A Public Apology to Donzig brought to you by the Marsupials
Sept 20, 2021 19:17:34 GMT -5
CWA Admin, BRAVE1, and 3 more like this
Post by Marsupials of Mayhem on Sept 20, 2021 19:17:34 GMT -5
Alas, the screen is filled with an NPW backdrop for a customary promo package position in the studios.
Central to it all stands the gorgeous Possum, wearing a single strap grey fur bra and black skinny leg jeans while she twirls her grey tail.
Over her left shoulder stands the grizzly beast known as the Wombat. He almost looks as though he’s scowling while not looking at the camera.
Over her right shoulder stands the Eucalyptic Apocalypse, Kid Koala. He’s wearing a Miami Dolphins Tua Tagovailoa jersey while he smokes a rolled cigarette of some description.
Possum wraps an arm around the shoulders of Kid Koala.
POSSUM:
“At Fight for the Fallen we saw the coming of the Marsupials of Mayhem.
“And it was almost friggen GLORIOUS!”
She holds up three fingers.
POSSUM:
“There were three left. All fell before them.”
The three fingers change to one.
POSSUM:
“But one.”
Stepping forward, Kid Koala pushes past Possum who tries to maintain an excited, giddy look on her face.
KID KOALA:
“Donzig. Most might say… Well fucking done, man.”
He sticks the “cigarette” in the corner of his mouth and claps his hands. And it’s not even sarcastic.
Well, I really can’t tell.
KID KOALA:
“One by one they all fell down. One by one their relativity was celebrated. Down they went…”
Behind him, the Wombat holds up a single solitary finger and makes a downward gesture.
KID KOALA:
“And down they go. Down, down, down…into the ground. Into the dirt. Where we come from right? Ashes to ashes and dust to dust and all that stuff.
“See, to become relevant we must be born again.
“And to be born again… we must die.”
Kid Koala draws a long drag of that smoke.
KID KOALA:
“But Donzig… Of all those that entered into that Battle Royale, and all of those who may be reborn only one cannot.”
He points straight down the barrel of the camera.
KID KOALA:
“See, you made your stance. You stood amongst them all. King Shit of Fuck Mountain. Congratulations on surviving. Commiserations on your ongoing irrelevance.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t kill you.”
He hangs his head in shame. The Wombat claps a hand on his back to console him.
KID KOALA:
“I mean, we get to Nova fucking Scotia and give everyone else the opportunity to be re-born but we don’t give it to you?
“What kind of man does that make me, Donzig? Huh? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MAN DOES THAT MAKE ME?”
His breathing is erratic. Possum shakes her head as if she were disappointed herself.
KID KOALA:
“We go to all this effort and we leave one...
“ONE!
“One person out.
“I’m so disgusted with myself. I’m so disappointed. I really am and I want you to know, Donzig, while you might be able to use the victory to deflect your disappointment the only consolation I can give you is this…”
He stands before the camera, hands out is if he were some sort of religious apparition before you.
A filthy, grimy, weed-smoking religious apparition but hey… he’s an upgrade on the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
KID KOALA:
“Let me make it up to you, Donzig. Please.”
He puts his hands together, as if in prayer.
KID KOALA:
“I beg of you give me the opportunity to give you what I took away at Fight for the Fallen.
“Let me give you rebirth. Relevance. Let me rectify this situation. Let me send you back to the dust in which you came from and light the pyre of your revolution THROUGH your revelation.”
POSSUM:
“Please, Donzig! Forgive him!”
In the background, the Wombat shakes his head in disgust and paws the air, and leaves the set. Kid Koala turns to watch him leave, gesturing after him.
KID KOALA:
“Do you see how this makes us feel?
“We let you down, Donzig. We let you down.
“We gave rebirth to everyone except you.”
He puts his hands on his chest.
KID KOALA:
“Even I was reborn. How fucking selfish of me. I give myself renaissance and put a spotlight on your insignificance.
“But I beg of you, Donzig… let me make this up to you. Please, accept my apology and let me make this up to you.
“Let me give you rebirth.”
Those praying hands come together again.
KID KOALA:
“You name the time and the place and I will satisfy your resurrection.
“Your resurrection into relevance.
“You don’t need to hide in shame behind your Battle Royale victory because we both know that you did not win.
“You were the only loser.
“The only person who remains inside their empty shell. The only one what missed their funeral pyre.
“You deserve this, Donzig. You deserve to burn with the rest of us.”
He thumps his fist into his chest as if to make a respectful gesture. Before his face twists into a monstrous response.
KID KOALA:
“But I’m telling you now…
“If you don’t give us opportunity for penance for leaving you in that piss filled bucket of mediocrity you call your irrelevance, a.k.a your life, then we will come and take it.
“COME-AND FUCKING-TAKE IT!”
Ferocious and snarling, Kid Koala’s breathing has become erratic. His eyes are wild. His hands bawled into fists.
Over his shoulder, Possum snarls her pretty face.
KID KOALA:
“I will make you fucking relevant whether you like it or not.
“So you tell me, Donzig… will you die with me?”
</Fade to Black>
Central to it all stands the gorgeous Possum, wearing a single strap grey fur bra and black skinny leg jeans while she twirls her grey tail.
Over her left shoulder stands the grizzly beast known as the Wombat. He almost looks as though he’s scowling while not looking at the camera.
Over her right shoulder stands the Eucalyptic Apocalypse, Kid Koala. He’s wearing a Miami Dolphins Tua Tagovailoa jersey while he smokes a rolled cigarette of some description.
Possum wraps an arm around the shoulders of Kid Koala.
POSSUM:
“At Fight for the Fallen we saw the coming of the Marsupials of Mayhem.
“And it was almost friggen GLORIOUS!”
She holds up three fingers.
POSSUM:
“There were three left. All fell before them.”
The three fingers change to one.
POSSUM:
“But one.”
Stepping forward, Kid Koala pushes past Possum who tries to maintain an excited, giddy look on her face.
KID KOALA:
“Donzig. Most might say… Well fucking done, man.”
He sticks the “cigarette” in the corner of his mouth and claps his hands. And it’s not even sarcastic.
Well, I really can’t tell.
KID KOALA:
“One by one they all fell down. One by one their relativity was celebrated. Down they went…”
Behind him, the Wombat holds up a single solitary finger and makes a downward gesture.
KID KOALA:
“And down they go. Down, down, down…into the ground. Into the dirt. Where we come from right? Ashes to ashes and dust to dust and all that stuff.
“See, to become relevant we must be born again.
“And to be born again… we must die.”
Kid Koala draws a long drag of that smoke.
KID KOALA:
“But Donzig… Of all those that entered into that Battle Royale, and all of those who may be reborn only one cannot.”
He points straight down the barrel of the camera.
KID KOALA:
“See, you made your stance. You stood amongst them all. King Shit of Fuck Mountain. Congratulations on surviving. Commiserations on your ongoing irrelevance.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t kill you.”
He hangs his head in shame. The Wombat claps a hand on his back to console him.
KID KOALA:
“I mean, we get to Nova fucking Scotia and give everyone else the opportunity to be re-born but we don’t give it to you?
“What kind of man does that make me, Donzig? Huh? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MAN DOES THAT MAKE ME?”
His breathing is erratic. Possum shakes her head as if she were disappointed herself.
KID KOALA:
“We go to all this effort and we leave one...
“ONE!
“One person out.
“I’m so disgusted with myself. I’m so disappointed. I really am and I want you to know, Donzig, while you might be able to use the victory to deflect your disappointment the only consolation I can give you is this…”
He stands before the camera, hands out is if he were some sort of religious apparition before you.
A filthy, grimy, weed-smoking religious apparition but hey… he’s an upgrade on the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
KID KOALA:
“Let me make it up to you, Donzig. Please.”
He puts his hands together, as if in prayer.
KID KOALA:
“I beg of you give me the opportunity to give you what I took away at Fight for the Fallen.
“Let me give you rebirth. Relevance. Let me rectify this situation. Let me send you back to the dust in which you came from and light the pyre of your revolution THROUGH your revelation.”
POSSUM:
“Please, Donzig! Forgive him!”
In the background, the Wombat shakes his head in disgust and paws the air, and leaves the set. Kid Koala turns to watch him leave, gesturing after him.
KID KOALA:
“Do you see how this makes us feel?
“We let you down, Donzig. We let you down.
“We gave rebirth to everyone except you.”
He puts his hands on his chest.
KID KOALA:
“Even I was reborn. How fucking selfish of me. I give myself renaissance and put a spotlight on your insignificance.
“But I beg of you, Donzig… let me make this up to you. Please, accept my apology and let me make this up to you.
“Let me give you rebirth.”
Those praying hands come together again.
KID KOALA:
“You name the time and the place and I will satisfy your resurrection.
“Your resurrection into relevance.
“You don’t need to hide in shame behind your Battle Royale victory because we both know that you did not win.
“You were the only loser.
“The only person who remains inside their empty shell. The only one what missed their funeral pyre.
“You deserve this, Donzig. You deserve to burn with the rest of us.”
He thumps his fist into his chest as if to make a respectful gesture. Before his face twists into a monstrous response.
KID KOALA:
“But I’m telling you now…
“If you don’t give us opportunity for penance for leaving you in that piss filled bucket of mediocrity you call your irrelevance, a.k.a your life, then we will come and take it.
“COME-AND FUCKING-TAKE IT!”
Ferocious and snarling, Kid Koala’s breathing has become erratic. His eyes are wild. His hands bawled into fists.
Over his shoulder, Possum snarls her pretty face.
KID KOALA:
“I will make you fucking relevant whether you like it or not.
“So you tell me, Donzig… will you die with me?”
</Fade to Black>
