Post by robriot on Sept 28, 2021 7:42:45 GMT -5
“God save our gracious Queen, long live our noble Queen, God save our…”
The strains of the UK’s national anthem are accompanied by an image of the Union flag waving proudly in the breeze, but they’re cut short by the familiar beeping intro of Mansun’s “Take It Easy, Chicken.” From there, it’s a short dive into the soaring guitar riff of the song as the Bastards step into the frame in front of the flag.
The giant form of Billy Fowler stands at the back of the trio with both of the Imperial Crown Tag Team Championship belts over his broad shoulders, with Rob Riot to his left and Frank Windsor to his right. They look very pleased with themselves!
As the music fades down into the background, Riot speaks.
“Well, well, well. This wasn’t in the script, was it? NPW moves on to a brave new era on a brave new network, and all three of us know there are people out there who didn’t think the Bastards were coming along for the ride. Well, fight fans, check out who’s carrying the gold.”
Riot and Windsor both grin as they slap the tag belts on Fowler’s shoulders. Windsor picks up from where Riot left off.
"We came, we saw, we conquered. We did exactly what we said we were going to do, brah. Prime Time ran out of time, and now it's the Bastards time. And when I say 'Bastards,' I mean all three of us. Tell 'em, Billy."
Both Riot and Windsor look up to Fowler, who nods at the camera.
“People thought I was a joke. People thought I wasn’t a team player. Allow me to set the record straight. I’ve been waiting for my chance, and here it is. Your boys the Bastards have been talking to the suits upstairs, and we have special dispensation with these tag titles. If you want to come and take the gold, you don’t have two Bastards to worry about. You have three. All three of us are champions, and any two of us can defend these titles at any one time. If you know your apples, ladies and gentlemen, then you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. From now on, the Freebirds rule is in operation. We’re going to keep you guessing, and we’re going to keep these titles for a long, long time.”
The background changes. The British flag disappears, and in its place, we get stock footage of a space rocket on its launch pad. The trio takes a step aside to allow the audience a clear view of it as Riot provides narration.
“We know people have questions, so we’re going to answer them for you in the shape of this perfect metaphor. Behold, if you will, this space rocket. It’s full of fuel. It’s ready to launch. But it’s carrying a lot of unnecessary weight. Watch what happens…”
In sped-up footage, we watch the rocket blast off into the sky with a burst of flame and billowing smoke. Up it goes into the Earth's upper atmosphere and then beyond it. Riot's lecture continues.
“The Bastards didn’t come into NPW alone. We came with the Galactic Sex Pirates. When you’re preparing to launch, you need all that power behind you. You need a push. You need momentum. Once you’ve launched, though, the extra weight becomes a hindrance. The rockets have served their purpose. They’re no longer helping you on your way to your destination - they’re holding you back. And so…”
In the background footage, we see the rocket stages fall away from the spaceship, dropping back towards the Earth as the capsule and the rest of the ship travels on toward the moon.
“...you cut off that dead weight. You let it fall away and burn up in the atmosphere. That dead weight, my friends, is the Galactic Sex Pirates. Their purpose has been served. We’ve let them fall away and burn because we got what we wanted from them, and now our journey continues. The GSP is gone, and the Spaceship Bastard flies on without them. Only we’re not going to the moon…”
Windsor cuts in.
“We’re going all the way to the stars.”
The spaceship disappears and is replaced by the Bastards logo. Riot points at it.
"This new network is an opportunity to build something new. It's a new era, and it starts with the Bastards as your Imperial Crown Tag Team Champions. Let me assure and warn all of you that we take this commitment very seriously. You'll still get jokes, but not as many. We're still going to drink, but not as hard. What we're going to do each and every time we're called on the defend these belts, though, is crack bones and stamp on heads. It doesn't matter if it's the Revenants. It doesn't matter if it's the Marsupials of Mayhem. It doesn't matter if some mutated arm of the KGB finds its way in here or Prime Time crawls back out of the crater we left them in. There's a new standard in the tag team division, and you're looking at it. We won these belts at Honour, and you can be damn sure we're going to defend them with Honour. But of course, I'm too flowery with my words here. What all of this boils down to for anybody who wants to take them from us is… well, I'll just let Fowler tell you."
The biggest of the Bastards stares straight down the camera with a confident grin and delivers a line that every English football fan is familiar with.
“Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough. We’re the Bastards…”
The trio speak as a chorus:-
“And we believe in you.”
The strains of the UK’s national anthem are accompanied by an image of the Union flag waving proudly in the breeze, but they’re cut short by the familiar beeping intro of Mansun’s “Take It Easy, Chicken.” From there, it’s a short dive into the soaring guitar riff of the song as the Bastards step into the frame in front of the flag.
The giant form of Billy Fowler stands at the back of the trio with both of the Imperial Crown Tag Team Championship belts over his broad shoulders, with Rob Riot to his left and Frank Windsor to his right. They look very pleased with themselves!
As the music fades down into the background, Riot speaks.
“Well, well, well. This wasn’t in the script, was it? NPW moves on to a brave new era on a brave new network, and all three of us know there are people out there who didn’t think the Bastards were coming along for the ride. Well, fight fans, check out who’s carrying the gold.”
Riot and Windsor both grin as they slap the tag belts on Fowler’s shoulders. Windsor picks up from where Riot left off.
"We came, we saw, we conquered. We did exactly what we said we were going to do, brah. Prime Time ran out of time, and now it's the Bastards time. And when I say 'Bastards,' I mean all three of us. Tell 'em, Billy."
Both Riot and Windsor look up to Fowler, who nods at the camera.
“People thought I was a joke. People thought I wasn’t a team player. Allow me to set the record straight. I’ve been waiting for my chance, and here it is. Your boys the Bastards have been talking to the suits upstairs, and we have special dispensation with these tag titles. If you want to come and take the gold, you don’t have two Bastards to worry about. You have three. All three of us are champions, and any two of us can defend these titles at any one time. If you know your apples, ladies and gentlemen, then you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. From now on, the Freebirds rule is in operation. We’re going to keep you guessing, and we’re going to keep these titles for a long, long time.”
The background changes. The British flag disappears, and in its place, we get stock footage of a space rocket on its launch pad. The trio takes a step aside to allow the audience a clear view of it as Riot provides narration.
“We know people have questions, so we’re going to answer them for you in the shape of this perfect metaphor. Behold, if you will, this space rocket. It’s full of fuel. It’s ready to launch. But it’s carrying a lot of unnecessary weight. Watch what happens…”
In sped-up footage, we watch the rocket blast off into the sky with a burst of flame and billowing smoke. Up it goes into the Earth's upper atmosphere and then beyond it. Riot's lecture continues.
“The Bastards didn’t come into NPW alone. We came with the Galactic Sex Pirates. When you’re preparing to launch, you need all that power behind you. You need a push. You need momentum. Once you’ve launched, though, the extra weight becomes a hindrance. The rockets have served their purpose. They’re no longer helping you on your way to your destination - they’re holding you back. And so…”
In the background footage, we see the rocket stages fall away from the spaceship, dropping back towards the Earth as the capsule and the rest of the ship travels on toward the moon.
“...you cut off that dead weight. You let it fall away and burn up in the atmosphere. That dead weight, my friends, is the Galactic Sex Pirates. Their purpose has been served. We’ve let them fall away and burn because we got what we wanted from them, and now our journey continues. The GSP is gone, and the Spaceship Bastard flies on without them. Only we’re not going to the moon…”
Windsor cuts in.
“We’re going all the way to the stars.”
The spaceship disappears and is replaced by the Bastards logo. Riot points at it.
"This new network is an opportunity to build something new. It's a new era, and it starts with the Bastards as your Imperial Crown Tag Team Champions. Let me assure and warn all of you that we take this commitment very seriously. You'll still get jokes, but not as many. We're still going to drink, but not as hard. What we're going to do each and every time we're called on the defend these belts, though, is crack bones and stamp on heads. It doesn't matter if it's the Revenants. It doesn't matter if it's the Marsupials of Mayhem. It doesn't matter if some mutated arm of the KGB finds its way in here or Prime Time crawls back out of the crater we left them in. There's a new standard in the tag team division, and you're looking at it. We won these belts at Honour, and you can be damn sure we're going to defend them with Honour. But of course, I'm too flowery with my words here. What all of this boils down to for anybody who wants to take them from us is… well, I'll just let Fowler tell you."
The biggest of the Bastards stares straight down the camera with a confident grin and delivers a line that every English football fan is familiar with.
“Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough. We’re the Bastards…”
The trio speak as a chorus:-
“And we believe in you.”
