously wanted to try a quick cover, but hes dragging Excellence back to his feet now nice body slam by Zeus!
Toby Navel: Zeus with a sleeper hold locked in after that slam Excellence is making it to his feet though
Jeremy Tucker: Excellence with the whip to Zeus OHHH! What a clothesline by Zeus! Excellence is trying to get back to his feet
Toby Navel: Zeus is stalking DDT!
Jeremy Tucker: Cover by Zeus!
Referee Don El Don:
1
2
(kickout)
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus wasting little time here though, he pops Excellence right back up into a Vertical Suplex!
Toby Navel: Look though- Zeus still has the suplex position hooked! He delivers another to Excellence!
Jeremy Tucker: Zeus has Excellence back up belly to belly suplex!
Toby Navel: Zeus is on fire! Could have him here
Referee Don El Don:
1
2
(kickout)
Jeremy Tucker: Both men are back to their feet Excellence is dazed look out! Zeus lifts Excellence into that inverted crucifix bomb position
Toby Navel: The Wrath of Zeus!
Jeremy Tucker: This must be all!
Referee Don El Don:
1
2
3!!
Frank Salazar: Here is your winner ZEUS!
Toby Navel: What a win for Zeus!
----------
[The 'Tron goes to black. In the dark sot, you see a figure step forward, but only from the chest down. The figure, a very imposing one,brings his hands forward and cracks his knuckles. An unfamiliar voice speaks.]
Voice: You ever feel the need to change things, to rise and shake things up? You wanna be a thorn in everyone's side? Are you just out for a little attention? You lookin' to cause trouble?
[The figure puts his right fist into his left hand.]
Voice: Well......forget it!
[The figure punches the screen so hard it shakes and then fades out, leaving the words:]
MR. FIXIT IS HEADED YOUR WAY.
----------
Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. Your referee is Jimmy Nor.
["Place your hands" by Reef begins to play.]
Frank Salazar: Now introducing from Parts Unknown, at 6 foot even and 230 pounds the Incredible Y.
Andrew Fulton: Porter had better be ready because Y is going to KICK HIS ASS!
Jeremy Tucker: Is Y paying you to say these things?
Andrew Fulton: Hey I needed a little extra, and
Jeremy Tucker: You disgust me! Take it away Frank while I reach for my barf bag
["Sabotage" by Beastie Boys plays over the loudspeakers.]
Frank Salazar: Now introducing from New York, at 6 feet 6 inches and weighing 265 poun
Jeremy Tucker: Hey! Look at this! Porter was hiding under the ring the whole time! Y doesn't know it!
Andrew Fulton: Look out Y!
[Ding- Ding- Ding-]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter nails him with a hard left, another!
[Porter throws Y out of the ring!]
Toby Navel: The crowd loves it!
Andrew Fulton: Yeah, well, Porter snuck up on him. I would like to see him do that to Y when he is looking!
Jeremy Tucker: In any case, Y grabs Porter, and brings him to the outside!
[The referee Jimmy Nor begins the ten count.]
Toby Navel: This is going to be a knockdown, drag-out match I can tell!
[One]
Jeremy Tucker: No question about it.
[Two]
[Y grabs a handful of hair, and rams Porters head into the corner!]
[Three]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter is dazed, and Y tries again.
[Four]
Toby Navel: PORTER BLOCKS!!!
[Five]
[Porter rams Y's head into the guardrail instead!]
[Six]
Toby Navel: The ref stopped counting. I think he's going to let this one go!
Jeremy Tucker: It sure looks that way. Y and Porter are still on the outside.
[Porter is chasing around Y.]
Toby Navel: Look at this! Porter ducked under the ring apron and Y is looking for him!
[Y doesnt see where Porter is.]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter comes out, and Y is still looking! Porter jumps on the ring, sneaks behind Y, and delivers a flying clothesline!
Toby Navel: Unbelievable!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Y is moving slow and Porter has the advantage.
[Porter goes to the ring apron again, but he telegraphs it.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y rams Porters neck full speed into the outer guard wall!
Toby Navel: Man, that had to hurt!
Andrew Fulton: I love Y's all to familiar style! Win by any means necessary!
[Y slowly grabs Porter, and throws him into the ring.]
Jeremy Tucker: Youre not going to get into that again, are you?
Andrew Fulton: Just because I know who Y is, no need to get jealous.
Toby Navel: Tell me; tell me, I want to know!
Andrew Fulton / Jeremy Tucker: SHUT UP, TOBY!!
Jeremy Tucker: Finally, some ring action! I was wondering if they were ever going to get in the ring!
Toby Navel: I know. It feels like theyve been out there forever.
Jeremy Tucker: Well, forever is stretching it a bit, but they're in the ring now.
[Y picks up Porter, and hits him hard.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y nails Porter with a Pumphandle Slam!
[The ref slides to check the pin]
Toby Navel: Cover one two
Jeremy Tucker: Kickout by Porter.
Andrew Fulton: Aaah, just admit it, Y had him beat!
Jeremy Tucker: Did you see the ref say three? I didn't think so.
[Y picks up Porter again, and nails him with a DDT.]
Toby Navel: Another cover one two
Jeremy Tucker: Yet another kickout by the Porter, but he's in trouble!
Toby Navel: You can say that again!
Jeremy Tucker: Y grabs him again, hits him hard, nails him with a European uppercut, and another!
Toby Navel: Y is pummeling Porter!
[Y with a Powerslam.]
Jeremy Tucker: A cover one two
Toby Navel: Oh man! I thought it was over.
Jeremy Tucker: Porter is showing some unbelievable tenacity out there.
Toby Navel: Unbelievable!
Andrew Fulton: This is almost embarrassing for Porter. He isn't putting up much of a fight!
Jeremy Tucker: What Match are you watching? Y has hit Porter with everything but the kitchen sink, and he still cant put him away!
[Y goes to the second rope, as Porter gets back to his feet.]
Toby Navel: Y nails Porter with a second rope bulldog!
[Y goes to the top rope.]
Toby Navel: Y certainly taking his own sweet time!
Andrew Fulton: Put him away, Y!
Jeremy Tucker: Taking that much time against Porter, is going to be a big mistake for Y.
[Y is slowly getting to the top.]
Toby Navel: He's there! He raises his arms! This could be the end for Porter!
Andrew Fulton: Count it over! Porter is screwed!
[Porter rolls out of the way.]
Toby Navel: He missed! He missed!
Jeremy Tucker: Porter still has life left in him.
Toby Navel: Unbelievable!!!
[Both men are down. The ref is slowly counting.]
Jimmy Nor: One Two Three Four
[Porter is the first to his feet.]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter is dragging Y to his feet.
[Porter Powerbombs Y into a pin.]
Toby Navel: Cover One
Jeremy Tucker: Kickout by Y.
[Y gets to his feet first.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y picks up Porter.
Toby Navel: Low blow!!!
[Y crumples over.]
Andrew Fulton: He cant do that to Y. Doesnt he know who that is?
Jeremy Tucker: Like you do?
Andrew Fulton: Yes, like me! Thats Oh, forget it.
Jeremy Tucker: Porter drags Y to the middle of the ring.
[Porter picks Y up.]
Jeremy Tucker: Porter goes for a German Suplex.
[Porter nails Y with three suplexes.]
Toby Navel: What a huge release suplex at the end!
Jeremy Tucker: Porter goes for the cover One Two (Kickout)
Toby Navel: Almost Three.
[The crowd getting right behind Jake Porter, and he is really working them, he starts clapping and they clap along with him, and then start chanting his name, then all of a sudden, he gives them the up yours sign, and the crowd turn on him and begin boo'ing him.]
Jeremy Tucker : These fans sure changed there mind in a hurry!
Andrew Fulton : Sure did, scum they are wouldn't know how to sticj with smeone if there life dependanded on it. (cupping his hands over his mouth) "THAT THE BOY PORTER, GIVE IT HIM!"
Jeremy Tucker: Porter better pay more attention to Y.
[Porter drags Y to his feet.]
Toby Navel: Porter sends Y for a ride into the corner.
[Y crashes into the turnbuckles.]
Jeremy Tucker: Y is just hanging there.
Toby Navel: Porter is going for the spear!!!
[Y moves out of the way, sending Porter into the ringpost.]
Toby Navel: He missed!!!
[Y with a Schoolboy roll-up.]
Jeremy Tucker: The ref slides in to make the count.
Toby Navel: Y HAS PORTERS TIGHTS!
[The ref begins the count.]
Jeremy Tucker: One Two
[The Incredible Y gets his feet up on the ropes.]
Jeremy Tucker: THREE
Andrew Fulton: Y did it! Y did it!
[Y slides out of the ring holding his head and makes his way to the back.]
Toby Navel: IS THE REF BLIND!!!
[Jake Porter is on his feet screaming at the ref.]
Jeremy Tucker: I think Porter agrees with you, Toby.
[Porter just laid out the ref.]
Toby Navel: Oh My God!!!
[Porter is lifting Jimmy Nor to his feet.]
Toby Navel: PLAY OF THE WEEK!!! PLAY OF THE WEEK!!!
[Porter is standing over the prone ref, talking trash.]
Jeremy Tucker: Lets go too commercial, while this all gets sorted out.
----------
Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks, this new match promises to be a big one!
[The arena lights go out, and the ring is covered in pyro, you cant see anything in there, "Nothing Sacred" By Memento hits, the pyro continues to sizzle as the song plays.]
Toby Navel : Whats going on in there?
Andrew Fulton : I would say its just a technical difficulty, lets go to a commercial break!
Jeremy Tucker : Thats no technical difficulty!
[The pyro stops, and standing in the centre of the ring is ................... Hero!]
Toby Navel : ITS HERO!
Jeremy Tucker : YES! Hero has arrived in Australia!
[Hero pulls a mic out of his back pocket and just stands there, the fans giving him a huge ovation.]
Toby Navel : The Aussie fans know a true superstar when they see one!
Hero : Wow! Thats incredible, and not like the Y! What a feeling, you guys sure know how to make a guy feel welcome!
[Hero again pauses and looks out to the crowd, and HE - RO chant starts up.]
Andrew Fulton : When did this guy learn how to work a crowd?
Hero : Well, i must say, i'm shocked, looks like you guys down under know your wrestling! I'm not here to take up half an hour of tv time like some others like to in this business, just to come out here and let all you great fans, and all the guys in the back know, Hero is here in Australia!
[Another huge pop.]
Hero : I have been in this business for a while now, and i feel that i am now ready to fulfill all my "potential", and take it to the next level here in Ring Syndicate! I sure am looking forward to all the competition over here in Australia, and also looking forward to performing in front of you awesome fans!
[Hero drops the mic and "Nothing Sacred" By Memento hits as he makes his way up the rampway to a huge reaction.]
---------
Jeremy Tucker: Well folks, we're back for more non-stop action not allowed for cardiac people!
Toby Navel: And neither for epileptic patients and old women or men that suffer from high blood pressure!
Andrew Fulton: Can you just shut the hell up? Im trying to hear the latest Jamie Kings Backstage Pass with Big Stan in my laptop.
Toby Navel: I cant shut up. Im a contracted commentator of the best wrest
Andrew Fulton: Ohh, you make my work more intolerable than it already is. Now shhh!
Jeremy Tucker: Why are you watching that stuff? I mean what for? You always living in the past Fulton really get over it.
Andrew Fulton: Im not fucking living in the damn past Jerry I just want to hear this
Jeremy Tucker: Take it easy pal. I think the environment is getting into you.
Toby Navel: Yeah, look at you! You look like shit lately.
Andrew Fulton: So you fuckers wont let me watch this.
Toby Navel: Hell no, you are supposed to be here where the action
[Fulton cracks his laptop on Navels head! Navel falls unconscious in the floor]
Jeremy Tucker: Laptop shot straight to the head!
Andrew Fulton: Thanks for the play by play commentary, Jerry the never will be king Tucker.
Jeremy Tucker: Screw you. Why'd you do that to him?
Andrew Fulton: Hello he is Navel. Anyway that relaxed me a little bit at least.
Jeremy Tucker: Well yeah I guess you have a point. Man but you should calm down, really.
Andrew Fulton: Cmon what do you expect me to do? Im stuck in this small island
Jeremy Tucker: Small island!? This is a whole continent
Andrew Fulton: Small island I said! And dont ever interrupt me again cigarette. Weve been in this shit hole of Melboring for what a fucking eternal month? Yes Im tired of this small place and the same stupid people attending to the shows every week from hell, and Im pissed off because of it.
Jeremy Tucker: The Australian citizens are great I dont know what youre talking about.
Andrew Fulton: As great as a dog poop on your shoe. Look, the other night I had a nightmare. There was the milk spitting ugly cow of Kung Pow wait a minute no it was Soutter. Yep, he was with this pervert face grabbing a rope with his right hand a rope that was attached to a big bell in a tower, like a church or something. Whatever it was, the bastard pulled the rope and the bell started making this loud sound DAN DE NONG DAN DE NONG DAN DE NONG!!! All while Soutter was laughing his ass off hysterically oh man it was terrible.
Jeremy Tucker: Ha! He! Ha! Ah youre finally going nuts dude. Well lets get back to work here comes Tito without any music. Darn, somebody should help this guy with his persona because I feel Rally is not moving a finger for him.
[Tito jogs down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope to get into the ring. Tito walks close to the ropes and lifts his hand in the air trying to pump up the crowd, getting a mild reaction, a few claps here, a few boos there]
Andrew Fulton: Hey is Rally Jackson in the entranceway!
[Huge ovation from the audience]
Andrew Fulton: Here comes what Ring Syndicate Australia needs to survive!
Jeremy Tucker: I dont think so. What needs RSA is a better commentator than you.
Frank Salazar: THIS IS A CONTEST SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! COMING FROM COZUMEL MEXICO ACOMPAINED BY TIGERHEART RALLY JACKSON!
[Crowd starts to chat TIGER HEART, TIGER HEART, TIGER HEART!]
Frank Salazar: WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY POUNDS AND STANDING AT SIX FEET TALL! TIIIIIITTOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: What RSA needs is a commentator we can count on. Someone that respects his partners and knows the meaning of teamwork
Andrew Fulton: Shut the fuck off! Rally is in the arena!
Jeremy Tucker: So what? Hes not even going to wrestle.
Andrew Fulton: Do you think he is going to waste his talent here in Australia? Id be disappointed.
[Cashout by Fugazi hits as the SynTron spells out, I TOOK THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. Red fog begins to stream out across the stage as the first verse kicks in, and A7 makes his appearance. Staring intently, he slowly looks from left to right as he makes his way down the ramp. Once in the ring, he climbs the middle turnbuckle and stares down Jerry Tucker and Andrew Fulton without gesturing]
Andrew Fulton: I think he has a crush on you Jerry.
Jeremy Tucker: What?
[Seven hops down and leans against the ropes, as the official referee of this match El Atlético, checks him and says the few rules he has to say and Tito goes over and grabs the mic from Frank Salazar.]
Tito: Hey Adam, who am I?
::stamping up and down like a baby::
"Ohh I can't believe you didn't talk about me this week. Rally must have you gagged. He talks for you anyway. I'm your first real opponent. Why won't you talk about me? You must be training. Let's not mention the fact that you simply don't think I'm worth your time. Oh why why why. Why won't you mention my name?"
Can it, shithead. You're lucky I even showed up tonight. I'm in freakin Australia, man. I should be out catching the waves. Not wrestling b-level wrestlers. Which isn't an insult, by the way, so don't take it as one. Since I'm currently on the d-level in these fictitious ratings I just made up. But even though I suck doesn't change the fact that you're mediocre. I mean one week, I'm beating Nick Cairo who IS by the way a better wrestler than you. And the next week, I'm putting you over. It's a crazy mixed up world we live in.
So don't cry because I didn't mention you all week. The cold hard truth of why I didn't was because I just couldn't find five minutes to waste. Seriously man, I apologize. Hopefully next time we fight, there'll be a couple minutes laying around that I have absolutely nothing more substantial to spend it on than you. But don't hold your breath.
And if you're a real opponent than I'd hate to see the fake ones. 'Cuz in front of me I see a lame gimmick, horrid mic skills, a lack of charisma, and absolutely no wrestling ability. That's the only thing REAL about you.
So hurry up and beat me so that you can live the rest of your life knowing you hold a victory over a Tiger's Den member.
[::enter Rally real quick::]
Rally Jackson: Albeit the worst one. Hey are you the same Adam Seven from IWA? The one I beat in that "Battle of Challenge of Circle of Champions" match? GOD you suck.
Tito, just try to get yourself counted out kid. Save face. While I come all over his wives'.
DING! DING! DING!
Jeremy Tucker: This match quickly starts with a lock up in the middle of the ring. Seven tries something but Tito twists his arm very fast! Seven rolls once on the mat and gets out of the lock, quickly turning around and sending Tito to the mat with a STO! Sleeper hold right after on the mat!
Andrew Fulton: I dont know why people makes such a big thing out of what happened at the MTV Video Music Awards, about Madonna kissing Britney and Cristina.
Jeremy Tucker: I dont see the relationship between the match and that
Andrew Fulton: There isnt. Im just bored in Melboring.
Jeremy Tucker (sarcastically) : Oh wow! Let me say youre helping me a lot with the commentary. You shouldnt have knocked out Navel with your laptop if you werent going to contribute at all.
Andrew Fulton: I shouldnt have? Well I think hes happy. Look at him; hes sucking his thumb like a baby.
Jeremy Tucker: Maybe you caused him severe brain damage.
Andrew Fulton: Who knows.
Jeremy Tucker: Well lets get back to the match
Andrew Fulton: Dont bother; theyre still in that sleeper hold. You know, going at the pace of a traditional Melboring technical match.
Jeremy Tucker: You have to see the art in it. I guess that if you could you would stop the match like Vince McMahon did in that house show, with Rhyno and Yoshihiro Tajiri.
Andrew Fulton: Hell yeah.
Jeremy Tucker: Now back to the match
Andrew Fulton: Nah, theyre still in the same sleeper hold.
Jeremy Tucker: OK then. Hey did you see that new non-reality show on Spike TV that started last week? The Joe Schmo Show?
Andrew Fulton: Yeah, I hate the guy. He wouldnt be there if not because he is so dumb. He is like Zach Gowen in the WWE. Hes there only because he is handicapped, one way or another.
Jeremy Tucker: You can be cruel sometimes. I really liked the show. Is not the best I have seen but oh well the fierce tantrum that the eliminated black girl threw was great in my opinion.
Andrew Fulton: I personally enjoyed the porn star part. Anyway I didnt watch it this week.
Jeremy Tucker: Me neither. Whoa, whoa! Tito is standing up from the mat with Sevens arm still wrapped around his neck in that sleeper hold. Hes getting out of the hold shoot! Tito fell to the mat again, and Seven keeps applying pressure to that hold.
Andrew Fulton: Well what else can we talk about?
Jeremy Tucker: Nothing comes to my mind.
Andrew Fulton: Why doesnt that surprise me? Hmmm let me see. Hey I have a newspaper here! Of course from a better place than this. The New York Times baby!
Jeremy Tucker: Whatever.
[Fulton checks the newspaper, passing the sheets quickly]
Andrew Fulton: Ok I got it. Horoscopes!
Jeremy Tucker: Oh Sweet Jesus.
Andrew Fulton: Aha Taurus. Guard against saying something you will regret. You wont win if you see only one side of a situation. Gather the facts first. Now with Leo!
Toby Navel (dizzy) : Who are you guys?
Andrew Fulton: Dont interrupt me; Im seconds away from reading something really important.
Jeremy Tucker: Hey Tito is up! Elbows to the ribs of Seven! Elbow! Elbow! Elbow! Tito gets out of the hold, runs to the ropes and comes back with a steady Lawrence Taylor shoulder block! Quick unorganized punches to the face and head of A7.
Andrew Fulton: Damn it!
Jeremy Tucker: What?
Andrew Fulton (screaming to Navel) : This son of a bitch threw up over the leg of my pants! Damn bastard!
Jeremy Tucker: Disgusting. All I can say is that its your entire fault, and only yours.
[Fulton kicks him away weakly]
Jeremy Tucker: Hey dont treat him like that. He is a RSA employee after all.
Andrew Fulton: So what; nobody cares about him. Proof: In any other case the EMTs wouldve rushed down the ramp to give him proper medical attention, right?
Jeremy Tucker: Right. What the hell is Tito thinking?
[Tito stares at Rally and points to the turnbuckle. Rally replies yawning]
Jeremy Tucker: I notice something strange
Toby Navel: TITO IS GOING ALL THE WAY UP TO THE TOP ROPE TO FINISH the already standing Adam Seven?
Jeremy Tucker: Tito was going to the top rope but the still cool Seven stops him locking him in a crucifix powerbomb position
Toby Navel (talking as a drunken veteran) : FLOM THA BACK!
Jeremy Tucker: Eh obviously. Go back to sleep Navel. Tito is in shock! CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB FROM THE SECOND ROPE! And a cute bridge!
El Atlético: One Two Thr (Tito kicks out!)
Toby Navel: Raven did a nice tray bot asnt gong to be so easey ah I feel like shit. Mommy help me.
Andrew Fulton: How a man can show he is so pathetic so many times in a few hours I really wonder how he can.
Jeremy Tucker: Yep, thats an event for Ripleys Believe it or Not.
Andrew Fulton: Fits more for The Worlds Funniest Animals.
Jeremy Tucker: Seven pulls Tito up by the hair. Tito tries to regain his domination in the match with hooks to A7s ribs but 7 pulls his arm and short clotheslines Tito. Tito chokes a little sitting on the mat.
Toby Navel (still dizzy) : Ravel with a stamp kick to the forehead, THA HEAD! WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT?!
Jeremy Tucker: Random kicks and
Toby Navel: [interrupting] WHAT DOES EVERYBODY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED?!
Andrew Fulton: [looking to the roof] God why you make fun of me? No one deserves to have to deal with an Al Snow mark, no one! What have I done, what?! You fucking bastard tell me what!
Jeremy Tucker: You are talking to God in that way? Stupid asshole!
Andrew Fulton: Hey Im just following RSA style. Ask Jake Porter and the Incredible Y.
Toby Navel: Anywaaaaayyyyy Snow is a greeeaaat wrestler without any doubt. I dont know I dont know what you are talking about frisk.
Andrew Fulton: So great he needed Coachman to come back to the picture he is so damn great.
Jeremy Tucker: Surely you are his #1 fan. Seven continues with kicks to the ribs and back of Tito, trying to lock him in a Half Boston Crab. He does! Tito is in pain and struggles to reach the bottom rope one foot away!
Toby Navel: PAIN!!! PAIN!!! PAIN!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Navel are you OK?! Your head is hurting?!
Toby Navel: PAIN!!! PAIN!!! PAIN!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Oh Jesus somebody help this poor guy! Wait a minute Fulton stop pinching him you maniac!
[Fulton who is biting his lips in delight stops pinching Navel]
Toby Navel: No more pain
Andrew Fulton: Yeah no more drama in my life meh.
[Tito pushes himself over the pain he is suffering because of 7s submission maneuver and finally reaches the bottom rope with his right hand]
Jeremy Tucker: Tito grabbed the rope and El Atlético orders 7 to release the lock.
Toby Navel: Raven steps awaaaaaaaaaaay from Tito and seizes him, waiting for him to stand up.
Jeremy Tucker: Navel let me do the commentary for now while you recover from that laptop shot.
Toby Navel: But I want
Jeremy Tucker: Rest a few minutes OK? Good. Tito stands up and Seven rushes to him to clock him with a Tito moved out of the way and Seven stops with the ropes a schoolboy pin faster than light!
El Atlético: One Two .Three! (Seven kicks out at last Pico-second!)
Jeremy Tucker: Seven is irate! Hits the mat with anger and goes for Tito only to go back to the mat with an out of nowhere Jay Leno arm drag!
[The audience starts to cheer for Tito]
Jeremy Tucker: Tito looks at Seven trying to stand up and runs to the ropes, bouncing back with THE FOREARM SMASH! Seven is out cold on the canvas! Tito amazed covers the fallen Seven as the crowd cheers louder for him!
El Atlético: One Two Three!! (Shoulder up by Seven!)
Andrew Fulton: Even the ref is confused.
Jeremy Tucker: What a great match were watching! Tito is excited because of the reaction of the people of Melbourne. He pulls up Seven to finish him but Seven wipes Titos hands off him and kicks him in the gut, immediately locking his head in an inverted headlock, signaling for "As the Worm Turns! His Twist of Fate into Stunner! Executed! Seven grapevine pins Tito
El Atlético: One Two Three!!!
DING! DING!! DING!!!
Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL! ADAM "SEVEN" PLUMMER!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Adam got the win! Theres no doubt that Tito doesnt have too much skills, but he damn sure has a big heart, and is learning every match! Great match well be back in a few, folks.
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Toby Navel: Jeremy; remind me what it means when a satanic-looking cult of fans emerge from the crowd and take the front row.
Jeremy Tucker: It means that its time to increase your medical and life insurance, because The Hellhounds have taken the stage!
[I Put a Spell on You by Marilyn Manson fills the ears of all in attendance, as Jonnie Valentine leads The Hellhounds out by their six-foot dog chains.]
Toby Navel: I dont get paid enough to be so close to the ring for these matches.
Jeremy Tucker: No one does, but can you imagine being in the ring with them?
[Cuban Necktie by Cypress Hill explodes on the airwaves as the Goodfellas charge the ring and go straight at it with The Hellhounds.]
Toby Navel: Adrian Tanner and James Murdock trading punches with the resident big dogs now. I tell you, in the faces of these guys is the LAST place Id like to be, and the Goodfellas are in it!
Jeremy Tucker: Show no fear in the face of the enemy; I suppose thats the plan!
Toby Navel: They simply arent the brawlers that The Hellhounds are though, as Psycho and Cerberus over-power the Goodfellas with crushing blows!
Jeremy Tucker: The Goodfellas on the ground, reeling from that beating. Cerberus grabs a hold of-his own partner? Toss on the ropes and a flying senton on Tanner!!
Toby Navel: Murdock with a swinging neckbreaker on Cerberus! He got it off!
Jeremy Tucker: Murdock locking it up with the rising Psycho, a knee to the gut gives Tanner the advantage. Toss toward the ropes, Irish whip reversal by Psycho Murdock ducks the clothesline from home! And a flying facebuster from off the ropes drops Psycho to the mat!!
Toby Navel: Psycho isnt staying down! Murdock with a drop toehold brings him back the mat and Tanner with an elbow to his back!!
Jeremy Tucker: And Cerberus flattens Murdock with a charge from the corner!! He caught him by surprise!!
Toby Navel: Tanner turning to face the much larger Cerberus, he misses a superkick and Cerberus launches Tanner out of the ring with a double underhook supplex!!
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus frothing at the mouth as he raises his hands to the crowd. Purgatories Puppies whooping their approval. Cerberus goes to the outside and reaches down to take a hold of the injured Tanner. He hoists him up in a firemans carry
Toby Navel: Psycho recovers and charges through the ring ropes!! Flying corkscrew neckbreaker as Cerberus completes a Samoan drop!!
Jeremy Tucker: Absolutely devastating!!
Toby Navel: Cerberus gets up; he smiles at the destruction hes just caused. He reaches over the guardrail to pick-up Tanner And Murdock with a baseball slid to Cerberus back, sending his ribs into the guardrail!!
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus turns to swing at Murdock, but Murdock ducks and slides back into the ring. Cerberus slides into the ring after him, and Murdock slides out and delivers a punch to the lower extremities of Cerberus.
Toby Navel: Murdock wising up; he knows he cant win in a straight up brawl with two monsters like The Hellhounds.
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus grabs Murdock by the right ear, he guides him to the top of the apron and delivers a crushing overhead punch to the back of Murdock. Cerberus goes for a supplex to bring his opponent back in the ring NO!!!
Toby Navel: Whoa!! Murdock reversed it!! He suplexed Cerberus right onto the outside guardrail!! Only his ribs broke his fall!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Psycho with a sign from one of The Puppies; he charges Murdock
[CRACK!!!]
Toby Navel: Whoa!! Thats the strongest cardboard Ive ever seen!
Jeremy Tucker: Murdock laying flat out on his back as Psycho pulls the cardboard picture of The Hellhounds off of a steel YEILD street sign!
Toby Navel: Yep, thatll hurt. Ya know, a similar situation happened to me once. There was this guy, and he had a French Poodle
Jeremy Tucker: and a lot of alcohol, Im sure, but you might have noticed that were in the middle of a match here sonny-boy! Tanner rises from the floor and a flying plancha right into Psychos back!! Psycho reeling, Tanner doesnt let up as he hits a spinning heel kick! He climbs on the apron hes going for the Running High Liter
Toby Navel: NO!!! He got caught mid-leap by Psycho!! Psycho nails Tanner with a t-bone into an ura-nage!! This is insane!!!
[THWAP!!!]
Jeremy Tucker: Murdock caught Psycho with a wrench!!! Whered he get that from!?! Now he chases Jonnie Valentine with that weapon!!
Toby Navel: Cerberus catches him by the neck! Murdock with a swing to the ribs! He couldnt get his full weight into it because of the chokehold, but its doing the damage due to the prior injury!! Another hit!! And yet another!! Murdock has gone crazy!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus reaches into the crowd, his hand probing for a weapon from Purgatories Puppies; what will it be!?!
Toby Navel: A meat thermometer!!!
Commissioner Brown: Stop the match!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Whered he come from?
Toby Navel: The front office?
Commissioner Brown: This is sick!! You guys are all out of control! Id expect that from The Hellhounds but from the Goodfellas? Are you applying for membership with The Hellhounds?
Jeremy Tucker: That meat thermometer wouldve been one hell of an interviewer.
Commissioner Brown: Dont get me wrong boys; this was a great match. Perhaps too good. In fact, too good for the price of admission!!
Toby Navel: The crowd not liking this one bit.
[Audience boos loudly.]
Toby Navel: See?
Commissioner Brown: I think that you boys need a more controlled environment. I am hereby rescheduling this match for two-weeks time at the Down Under Derby!!! You violent sons of bitches can kill each other in a no holds barred match!!!
Jeremy Tucker: So this match wasnt no holds barred?
Toby Navel: I think that the meat thermometer was barred.
---------
[The scene switches to the back, where we see Mars storming through the hallways, he looks pissed.]
Jeremy Tucker : There goes Mars, he looks like a man who is on a mission!
Andrew Fulton : Like Moe and Mabel?
Toby Navel : I wonder who it was who put him in that body bag?
Andrew Fulton : By the look on his face, they will be lucky if thats all he does to them!
[Mars rounds another corner, and see's Hero sitting on a table.]
Hero : Hey big guy. Hero here.
[Hero offers his hand to Mars, who stares a whole right through him.]
Hero : Ohhh, well, sorry to interrupt you, i can tell you have something on your mind, bad luck about what happened out there earlier.
[Mars keeps staring at Hero, unblinking then winds back and clocks him with a huge right hand, Hero goes down, and Mars continues walking down the corridor.]
Jeremy Tucker : Did you see that? Mars just leveled Hero!
Toby Navel : Hang on, Hero is back on his feet, he charges at Mars, and takes him down to the concrete with a big bulldog.
Jeremy Tucker : Looks like we are getting an added match up here tonight.
Toby Navel : Hero and Mars both to there feet,a nd they are really duking it out, exchanging lefts and rights.
Jeremy Tucker : And here come the security, whats with these guys, everytime a good brawl breaks out, these fools swarm in and break it up!
[Mars and Hero keep trying to get at each other, but the weight of the security numbers are too much, and they separate them.]
Jeremy Tucker : Looks like these two aren't finished with each other, lets hope we can get a match booked between them and sort it out in the ring, we'll be right back folks!
-------------
Jeremy Tucker : And we're back folks, what a great night its been, but now is the one everyone has been waiting for, the main event!
Andrew Fulton : What makes you think everyone is waiting for this match?
Jeremy Tucker : Well, its the main event, two of the three men who will be competing for the Australian Heavyweight Title at the Down Under Derby PPV!
Andrew Fulton : That is shaping up to be one hell of a card, i cant wait to see Commission Brown get rid of Reeve, man, if i have to hear about him and his hang ups with Soutter one more time, hey Reeve, "GET OVER IT!"
Toby Navel : And what about the other match announced tonight for the ppv, The Hellhounds Vs the Goodfella's!
Jeremy Tucker : After what we have just seen them four guys do tonight, anything can happen in that one!
[The opening to The Headless Children by WASP hits and smoke fills the entrance ramp, black lights cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background, the main guitar riff hits and Triple B, Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke and walks towards destiny.]
Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, AND IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING, INTRODUCING FIRST, HAILING FROM RED BANK, NJ, AND COMING IN AT 6'5 & 225 LBS, "TRIPLE B" BIG BAD BIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Toby Navel : There he is, the man i am picking to win it all at the ppv, and become the first Ring Syndicate Australia Heavyweight Champion!
Andrew Fulton : He doesn't stand a chance!
Toby Navel : You sound pretty confident there Fulton, why dont you back it up!
Andrew Fulton : Why don't you go and get me a coffee, and know your god damned role!
Jeremy Tucker : Good one Rock! Seriously Andrew, you seem pretty sure of yourself that Bill wont win the Title, what will you do if he can?
Andrew Fulton : OK, is this the part where i am supposed to get all rattled and agree to strip in the ring or something if he wins it?
Toby Navel : Did you hear that Jerry, Fulton just said he would strip off in the ring if Bill won the title!
Andrew Fulton : I did not!
Jeremy Tucker : Forget it Toby, he would never follow through with it anyway, he's got no balls, and if he had to strip, everyone would see just that!
Andrew Fulton : All right, your on! Triple B wins the title at the ppv, and i'll strip off in the centre of the ring!
[Toby and Jerry high five as Me Against Me by Project 86 hits, and Nick Cairo slowly makes his way onto the rampway, he poses for the crowd, and then continues on towards the ring.]
Frank Salazar : AND NOW MAKING HIS WAY TOWARDS THE RING, HAILING FROM BAKERSFIELD, CA, AND COMING IN AT 6' & 221 LBS, NICK CAIIIROOOOOOO!!!]
Ding, ding, ding!
Jeremy Tucker : Referee Nick Tsalazidis just signaled for the bell while Cairo was entering the ring, and this one is underway.
Toby Navel : So Fulton, who you think is going to win this one?
Andrew Fulton : Get stuffed Toby!
Jeremy Tucker : Please guys, Cairo and Bill move in to meet each other in the centre of the ring, they hook up, and Bill is using his unorthodox method of digging his fingers into Cairo's neck, trying to cut of the carrarted artery.
Toby Navel : Nick Cairo having none of it, he is still fresh, and whips Bill into the ropes .....
Jeremy Tucker : Bill reverses the Irish whip, and .....
[WHAM!]
Toby Navel : Thrust kick out of no where!
Jeremy Tucker : Out of no where is right, Bill nailed him right on the chin, and Cairo hits the deck!
Toby Navel : Triple B is such an unusual wrestler, i have never come across anyone like him.
Andrew Fulton: In all your weeks in the business?
Jeremy Tucker : Your right Toby, he is one of a kind, Cairo showing some signs of movement on the mat, and Triple B moves into the side of him, and grabs a hold of the neck, applying pressure, this must be one of his pressure point moves!
Toby Navel : Bill has mastered every pressure point on the human body, and even some animals!
Andrew Fulton : Isn't that illegal?
Jeremy Tucker : Your a sick man Fulton!
Andrew Fulton : Me? I'm not the one going around applying pressure point holds and god knows what else on animals!
[Nick Cairo slides over to the ropes, and referee Nick Tsalazidis forces Bill to break the hold.]
Jeremy Tucker : Nick Cairo back up to his feet now, and both men hook up again.
Toby Navel : Bill again digging them long fingers into the neck of Cairo!
Jeremy Tucker : Cairo whips Bill towards the ropes, Bill goes to reverse it again, Nick was expecting it, and hooks him around the waist, planting Triple B with a devastating Belly to Belly suplex!
Toby Navel : Bill going to the well once to often there, and Cairo was more than ready for it!
[Bill back to his feet, and Nick catches him with a nice European uppercut, and then drills him with a snap suplex.]
Jeremy Tucker : Cairo was lightning quick there, and he is really taking it to Bill!
[Bill getting to his feet, and Nick hooks him and rolls him up in a small package.]
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............... 2 .................(Triple B breaks the hold.)
Toby Navel : Cairo nearly had him there, both men get to there feet, and Nick Cairo lifts Bill up under the shoulders and connects with a high impact Sky High! Shades of D LO Brown there.
Andrew Fulton : Do you think D LO is related to our very own Commissioner Brown?
Jeremy Tucker : Well, its such an uncommon name, you never would know! Cairo calls that the Rydeen Bomb!
Toby Navel : Cairo surprised me this week, talking about his lifestyle, he is Straight Edge, and he doesn't care who knows!
Andrew Fulton : That is something i will never understand! No sex before marriage? No drinking? No fun?
Jeremy Tucker : He is a role model Fulton!
[Cairo lines Bill up for a back heel kick, and Bill counters it with a punch to the ankle. Cairo stumbles, but retains his footing, and swings at Bill with a right, favoring his poor foot.]
[CRACK!]
Toby Navel : Triple B just punched Nick right in the fist, he wasn't expecting that, Bill wastes no time grabbing Cairo and tossing him over his head!
Jeremy Tucker : Nick gets to his feet quickly, still favoring the leg and ringing his fist that Bill just smashed, and Bill tosses him over again, Cairo landing heavily.
Toby Navel : Triple B tossing him around like a rag doll, this one has really turned around, and Bill is now having his way with Nick Cairo!
[Triple B picks up Cairo and throws him into the ropes, Cairo comes running in, and Bill takes him down with a nice trip.]
Jeremy Tucker : Triple B tripping Nick over there, and Cairo went face first into the mat.
Toby Navel : Cairo in deep trouble here, i got the feeling Triple B could put him away any second now.
[SMASH]
Jeremy Tucker : SWEET JESUS! Nick Cairo just clipped the knee of Triple B! Desperation move there from Nick!
[Cairo wastes no time, he grabs Bills and locks in a knee bar, and then turns it around, and connects with a few elbows to the extended knee.]
Toby Navel : Cairo trying to take away the legs of Bill. Nick picks Bill up and drops him with a Flair knee breaker, and then follows it up with a Dragon Screw leg whip, he really is going to work on the legs of Bill now!
[Nick Cairo now nails Triple B with a Ventura Backbreaker into a falling DDT]
Jeremy Tucker : Rocky Horror Picture Show he calls that combo. Cairo runs and climbs the ropes, while Bill gets to his feet.
Toby Navel : He got him! Nick Cairo connected with the missile dropkick to the back of Bill's head, this could be it right here, as Cairo drops for a cover, and hooks a leg!
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ................ 2 ....................... (Triple B rolls the shoulder, and the Dandenong Basketball stadium takes a collective breathe.)
Jeremy Tucker : This match is in the balance right here, which way is it going to go?
[Nick Cairo hits Bill with a Standing Moonsault, and then follows it up with a Quebrada Moonsault.]
Toby Navel : Cairo looking the goods here! Nick signals that its all over, and goes for the Split leg moonsault!
Jeremy Tucker : Three in a row, he calls that combo the 3rd Phase of the Moon!
Andrew Fulton : Well, maybe there was an eclipse or something there on that third one, because Bill just rolled out of the way of Nick in the nick of time, no pun intended!
Jeremy Tucker : Cairo missed it, he missed the split leg moonsault!
Toby Navel : Thats opened the door for Triple B, and he doesn't need more than one opportunity, and he nails Cairo with a devastating raised open hand!
Jeremy Tucker : That rocked Nick, he slammed that upper hand right into Cairo and thats the set up for the Dis - Locator!
Toby Navel : DIS LOCATOR! Triple B just locked Nick Cairo in the Dis Locator, and this one is all over!
Jeremy Tucker : Referee Nick Tsalazidis down in position checking on Cairo.
[CRACK!]
Toby Navel : SEVEN JUST NAILED TRIPLE B WITH A COPPER PIPE!
Jeremy Tucker : What in the heck is he doing out here!
[Triple B slumps to the ground unconscious and Nick Cairo rolls ontop of him for the cover.]
Referee Nick Tsalazidis : 1 ............... 2 ................................ 3!!!!!!!!!
Toby Navel : Cairo did it, ohh my god, Nick Cairo just defeated Triple B Big Bad Bill!
[CRACK!]
Jeremy Tucker : Damn that Seven, he just nailed Nick Cairo with the copper pipe as well, and now he enters the ring, looking down at both men with a cocky smirk on his face........
[Cashout by Fugazi hits and Adam Plummer raises one hand in the air as the show fades.]
Jeremy Tucker (fading) : Damn, we are out of time folks, catch us next week on the final No Mans Land before the Down Under Derby PPV!
