Post by franchiseface on Nov 6, 2021 22:57:58 GMT -5
BREAKING TMZ REPORT!!!
TIMMY A FROM TARA CRUISE PARENTS PRESSING CHARGES!!
STEVE AWESOME GETTING SUED FOR ASSAULTING CHILD?
#SUPERKICKAKID GETTING #CANCELLED
The news report begins by showing a child in a wheelchair. His leg and his arm are both in casts. He has a neck brace around his neck and a cut on his lip that looks like a lot more make up than actual pain.
“He just came up and kicked me. Me. A small child!”
Timmy A starts crying and his mother consoles him. His father steps forward.
“I would have stopped him from hurting my child. But I i uh….had already been hit in the head with a hammer….many, many times.”
He sobs a bit but keeps himself under control.
“We were supposed to have a great time on our wrestling cruise vacation. But instead, I gotta watch my poor child get ransacked by a professional wrestler three times his size.”
He takes a second to wipe the crocodile tears from his face.
“As you can see, poor Timmy was hurt significantly by the kick. He warped his wrist cartilage, he hyper extending his fibula oblangotta, and doctors are telling us his lip may not ever grow back the same way again. Dont even get me started on the mental trauma he has suffered.”
Timmy A starts to cry hysterically and looks to the camera.
“WAHHHH AM I GONNA DIE!?”
His mother hugs him.
“Maybe son. Maybe!?”
They both start crying together. The father looks at this and then starts to get angry.
“You see what I mean? I dont want much…..I just want monetary justice for my son and my family. We are absolutely prepared to take Steve Awesome to court for this and-
TIMMY A FROM TARA CRUISE PARENTS PRESSING CHARGES!!
STEVE AWESOME GETTING SUED FOR ASSAULTING CHILD?
#SUPERKICKAKID GETTING #CANCELLED
The news report begins by showing a child in a wheelchair. His leg and his arm are both in casts. He has a neck brace around his neck and a cut on his lip that looks like a lot more make up than actual pain.
“He just came up and kicked me. Me. A small child!”
Timmy A starts crying and his mother consoles him. His father steps forward.
“I would have stopped him from hurting my child. But I i uh….had already been hit in the head with a hammer….many, many times.”
He sobs a bit but keeps himself under control.
“We were supposed to have a great time on our wrestling cruise vacation. But instead, I gotta watch my poor child get ransacked by a professional wrestler three times his size.”
He takes a second to wipe the crocodile tears from his face.
“As you can see, poor Timmy was hurt significantly by the kick. He warped his wrist cartilage, he hyper extending his fibula oblangotta, and doctors are telling us his lip may not ever grow back the same way again. Dont even get me started on the mental trauma he has suffered.”
Timmy A starts to cry hysterically and looks to the camera.
“WAHHHH AM I GONNA DIE!?”
His mother hugs him.
“Maybe son. Maybe!?”
They both start crying together. The father looks at this and then starts to get angry.
“You see what I mean? I dont want much…..I just want monetary justice for my son and my family. We are absolutely prepared to take Steve Awesome to court for this and-
The TV clicks off and all you can see is Steve Awesome standing next to his lawyer.
“That's complete bullshit. They are totally making all this up for money.”
The lawyer nods his head and sighs.
“Well, everyone saw you super kick that kid, so I have to say it looks bad.”
Steve grabs the Dylan Arm and uses it to massage his chin as he thinks.
“This sucks, they already accepted my bribe. They are playing me.”
Steve slices the air with the Dylan Arm.
“Not any more. We are going to pay them a visit, and see if I can make them settle outside of court….”
The lawyer nods his head and sighs.
“Well, everyone saw you super kick that kid, so I have to say it looks bad.”
Steve grabs the Dylan Arm and uses it to massage his chin as he thinks.
“This sucks, they already accepted my bribe. They are playing me.”
Steve slices the air with the Dylan Arm.
“Not any more. We are going to pay them a visit, and see if I can make them settle outside of court….”
“HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA!”
The camera fades in to see the Face of the Franchise looking in tip top form. His abs were rippling, his hair was perfect, his smile was sparkling. He looked like a million bucks as the NPW ad began to play on the television.
“The time has come.”
He nods his head.
“Oh yeah, The Blast of Class, The Only one that Matters, the Prettiest Player in the game is coming back to grace you with his presence once and yet again. This time he’s walking into the Scotiabank Arena with the Openweight Championship. Thats right yall, I finally beat the vampire warrior and I took his title. I’m a proud Openweight Champion and when I walk into that arena, I plan on living with that belt elevated even higher than it already was before. When I leave that arena I’m going to raise that belt over my head and a few more people will have realized that this is the championship you want to hold if you want to be something in this business.”
He grins.
“But first, I have to defeat Ronnie Lang. My first title defense, people. This is big, because we got the whole world watching. We got everyone looking this way, waiting with baited breath to see what's going to happen. I won't lie, I feel that pressure. I feel that tension. I feel the monkey on my back. Everyone is dying to know…..”
He stops and tilts his head to the side.
“Can Steve Awesome do it?”
He runs a palm through his hair.
“Can Steve Awesome get through his first defense? My opponent has twenty plus years experience. And as much as I don't like him and think he’s a literal dome, I can’t deny the possibility that that pointless bastard could possibly get the win. Then what do I have?”
He shrugs.
“Just a bunch of worthless shit talking?”
He shakes his head.
“I absolutely refuse to allow that to happen folks. I’m not going to go out in my first defense after everything I've worked for.”
He slowly removes his sunglasses. The intensity in his green eyes was palpable.
“Look me in my eyes, Awesome-Holics.”
He points at his eyes.
“You know that when I say, I’m going to show up to the Great Northern War and I’m going to whip Ronnie Langs ass until he cant stand up, you know that im not messing around baby. You know that you are going to have to get yourself in front of a tv, sit your ass down and watch a Real Top Guy go to work.”
Steve flashed an confident grin.
“Awh yeah baby, you are not going to want to miss this fight, folks. Because I’m coming in like only the Face of the Franchise can do it, and I’m going to show Ronnie Long exactly who in the hell I am, when I step foot in Scotiabank and I whip the asses and entertain ALLLLLLLLLL the masses.”
He smirks.
“So dont miss it. Get your tickets. Plan your night. Because you are going to get to see The Face of the Franchise prove why he deserves to be the Openweight Champion. And as for Ronnie,....”
He smirks and shrugs.
“Yeah he’s tough, but after I’m done with him, he’s just going to be a whiny, pathetic little….”
He stops for a second.
“C-U-Next-Tuesday, Ronnie.”
Crotch chop.
Fade.
