Post by Keith Williams on Nov 6, 2021 18:55:49 GMT -5
Rapidly lifting five pound weights and grunting, Jeff Noon is shown shirtless, his gut hanging over a pair of khakis. In a basement, the manager of The ReVenants looks to be preparing for the Great Northern War. Posters decorate the walls showing famous wrestlers from the 80s and 90s when steroids were more of a "thing", in comparison to Jeff's body it makes him look even wimpier.
Noon does a final rep, shouting as he drops the weights and begins to walk over to a crowd of... Equally out of shape, shirtless white guys? What's going on here?
Jeff Noon: "What's the first rule of Noon Club?"
Walking around the group, eyeing up each member, Jeff drills into them the importance of the rules.
Everyone: "The first rule of Noon Club is: You do not talk about Noon Club!"
Yelling it together, everyone seems to know the first rule.
Jeff Noon: "The second rule of Noon Club is: You do not talk about Noon Club."
Redundant, but keep going.
Jeff Noon: "Third rule of Noon Club: someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over."
Intimately looking at the nipple hairs of one person, Jeff slowly steps away to examine a man's large moles.
Jeff Noon: "Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight."
Simple enough.
Jeff Noon: "Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas."
Don't wanna get distracted by too much action.
Jeff Noon: "Sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes."
Looking down as he wiggles his bare toes, Jeff returns to reciting rules.
Jeff Noon: "Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to."
NO TIME LIMITS.
Jeff Noon: "And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Noon Club, you have to fight."
Two pasty newcomers enter the open space inside the circle, ready to fight. Noon is about to signal them to start when he's interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice from the top of the stairs.
Noon's Mom: "Jeffy, how many pizza rolls should I cook??"
Jeff Noon: "Mom!! I told you not to bother me during Noon Club!!"
Noon's Mom: "Okay, sweetie. I'll just do two bags! Are you having fun?"
Jeff Noon: "YES!"
Noon's Mom: "Alright. Be good, boys!"
Narrowing his eyes, Jeff sighs and utters a single word.
Jeff Noon: "Fight."
In slow motion, the fighters lunge at each other and it only results in light slapping as the two aren't eager to take any punishment. With zero savagery, the mass of shirtless men still cheer and go wild as if this is how they normally fight. Wait, it isn't, is it? Left to ponder how long these matches usually go, the scene fades to black as Noon observes and nods his head like he's seeing every move before it happens.
Noon does a final rep, shouting as he drops the weights and begins to walk over to a crowd of... Equally out of shape, shirtless white guys? What's going on here?
Jeff Noon: "What's the first rule of Noon Club?"
Walking around the group, eyeing up each member, Jeff drills into them the importance of the rules.
Everyone: "The first rule of Noon Club is: You do not talk about Noon Club!"
Yelling it together, everyone seems to know the first rule.
Jeff Noon: "The second rule of Noon Club is: You do not talk about Noon Club."
Redundant, but keep going.
Jeff Noon: "Third rule of Noon Club: someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over."
Intimately looking at the nipple hairs of one person, Jeff slowly steps away to examine a man's large moles.
Jeff Noon: "Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight."
Simple enough.
Jeff Noon: "Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas."
Don't wanna get distracted by too much action.
Jeff Noon: "Sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes."
Looking down as he wiggles his bare toes, Jeff returns to reciting rules.
Jeff Noon: "Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to."
NO TIME LIMITS.
Jeff Noon: "And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Noon Club, you have to fight."
Two pasty newcomers enter the open space inside the circle, ready to fight. Noon is about to signal them to start when he's interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice from the top of the stairs.
Noon's Mom: "Jeffy, how many pizza rolls should I cook??"
Jeff Noon: "Mom!! I told you not to bother me during Noon Club!!"
Noon's Mom: "Okay, sweetie. I'll just do two bags! Are you having fun?"
Jeff Noon: "YES!"
Noon's Mom: "Alright. Be good, boys!"
Narrowing his eyes, Jeff sighs and utters a single word.
Jeff Noon: "Fight."
In slow motion, the fighters lunge at each other and it only results in light slapping as the two aren't eager to take any punishment. With zero savagery, the mass of shirtless men still cheer and go wild as if this is how they normally fight. Wait, it isn't, is it? Left to ponder how long these matches usually go, the scene fades to black as Noon observes and nods his head like he's seeing every move before it happens.
