The American Truth (Nobody Oct .7 RP)
Sept 25, 2021 7:36:52 GMT -5
CWA Admin, BRAVE1, and 1 more like this
Post by sniper on Sept 25, 2021 7:36:52 GMT -5
Joe Nobody sits in the front seat of his car, as it’s parked on the side of the road. The concrete supports of a bridge are visible in the rear window.
“I hope you don’t mind the informal setting. I didn’t really have time to make a fancy-schmancy script for a promo, so no neat camera angles, no special effects. But, let’s make one thing absolutely clear. The simple fact that I have to face both Eddie Havok and Scruffy Burns in the same match absolutely pisses me off. In fact, anyone who actually knows me, and knows my history, knows that I absolutely deplore multi-man matches. I would much, much rather have a single opponent to focus on. In fact, I was going to sit back, and in all honesty really not try in the match at all. You know, pull the old ‘Let My Opponents Beat the Shit Out Each Other then Steal the Win’ strategy. But, I thought that I would entertain myself, by listening to the promos of the two chucklefucks, I have a match with to try and get a judge on their character. So I sync my phone up with my car’s Bluetooth, press play, and then the amount of absolutely, mindless dribble that came out of the mouth of Scruffy Burns, made me slam on my brakes so hard. I left teeth marks on my steering wheel.”
Nobody lets out a slight chuckle.
“You know when I first heard your name, Mr. Burns. I thought it was a homage to Matt Groening. You know the Burns from Montgomery C. Burns of The Simpsons, and Scruffy the Janitor from Futurama. But, then I heard your full name John Quincy Adams Burns, and then I thought am I wrestling one of the characters from M*A*S*H. And I heard how much pride you had in your namesake. And while he may have been the son of second US President John Adams, as well as Sixth President himself, it’s clear as day to me. That your chances of winning are receding more than his hairline. Fact, John Quincy was the only President to be elected by the House of Representatives. In fact, he opposed the annexation of Texas and the Mexican-American war. Fact, after serving an absolutely abysmal term in office, in which he did little to nothing. He took his flawed ideology to the US Senate, where he suffered a stroke while protesting against whether or not US Army soldiers of the Mexican-American war should be honored. And as a former military man myself, the mere thought that any politician living or dead would think that any serviceman should not be honored, for sacrificing their time, strength, and for many, there lives to defend the freedoms and liberties of our country, makes me sick to my stomach. In fact, a stroke may be the only thing the prevents the beating I’m about to give you. But I want to show something first, something that may shock you, something you may not want to see, but trust me. It’s better you see this now.”
Nobody, grabs the camera, as he exits the car. He gives a slow pan of the street, showing things like a woman on the corner, a man talking to someone in a car, kids playing basketball with a modified hoop made up of a milk crate, and a piece of plywood nailed to a tree. A broken, rusted car appears to have been sitting in the same spot for months. He walks for a bit showing abandoned houses some half burned down, some with broken windows, and others with boarded-up windows and doors, with the words ‘Gas Dead Fred’ spray-painted on them. He then turns the camera back to him.
“Welcome to Delray. Now don’t like the vest and tie fool you, I did not come from class, I came from this.”
Nobody holds his arms out.
“While you may claim to love America, Scruffy. The America you love is merely a farce, a lie, a fancy paragraph in a pamphlet you find at a hotel, and nothing else. This… This is the real America. It is the woman selling her body to feed her kids. It is the man selling dope to keep a roof over his family’s head. American is the land of opportunity anymore. It is a land of greed and squalor. Too many like you, have been spoon-fed lies, and it’s apparent to me, you care nothing about the plight of its citizens. The America you know and love is dead, and this is what it has become. These are the forgotten Americans.”
Nobody motions to the kids playing basketball, to join him on camera.
“This the new face of America. The youth who will take their hardships, the same hardships I grew up facing, and hopefully turn them around it something positive. Now, this is merely speculative, for I can not what the future holds for these young, bright youths. But, I can only hope for the best. As for you, the thing you can hope for is my beating of you is quick and painless.”
“I hope you don’t mind the informal setting. I didn’t really have time to make a fancy-schmancy script for a promo, so no neat camera angles, no special effects. But, let’s make one thing absolutely clear. The simple fact that I have to face both Eddie Havok and Scruffy Burns in the same match absolutely pisses me off. In fact, anyone who actually knows me, and knows my history, knows that I absolutely deplore multi-man matches. I would much, much rather have a single opponent to focus on. In fact, I was going to sit back, and in all honesty really not try in the match at all. You know, pull the old ‘Let My Opponents Beat the Shit Out Each Other then Steal the Win’ strategy. But, I thought that I would entertain myself, by listening to the promos of the two chucklefucks, I have a match with to try and get a judge on their character. So I sync my phone up with my car’s Bluetooth, press play, and then the amount of absolutely, mindless dribble that came out of the mouth of Scruffy Burns, made me slam on my brakes so hard. I left teeth marks on my steering wheel.”
Nobody lets out a slight chuckle.
“You know when I first heard your name, Mr. Burns. I thought it was a homage to Matt Groening. You know the Burns from Montgomery C. Burns of The Simpsons, and Scruffy the Janitor from Futurama. But, then I heard your full name John Quincy Adams Burns, and then I thought am I wrestling one of the characters from M*A*S*H. And I heard how much pride you had in your namesake. And while he may have been the son of second US President John Adams, as well as Sixth President himself, it’s clear as day to me. That your chances of winning are receding more than his hairline. Fact, John Quincy was the only President to be elected by the House of Representatives. In fact, he opposed the annexation of Texas and the Mexican-American war. Fact, after serving an absolutely abysmal term in office, in which he did little to nothing. He took his flawed ideology to the US Senate, where he suffered a stroke while protesting against whether or not US Army soldiers of the Mexican-American war should be honored. And as a former military man myself, the mere thought that any politician living or dead would think that any serviceman should not be honored, for sacrificing their time, strength, and for many, there lives to defend the freedoms and liberties of our country, makes me sick to my stomach. In fact, a stroke may be the only thing the prevents the beating I’m about to give you. But I want to show something first, something that may shock you, something you may not want to see, but trust me. It’s better you see this now.”
Nobody, grabs the camera, as he exits the car. He gives a slow pan of the street, showing things like a woman on the corner, a man talking to someone in a car, kids playing basketball with a modified hoop made up of a milk crate, and a piece of plywood nailed to a tree. A broken, rusted car appears to have been sitting in the same spot for months. He walks for a bit showing abandoned houses some half burned down, some with broken windows, and others with boarded-up windows and doors, with the words ‘Gas Dead Fred’ spray-painted on them. He then turns the camera back to him.
“Welcome to Delray. Now don’t like the vest and tie fool you, I did not come from class, I came from this.”
Nobody holds his arms out.
“While you may claim to love America, Scruffy. The America you love is merely a farce, a lie, a fancy paragraph in a pamphlet you find at a hotel, and nothing else. This… This is the real America. It is the woman selling her body to feed her kids. It is the man selling dope to keep a roof over his family’s head. American is the land of opportunity anymore. It is a land of greed and squalor. Too many like you, have been spoon-fed lies, and it’s apparent to me, you care nothing about the plight of its citizens. The America you know and love is dead, and this is what it has become. These are the forgotten Americans.”
Nobody motions to the kids playing basketball, to join him on camera.
“This the new face of America. The youth who will take their hardships, the same hardships I grew up facing, and hopefully turn them around it something positive. Now, this is merely speculative, for I can not what the future holds for these young, bright youths. But, I can only hope for the best. As for you, the thing you can hope for is my beating of you is quick and painless.”
